Jump to content

Should I stay or should I go?


Recommended Posts

I will keep this as brief as possible. First a bit of background on myself and partner.

We met 3 years ago. We live in separate countries. We see each other every 6 weeks.

The trouble is, he doesn't seem to have any gonads. He is a lovely guy when he gets what he wants. When he doesn't, he is manipulative, he plays the 'shift the blame game' and refuses to talk about any deep issue i have with him. He is never in a mood and is always polite in his abuse. Latest thing to dumbfound me is, he offered to take me on his business trip at the beginning of this year. I was totally stoked. But it turns out I couldnt go after all due to unforseen circustances. I was totally disappointed but only in the way he dealt with it. He used ridiculous unfounded excuses and manipulates situations from years and months ago to justify himself...I actually don't really know why I couldnt go, I dont believe its what he said it was. Its pissed me off so much that he doesnt acknowledge his lack of action and honesty is the problem. We could have a great relationship if he would just acknowledge that he does indeed behave like a complete jerk at times.

Anyway, I said to him to not talk to me if he couldn't respond to what I wrote, he basically said he was sick of being blamed for everything and that he tries his best but its never enough. This is typical, he refuses to answer the actual problem. I have got to the point where I just didnt reply. Its been 9 days since I responded to his texts....and yet he keeps texting as normal, every day, like nothing is wrong, its like he hasn't even noticed he isn't getting a response...I really don't know what to do anymore. He is supposed to be coming out next weekend and the thought of him coming over and just speaking as if nothing has happened, expecting sex....I cant bear it...why on earth wouldn't he just pick up the phone and say...whts up? why haven't you returned my texts....or something...

Any advice would be welcome. I can't talk to friends about this as I just don't want to.

Link to comment

Maybe this has run it's course and it's time to consider ending this for something local and more suitable. Is he married? He just doesn't seem into you, that's why he doesn't bother.


Does this statement really make sense to you? could have a great relationship if he would just acknowledge that he does indeed behave like a complete jerk at times.

Link to comment

Hi, thanks for the response.

Yes, it does make sense to me. Sometimes I behave badly, but then I put my hands up to that and own my mistakes and I'm apparently not allowed to forget them. If he behaves like a jerk, he refuses to acknowledge it, talks about it but takes no responsibility for it. He was married for 6 years, together for 20. She turned to vices and the relationship broke down.

I just received another text telling me he loves me, hopes I'm okay and he misses me!

Would he really keep me hanging on for 3 years, asking me to move over and telling me I'm his first real love....if he didn't mean it? That's the confusing part, his words don't match his actions.

The more I write, the more silly I feel...sighs...

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...