Itsjustme1349 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 After a three year relationship, my girlfriend left me. She blocked me on Facebook, phone, etc., never gave me a real reason why, she just came over and picked a fight one morning and that was it. Just to be clear, I'm not still trying to get back with her. I haven't contacted her in any way in months. I did contact her about ten times through various methods over the first few months, but she did not want anything to do with me so here I am. No closure, I want to believe she was just crazy, and that whoever she left me for will end up the same as me because she's flawed, but part of me still feels like I just flat out wasn't good enough or what she wanted. Details of the relationship: In the beginning we seemed to hit it off so well, but she had problems with me occasionally smoking pot. (She never did drugs or drank). Also I had been with way more women in the past than she had men, which made her insecure. Even so, after a month of us dating she moved in to my apartment without asking. She used to sit and pout all night often, and when I would try to console her or ask what was wrong she wouldn't tell me. It would go on all night until I gave up, then finally she would come forward just when I was about to go to sleep, or if I just got mad. After 6 months we both moved into a house that she bought in her name. She asked me to move in, so I got rid of my apartment and moved in. Within two weeks, it started... We would have disagreements, could be about anything, and she would explode, and kick me out. Didn't matter if it was 2am and snowing outside, or that I didn't have a car or anywhere to go, she kicked me out into the cold. I would get a ride somewhere somehow, then hours later she would be begging me to come back telling me how sorry she was. This happened once every 2-3 weeks for the next two years, only as time went on the breakups went from hours to days, then in the end a couple month long ones, then finally she left me for good. Obviously it was a bad situation for me I just can't figure out if she was mentally unstable or just didn't like me, but if she didn't like me why stay for three years? All of the times between the arguments were so loving, nice, she was attentive, she supported me as my career was taking off, texting me all day every day, good sex, etc... But she just told me she never felt like she was enough for me, and she would just explode like that. I don't get it. It's hard to know what to take from a relationship when you have no idea why a person would treat you so bad.
Edmund Exley Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 I dont think this is about being "good enough" and there are 2 sides to every story, but your side paints a picture of her being a person with some signs of mental issues. Borderline personality disorder is possible based on the behaviors you mentioned here.
Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 Wow be glad you are out of this and she's gone. She sounds crazy. There's a book called "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" by Jerold J., M.D. Kreisman it explains this type of crazy behavior.she would explode, and kick me out. Didn't matter if it was 2am and snowing outside, or that I didn't have a car or anywhere to go, she kicked me out into the cold. I would get a ride somewhere somehow, then hours later she would be begging me to come back telling me how sorry she was. This happened once every 2-3 weeks for the next two years
SooSad33 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 Somtimes.. the problem's not YOU... its her honestly, I'm not sure WHY or how you managed to stick around that long? Low self esteem? Why a person would treat you so bad? Cause you let them. YES, some people are toxic! I suggest you from now on.. move away from anything to do with her and keep going... Work on your accepting and healing from this messy ordeal and get yourself and your Life back in order.
No1 Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 In the 3 years you two were together, did you do anything to improve your life or your future? She bought a house in her name, what did you do? You mentioned that you dont even have a car. To me it sounded like she was in a love/hate relationship. She couldnt stand being alone, but she couldnt stand being with you. It didnt work, you two were just not compatible and you two are better off now. Now for you, why did you stay so long? If this went on for 2 years then why on Earth would you stay?
DancingFool Posted October 31, 2016 Posted October 31, 2016 The real question you should be asking - why on earth did I stay with this crazy woman in this insane situation for so long? What was I thinking and how do I make sure that I never ever end up in that situation again? Juuuuuust a suggestion. Actually, your question as presented reeks of terrible low self esteem, thus the answer to the above questions on why you stayed and put up with it. Work on that.
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