Long term intimacy issues

[MA9920]

I am posting because it would be nice to get an idea of what others would do, or what they are thinking. Or whether they would admit its a lost cause.

 

So, I am in a almost 6 year relationship so far and we have been living with each other for over a year. Both me and my partner are between 25-27. Everything else is our lives is perfect, however the main issue is the lack of intimacy between us both.

 

Not going into too much detail, but the lack of interest is on his side. He often wont talk about it with me, every time I attempt to initiate it 100% gets rejected. This has been going on for over a year now. I have always felt that intimacy brings a lot of closeness in a relationship, and is pretty important for a surviving relationship. He however has recently put on weight and has spoken with me about him not feeling comfortable with himself, which I understand. However, he is not making any efforts to better himself and I encourage healthy eating... Im just a bit at a loss here =/. It has come to the point where its started to effect my mind.. asking questions like;

 

is it me/ and I unattractive to him?

do I have a real problem here?

 

I really doubt there is anyone else on his end, he is too busy with work, which is another issue.

 

I was just wondering. After a year of constant rejection and no attempts to better himself. Would you stay?

[mustlovedogs]

I think after a year of no attempts at change, you have your answer.

[MA9920]

I get that, however it feels a waste to throw a 6 year relationship down the drain. Especially as everything else is fine...

[IAmFCA]

I understand not wanting to walk away from five years.

 

The bigger problem is tossing away your future. Don't do that.

[IAmFCA]

OP my exH had no interest once we got engaged. It's not you. From what you describe, it's consistent with intimacy avoidance, a deeper emotional challenge that only he can change IF he wants to, and it isn't easy.

 

There is more to discuss. I suggest you Google intimacy avoidance, or the avoidant attachment style.

[kamurj]

Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.