Just trying to wrap my head around all this..

[Callmesteve0]

Ok so I'm going to try to make this as brief as possible. I've been dating this girl for the last 4 months and everything was going great up until about 5 days ago where I could just tell something was wrong and then she broke up with me out of nowhere. I'm 24 and she is 18 which I know is kind of a age gap but when I met her I didnt know that and was really just kind of swept off my feet by her she was like a breath of fresh air. I hadn't been in a relationship for about 3 years prior to this as I had a horrible relationship with my last ex who cheated on me with one of my best friends whom I worked with and then got together with him while I still had to work with him and try to be civil when I was screaming on the inside. She would come into see him and it was just torture. But after about a a year and a half we got back together I forgave her and we dated for six months, until she left me for another guy. I was so torn up but I knew I had to move on. So i was 20 at this point in the next 3-4 years I had flings with girls but would always leave when things started to get serious over fear of being hurt again.

 

Now, fast forward to this past June. I meet this girl who is 18 on a dating app, we start talking but I am reluctant to go further due to age. Eventually I say screw it and we start seeing each other, she comes to see me at work etc and I am really swept off my feet she was more mature then any girl i talked to in my life. She had also just gotten out of a relationship where she was cheated on and said she felt she could trust me when I told her about mine. She texts and wants to talk to me non stop and after about 2 months we had sex. It was amazing and I haven't felt a connection like that in so long.

 

Heres where the problem comes. A few weeks later she says she loves me and and asks what we are. I tell her I love her to and we start seriously dating. Problem is she lives with her mom who was previously in an abusive relationship and trusts her daughter with NOBODY. Except her previous ex but once he cheated on her she told me her mom said " if you could t trust him you can never trust any guy" and things like that. But regardless she kept seeing me and everything was amazing I could see this going very far. But I'll get to the point. 5 days ago we were hanging out and I was in a bad mood just due to wanting to have a better life. I'm going to school next September but I am very eager to start a career. She knew this but I could tell something was off. I asked if she was happy with me and she looked off and said yes. I thought it was odd but didn't say more. When I dropped her off she kissed me and said I love you before I even did. I text her about a half hour later saying sorry for my bad mood I just wanna be better for you and me both. She the. Replies saying she feels trapped with me, that she hasn't to focus on her future and that this isnt her to be sneaking around , etc. I was in utter shock especially since I made it clear I had no problem at all with her hanging with friends or doing schoolwork etc. I met a couple of her friends and they all love me they even messaged me saying I don't know why she is doing this you treat her so well and stuff like that. I tried to get her to meet and just talk but she just ignored me, occasionally replying but it really seemed like she just didn't care. She said it wasn't the same and she just wasn't as attracted to me and that she needed space. The thing is SHE was always the one cAlling me, texting

me saying I miss you if we didn't see each other for a day. If I didn't answer or come see her she would get mad and act down so I thought she wanted this?? I had no problem giving her space She also said she needs someone with their " together" but she knew I was working so hard and wanted to be better that's the only reason I was pissed off that day. Plus she is just going to school next year as well and even said it was nice to have someone like me to go through the experience with?? We may even end up at the same school. I kind of went off the deep end texting her like crazy, nothing rude just how much she means to me and I love her and stuff and that I just wanna be there for her and have no problem spending less time together or trying to work on being more positivite. I felt all our problems were fixable and it was something worth trying to save. She proceeded to tell me I'm crazy and pathetic and block my number. I am at a loss for words. I feel so used, like I was just her rebound, and after my previous relationships and waiting and waiting for the right person I thought I found her and she knew

All this.. it took me a long time

To recover before and I feel like it's starting all over. I am going NC and seeing where it goes from there but she is on my mind 24:7. Sorry for the long post there is just so much to say, I would just love to hear somebody's opinion. Thanks.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately she sounds too young and immature for you. Plus she is in high school living at home with her mother who has her eye out for her very young daughter. It's understandable she feels trapped if she doesn't want to "sneak around" to see you and things are going too fast for her.

 

Simply continue no contact and block her. It's only been 4 mos and although you were very infatuated you will find other girls who are a better fit.

4 months. Problem is she lives with her mom and trusts her daughter with NOBODY. 5 days ago we were hanging out and I was in a bad mood. Replies saying she feels trapped with me, that she hasn't to focus on her future and that this isnt her to be sneaking around , etc.

[Callmesteve0]

Unfortunately she sounds too young and immature for you. Plus she is in high school living at home with her mother who has her eye out for her very young daughter. It's understandable she feels trapped if she doesn't want to "sneak around" to see you and things are going too fast for her.

 

Simply continue no contact and block her. It's only been 4 mos and although you were very infatuated you will find other girls who are a better fit.

 

Yeah I know and I totally understand that's why I haven't been angry with her or said anything mean, more so just dont really know how else to express my pain. I'm just really hurt because honestly I literally knew this was going to happen but I chose to let myself get head over heels in love with her. I wanted to take things slow, she was the one moving them fast and I was afraid if I didn't do that to she would just find someone who would. She is a very smart beautiful girl and would have no problem getting any guy she wanted so I felt so lucky to have her . But your right and I totally get it, it just really hurts especially after my past relationships and really believing I'm had found the one. I guess I'm just stupid. I hope in the future she can see I was just hurting and we can try to work something out.

[femaleanomaly]

It's never stupid to try. You did your best, you did right by her, but it didn't work out. That's how it works sometimes. NC sounds like a great plan and I'm sure you will find someone who is a better fit for you in the future. In the mean time, focus on yourself. It sounds like you are ambitious and have a great school year and career to look forward to. Focus on that and learn from this experience.

[Callmesteve0]

Thank I really appriciate that. That's my plan is to just work on myself for a while. I feel like I'm back at square one again with relationships, it took me the last 3 years just to work up the trust to get into one after my last one. But if it's meant to be it will, I just needed somewhere to vent as most people look at me like I'm stupid for being this in love with a girl so much younger then me. But I really didn't feel there was an age difference atleast maturity wise we talked non stop for hours and had so much fun it was just a genuine connection regardless of social constraints and that's what I loved most about it I think. Anyways I'm rambling now but that's for your reply.