Schris93 Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 My significant other doesn't tell me when "the ex" sends text messages...he stresses to me he doesn't write her back... And he even shows me the messages that she writes him. I don't ask to see them, he just shows me. My issues is, it bothers me he doesn't tell me when his ex sends him random texts. There was some from two weeks ago, last week and even early this morning... he tells me he doesn't think it's a big deal because he doesn't pay no mind to her nor does he reply back to her. He doesn't think he should tell me if he doesn't reply to her.... But I feel as he should. Why wouldn't he tell me when his ex texts him.. I'm extremely bothered but he thinks I'm over reacting. Advice please. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 And he even shows me the messages that she writes him.. What does she say to him?? I'm really curious why she has to be in touch with him so regularly. She surely can't be talking about the weather. That said, I don't think you are over reacting. My gut tells me there's more going on here. Link to comment
milly007 Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Why is his ex texting him? And if he's not responding, why does she continue to text? Link to comment
Schris93 Posted October 29, 2016 Author Share Posted October 29, 2016 Two weeks ago she texted him telling him " I seen you do the things with her that we use to do" or "where did we go wrong" this morning she asked if he was going to a local bar. Link to comment
Schris93 Posted October 29, 2016 Author Share Posted October 29, 2016 She will even write " is my number blocked or something" and when he didn't reply she just put " what ever" Link to comment
Snny Posted October 29, 2016 Share Posted October 29, 2016 Why isn't he blocking her number? Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Yes.... if he's not bothering to reply then why doesn't he just block her? He's obviously getting some kind of kick out of her contact (ego boost or he's actually meeting her at that bar) and she knows he won't respond but is letting him know to be there????? Ask him why he just doesn't block her and let us know what he says. Link to comment
Schris93 Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 Well from what he tells me, he doesn't block her because when he did have her blocked she would download an app to text him. She was asking if he was going to a local bar they use to go to cause I guess she didnt want to run into him... idk. I'm just so annoyed and confused. Link to comment
Schris93 Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 He said what's the point in blocking her when she will just use another phone or download an app to bother him Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Tell him to block the number or anything else. Good luck Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Then surely he can block her from that app as well. If he wanted it to stop, it would be stopped simply just by telling her to stop if that is what it takes. Something isn't adding up and I'd be annoyed as well... I certainly wouldn't be confused because him not making it so she goes away is telling in itself. What good does him telling you when she text him do for either of you or your relationship? How long have you two gone out and how long ago did they break up? Does she know he's with you now? Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 He said what's the point in blocking her when she will just use another phone or download an app to bother him Tell him to delete that particular app from his phone so that she can't reach him through it. Geeze it sounds like he really wants the attention. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 His nose is growing.... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Agree , why the hell isn't he blocking her ! Anyway , I imagine he just feels a sense of unease telling you and keep mentioning her ..him not telling you isn't the problem darling , him allowing her to do this is where the problem is . Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 His nose is growing.... I agree heart throb darling lush box ... hhmmmmmm Link to comment
Strawberryrock Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Personally, I'm friends with my ex as in we still hangout all the time and very close. Your insecure and you need to trust him. But don't you dare try to tell him not to be her friend anymore or to block her. That was a relationship he shared way before he met you and you came along. Just trust him and stay out of it Sorry if that's harsh but your being insecure Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I agree heart throb darling lush box ... hhmmmmmm Fab, Pips...simply fab. Link to comment
Schris93 Posted October 30, 2016 Author Share Posted October 30, 2016 Personally, I'm friends with my ex as in we still hangout all the time and very close. Your insecure and you need to trust him. But don't you dare try to tell him not to be her friend anymore or to block her. That was a relationship he shared way before he met you and you came along. Just trust him and stay out of it Sorry if that's harsh but your being insecure I'm not insecure. Trust that. He knows he can go if he wants to. I don't need him. Her writing him doesn't bother me, it's the simple fact he doesn't tell me when she texts him. Why not mention it? He can do what he wants and talk to who he wants. I obviously trust him until I found out otherwise. Link to comment
milly007 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm not buying the 'why bother blocking her if she's just going to use another phone or app to message me'. As ThatwasThen mentioned, I'm sure he could find a way to block her from the app. I get the feeling as well that he's enjoying the attention and ego stroking. He should be blocking her; not just out of respect for your relationship but also because he knows it bothers you. That said, he should be blocking....asap. I'd like to know how he would feel if your roles were reversed and one of your exes was texting you. Link to comment
Iggy5129 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Personally, I'm friends with my ex as in we still hangout all the time and very close. Your insecure and you need to trust him. But don't you dare try to tell him not to be her friend anymore or to block her. That was a relationship he shared way before he met you and you came along. Just trust him and stay out of it Sorry if that's harsh but your being insecure Lol and how many healthy long term relationships have you had while being "best friends" with you ex? Link to comment
milly007 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Personally, I'm friends with my ex as in we still hangout all the time and very close. Your insecure and you need to trust him. But don't you dare try to tell him not to be her friend anymore or to block her. That was a relationship he shared way before he met you and you came along. Just trust him and stay out of it Sorry if that's harsh but your being insecure The OP described the substance of the messages being sent. Needless to say these messages aren't coming from a close-knit friend, but what seems to be a jealous ex. There's always going to be an exception, but I think most people would feel uncomfortable if their partner was communicating with an ex. Pair that with the types of messages OP's boyfriend is receiving and I don't blame her for feeling uncomfortable with the situation. Link to comment
Usa1ah Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Explain how he is to stop her when she uses different phones or apps when he has blocked her in the past. Link to comment
notalady Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Explain how he is to stop her when she uses different phones or apps when he has blocked her in the past. Tell her he's moved on and no longer wants to keep in touch. Block every contact number / app she makes and whenever she makes them until she gives up. In an extreme case, tell her she's harassing him and he'll report to police if she doesn't stop. Plenty you can do when you don't want to hear from someone. What you don't do is unblock them... sorry I don't buy that excuse. Link to comment
notalady Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 OP I don't see the point of him telling you about or showing you her messages. What does that achieve? It's micromanaging and displays a lack of trust. It also gives the ex way more power in your relationship than she should have. What I would do however is communicate to him that you're uncomfortable with her continued efforts to contact him and rehash their relationship, suggest that since he doesn't want to keep in touch with her and doesn't reply, to just tell her he's moved on and she needs to stop, that she's harassing him, then block her every way he can, every new number or app she comes up with, block them too. If she doesn't stop, tell her he will report her to the police if she doesn't stop. Then leave him to deal with it. If he doesn't want to do that, I would really question if he's telling the truth because he's clearly getting something out of this, and/or whether he has really poor boundaries and can't stand up for himself. I would question if this is someone I would want to be in a relationship with. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 Personally, I'm friends with my ex as in we still hangout all the time and very close. Your insecure and you need to trust him. But don't you dare try to tell him not to be her friend anymore or to block her. That was a relationship he shared way before he met you and you came along. Just trust him and stay out of it Sorry if that's harsh but your being insecure I have to say strawberry darling you are in the minority ..... I would say 90% of the people on here and real life ( people I have met over the years ) all agree an ex is an ex and unless you have kids there is no reason to be seeing them .. ever .... I wouldn't be interested in anyone who thinks it is ok to be close to an ex ...not a chance and that is not insecurity .... an ex is an ex ...goodbye . Link to comment
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