Posting couple photos and others opinion

[venusaholic]

Me and my boyfriend had been in a successful relationship(LDR) for 4 years. We certainly have our fights but we get back again. But deep down, I am having this anger hidden because he left. And I am a social-media-girl and i like to post stuff about us and he's the opposite. I was okay with it until I saw him tagged in a photo in instagram with 2 girls and I felt kind of jealous(i need advice on that too). So I asked him to post a pic of us and he tells me that his friends would make fun of it. Who's right and who's wrong? How to solve this?

[Wiseman2]

Have you met in person? How old is he? Maybe he doesn't want to broadcast everything on social media. Leave him alone. You do what you want, he does what he wants.

(LDR) for 4 years. I am having this anger hidden because he left. I was okay with it until I saw him tagged in a photo in instagram with 2 girls and I felt kind of jealous. So I asked him to post a pic of us and he tells me that his friends would make fun of it.

[venusaholic]

Have you met in person? How old is he?

We had been together for 1 year before he moved for higher studies. And now he comes down once a year for a month. We're both 23.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like you both moved on. Hopefully you are also dating locally. It may not be wise to follow an ex on social media like this.

We had been together for 1 year before he moved for higher studies. And now he comes down once a year for a month. We're both 23.

[Doc Blaze]

but first who are these girls,what kind of pic was it....club? just hanging out, apple picking (lol) etc...

 

my gf an I are very anti posting couples pics. we have maybe 4 pics of us together that we have actually posted.

 

 

one thing that kinda concerns me is your bfs reasoning though. Either way its bs, if he is concerned about

his friends, he needs to grow up, and if he is lying for the reason, that's even worse.

the excuse is bad.

 

 

But asking to post pics, to show you guys are together wont do anything if he is fading away

do you know how many couples post those kind of pics then weeks later you see them break up

my strongest relationship so far has been when we kept the majority of things off social media.

[Wiseman2]

How can he post "couple pics" if you are never together?

now he comes down once a year for a month.

[limichelle]

That doesn't sound good that he is embarrassed but yet posts pics of him with other people.

 

If he cared about your relationship he would have no reason to care what others think.

 

Do you think it's because he only sees you once a year so he hasn't really talked about you?

 

Lisa

[surfdiva]

Yeah, my ex was like this. He'd NEVER...EVER take pictures with me so I had nothing to even post on social media. He used to tell me he didn't like the way he looked in pictures but low and behold, he was just fine having his pic taken with his sister, his friends and most recently his new girlfriend. I was with this guy for 3 years and I think I have two pictures of us together.

 

Not sure what to tell you, but for me it's not a good sign. I'm sorry

[Doc Blaze]

That doesn't sound good that he is embarrassed but yet posts pics of him with other people.

 

If he cared about your relationship he would have no reason to care what others think.

 

Do you think it's because he only sees you once a year so he hasn't really talked about you?

 

Lisa

 

he didn't post those pictures...he was tagged in those pictures which means someone else did.

[IAmFCA]

I do not like how fb/IG/etc are used as tools to claim territory. I have been posted on fb twice as part of a couple - actually, maybe only once and on someone else's page. Asking your bf to post was your way of asking to make public that he is taken. A natural response to your LTR situation. I object to using social media for that purpose though, because it isn't authentic and because it is ripe for misuse. If it were natural for him to post a couple pic, say, at an event that included you both in a formal setting, or with friends, etc., then it would make sense to post. You are not together but one month out of the year. There aren't times for you to be together to create couple pics.

 

I am not sure why you are a couple, actually. It sounds to me by your own description that you are holding on to him, and that he is surprised you are still there and is wishing you would give up on him already. If you are angry that "he left" and you are acknowledging the very real likelihood that he has a social life independent of you - as he should - then you must also be acknowledging that he is not your bf anymore. Not in any way but title, and maybe not in title to anyone whom he has just met in his new location. The jealousy is a way of trying to deny, or force him to speak out loud, that reality. His approach of withdrawing, your approach of pretending 1 month out of 12 is enough - both are passive aggressive ways to put the responsibility of breaking up at the other person's feet. Each of you is hoping to be in position to look like an angel and dump your anger on the other person. Both are avoiding the reality that this isn't working.

 

I do not see what you are getting out of this arrangement, and I am sorry, I think this relationship is over whether either one of you breaks up with the other one, or not. I do not see the point in being angry, nor do I see the point in holding him accountable. It is what it is, and if you want a man in your life, you will have to dump this one.

 

If you disagree, that's fine of course. To address the jealousy, back away until you are at a comfortable distance such that his natural behavior is acceptable to you. Then decide.

[Edmund Exley]

Did he actually post the pics, or was he just tagged. (Not that it matters, he has the right to chose to post whatever he likes)