jackie103 Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Me and my ex gf of almost 3 years broke up in June due to me bringing up marriage jokingly, and her saying that she wants to date other people before marriage... I've posted a couple of threads that go into a little more detail. She was really upset about breaking up as she said she wasn't ready and she knows nothing went wrong in our relationship, but since she mentioned the whole dating other people thing, she felt like we couldn't go back from that. Anyway, I've been feeling much better although I think deep down, I still would like her to want me back. Lately though, I've been thinking more about GIGS and some of the things she said to me that have me confused again. A lot of forums talk about girls with GIGS who jump into a rebound relationship and then want to come back... but i'm 100% positive my ex did not have a rebound or dump me for anyone and that she just wants to be single. I dont know if she has dated around or not since then but aren't the chances for a girl who just lives the single life without jumping into a rebound relationship much less likely to come back? Also, a lot of GIGS forums state that girls tend to want to date around more when the last relationship was their first. My ex had a couple of boyfriends in high school and also had like 2 casual flings in college, so I'm confused why she still wants to date around. I remember after she told me that she doesnt have a lot of experience in dating, i told her that she has dated people before and she replied back by saying, "yeah, but none of them were good". She told me i was the best relationship she ever had and no one ever treated her as good as I did... Does she really think she's going to find someone better? I guess i've just been thinking about stuff like that more and trying to understand how her thoughts are... She gave up on someone who finally treated her right to try to find the same thing in someone else. Just doesn't make sense to me... any advice? I've been keeping strict NC with her for almost 2 months. She messaged me about 2 weeks into NC about something selfish so i didn't respond but if she actually had something important to say to me, I've decided that I would reply. That hasnt happened yet though... Not sure if she realized how selfish her last messages to me were. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Unfortunately it sounds like the marriage conversation was premature, so was the knee-jerk breakup. This isn't about gigs, it's about she didn't want to get married.me bringing up marriage jokingly, and her saying that she wants to date other people before marriage. I still would like her to want me back. i'm 100% positive my ex did not have a rebound or dump me for anyone and that she just wants to be single. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Lesson One: Forget trying to understand other peoples thoughts. Your mind will drive you insane and no one has the answer except for her. Link to comment
jackie103 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Share Posted October 31, 2016 Unfortunately it sounds like the marriage conversation was premature, so was the knee-jerk breakup. This isn't about gigs, it's about she didn't want to get married. I had no intentions of getting married for a very long time. I'm a senior in college and she just graduated in the spring and moved to a new city to start her job. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Then it makes sense that she would want to enjoy her new freedom and career and money and location without being tied down in a ldr to someone still in college. It sounds like you outgrew each other and this was the fork in the road after a college relationship.I had no intentions of getting married for a very long time. I'm a senior in college and she just graduated in the spring and moved to a new city to start her job. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 she just graduated in the spring and moved to a new city to start her job. There's your answer Link to comment
shiner501 Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Lesson One: Forget trying to understand other peoples thoughts. Your mind will drive you insane and no one has the answer except for her. ^^^^This People always have their own reasons and the fact that hers were not aligned with yours does not necessarily make her "wrong", you were incompatible and wanted different things at this particular time Link to comment
Wolfshook Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Never settle for being seccond best. If she wants to date other people,let her be. 10 months after bu, I can only say that you shouldnt waste a minute of your life on anybody that isnt going to be besides you. Whether it be thinking about her or waiting for her, do your best to move on and forget her. Her reasons dont matter,unless there is something you can learn from them. Life is too short to be waiting for other people that wouldnt do the same for you. Link to comment
jackie103 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Share Posted October 31, 2016 Then it makes sense that she would want to enjoy her new freedom and career and money and location without being tied down in a ldr to someone still in college. It sounds like you outgrew each other and this was the fork in the road after a college relationship. I understand that. It hurts that she didn't think I was enough and that she wants to find someone who is "good" even though she already found one. She said she didn't treat me the way I deserved and after these 2 months of NC I agree.. I think the relationship was a bit abusive physically on her part but even though now I know she didn't treat me right, I still want her back. I think she forgets about a lot of things she/i did so i'm not even sure she will realize what she did wrong and what she lost. I've been much happier these days compared to the first month but there are still times when I think back and miss her and the memories Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 It sounds like you are lonely and miss having a relationship. This isn't about your self worth it's about being LD and incompatible. By now you should be out dating again, not pondering how much you miss her abusiveness. This makes no sense 103;6680007]I think the relationship was a bit abusive physically on her part but even though now I know she didn't treat me right, I still want her back. Link to comment
jackie103 Posted October 31, 2016 Author Share Posted October 31, 2016 Never settle for being seccond best. If she wants to date other people,let her be. 10 months after bu, I can only say that you shouldnt waste a minute of your life on anybody that isnt going to be besides you. Whether it be thinking about her or waiting for her, do your best to move on and forget her. Her reasons dont matter,unless there is something you can learn from them. Life is too short to be waiting for other people that wouldnt do the same for you. I like this. I've improved a lot over these last 2 months... I think about her much less and am happier now each day. I will try to follow your advice... she'll have to deal living life without me whether it makes her sad or happy. I'm coming to terms with that Link to comment
Wolfshook Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 I like this. I've improved a lot over these last 2 months... I think about her much less and am happier now each day. I will try to follow your advice... she'll have to deal living life without me whether it makes her sad or happy. I'm coming to terms with that Exactly,and remember this if she ever contacts you with "I miss you",remember that this isnt your problem any more, she has to sleep in the bed she made. Link to comment
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