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I just found out my boyfriend is bisexual, what do I do?

LostInLights

By LostInLights
in Relationship Advice

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LostInLights Newbie

LostInLights

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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years now. He truely is the love of my life. He completes me in every way. I just had our beautiful daughter 5 weeks ago. Both very excited. I thought we had it together. Picture perfect little family. My heart filled with joy, everything I ever wanted. Although he has had some issues with the law and its keeping him from seeing her right now. He hasn't been able to see her since the day she was born. He is currently living in a halfway house and will be there for a minimum of 4 months so he technically won't be able to see our babygirl until she's 5 months old the earliest. He recently just told me he's bisexual. My heart broke. Not only is he bi but he's been having relations with a guy he works with. He tells me he loves me and he wants to move in with us when he gets out of the halfway house or move somewhere. Don't get me wrong I don't have a problem with people being gay, I have plenty of gay friends and my cousins even gay, whatever. But I guess I do I have an issue if it involves me.. I can't look at him the same anymore. I'm heartbroken. Like I said he tells me he loves me and he can't wait for our future together but he's been so distant ever since he met this guy and I have this feeling like I've been replaced emotionally and physically. I'm miserable and he's so incredibly happy. I don't know what to do. It's not fair to me whatsoever. He expects me to be okay with it. The way I see it he can't have his cake and eat it too. Am I being selfish? I want to feel loved fully for being me too tho and I'm not getting that. I have a feeling I won't ever get that if I stay. I also want him around to be in his daughters life too tho. Should I just say it and move on? He's my world tho. Help!

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j.man Grand Master

j.man

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You can like people who are gay and bisexual. Liberal-minded people don't enjoy getting cheated on, either.

 

This has little, if anything, to do with the fact he's bisexual and everything to do with the fact he was disloyal. I'm not sure you'd be fairing much better if he banged Sally the secretary instead of Jay the IT guy. You don't have to be "okay" with it.

 

I can understand you wanting to keep both of you in the picture for the sake of your daughter. I don't know how possible that is. Couple's counseling is most likely the only way, if there is one. Sorry you're going through this.

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Edmund Exley Contributor

Edmund Exley

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What the hell.. you aren't concerned about issues with the law that have him unable to see his newborn baby but you are heartbroken he is bisexual?!

 

Wake up. He cheated and he lives in a half way house. That's the problem. Not that he likes men and women.

 

Is he involved in drug use?

 

I was going to say, sexual orientation seems to be the small problem here.

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qwaspolk82 Contributor

qwaspolk82

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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years now. He truely is the love of my life. He completes me in every way. I just had our beautiful daughter 5 weeks ago. Both very excited. I thought we had it together. Picture perfect little family. My heart filled with joy, everything I ever wanted. Although he has had some issues with the law and its keeping him from seeing her right now. He hasn't been able to see her since the day she was born. He is currently living in a halfway house and will be there for a minimum of 4 months so he technically won't be able to see our babygirl until she's 5 months old the earliest. He recently just told me he's bisexual. My heart broke. Not only is he bi but he's been having relations with a guy he works with. He tells me he loves me and he wants to move in with us when he gets out of the halfway house or move somewhere. Don't get me wrong I don't have a problem with people being gay, I have plenty of gay friends and my cousins even gay, whatever. But I guess I do I have an issue if it involves me.. I can't look at him the same anymore. I'm heartbroken. Like I said he tells me he loves me and he can't wait for our future together but he's been so distant ever since he met this guy and I have this feeling like I've been replaced emotionally and physically. I'm miserable and he's so incredibly happy. I don't know what to do. It's not fair to me whatsoever. He expects me to be okay with it. The way I see it he can't have his cake and eat it too. Am I being selfish? I want to feel loved fully for being me too tho and I'm not getting that. I have a feeling I won't ever get that if I stay. I also want him around to be in his daughters life too tho. Should I just say it and move on? He's my world tho. Help!

 

No you should not be okay with him CHEATING on you. That's what he has done. It doesn't matter that he's bisexual. So what? But he admitted to having relations with someone else. It doesn't matter if it's a man or woman who he is screwing on the side.

 

No you aren't selfish at all. He can be around your daughter and you two aren't together. People need to stop this idea that they have to be in a relationship if they have a child or children together.

 

You need to talk to him and tell him that if he wants to be with this guy he can't be with you. He has to make a choice. If he chooses the guy then you are better off without him. Figure out custody, visitation, etc.

 

He's the one who is being selfish. Not you.

 

What legal issues does he have that he can't see your daughter? I know my ex lived in a halfway house after he got out of rehab. Generally that's what halfway houses are for.

 

He seems to have a LOT of issues; not just the infidelity. He needs to get that all under control before he worries about relationships with anyone and seeing his daughter.

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