Is he being disrespectful? It's kind of long, but I need advice please

[summablairr]

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for several months. We've had constant issues throughout it. He likes to party and go out every weekend, while clubs are not my scene. He has a lot of female friends and hangs out with them at times. One time he stayed the night over at one of his friends house when he had to stay at work . I was upset then, because I didn't hear from him that whole day. He said he has female friends and it's nothing sexual going on with them, but in the back of my mind I didn't feel comfortable with it. there were instances when he's gone out and would post different things on snapchat. Like he went out with his co workers and one instance one of his co worker pulled her shirt down and showed her cleavage to him and he zoomed in and recorded it.

 

He said it wasn't a big deal because other people were there with them as a group and he didn't think nothing of it. He said he couldn't control what she did. Also, he went out one night and texted me the whole time, but posted videos of other girls twerking in the club and himself watching it like he was into it. He also went to a strip club with one of his female co workers that same night. I found out on snapchat. He was just in this bar setting and their naked women all over and he turned the camera towards his co worker...one of his female co worker who was watching everything. He said he didn't know it was strip club until he got there and only posted those things on snapchat to show his time out having fun. I was hurt and we argued constantly over it. He blocked me from snapchat and said I always have issues with him going out and he won't change. He said he's not doing anything wrong like getting numbers or trying to hook up with anyone.

 

He eventually added me back, but we had a huge blow up recently for the same thing. He has an hectic scheulde and has told me numerous of times that he won’t be able to see me most weekends because of work..which I understand, but I noticed he isn’t really working when he goes to his work events. I was upset one night because he went to an event for work, and practically wasn’t working..it looked like he was just there for fun. Which I don’t mind, but I don't like being lied to about it. I was really upset when I saw he and his co workers..the same females who pulled their shirt down to show their cleavage and went to a strip club with (he’s told me countless times how these women are wild and sleep around a lot ) and he went out with them. I ended up getting frustrated and argued withhim and he told me he’s permanently deleted me from snapchat and that he’s frustrated with me questioning him and having issues when he goes out.

My issue is I don't mind him going out. But its not like he’s out with his “boy’s” there’s other women and I don’t understand why I can’t be included at times.

 

I’ve been out with him 1 or 2 times before and it was fine, but he told me sometimes he just wants to be with his friends. He hangs out with a group of wild people.

 

Here’s something that made me question a lot about us. A classmate of one of my best friend happened to see him one day and she told my best friend that the guy that I’m dating is a hoe and not to trust him. It was an complete coincidence. She said a friend of hers knew him and used to talk to him. She said everything about him that I've said already about him and the concerns I had with him before. She knew a lot about himLike how he parties too muich for his age, he hangs out with a lot of women, and one co worker in particular. She didn’t go into to much details, but when I confronted him about it, he said the women were just jealous and tyring to break us up and he was ready to end things with me because I didn’t trust him . He said everything I’ve been concerned with showed how I didn’t trust him and he was tired of dealing with it. I broke down crying that night and ended up apologizing….becasue we are in love with each other. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m just over reacting to these things, being controlling or if he is doing wrong and disrespecting me? He’s also in his early 30s and I’m in my mid 20s he’s older than me and I just didn’t think I would deal with this with someone that age.

 

He told me that I attack him whenever he goes out and that I ruin his fun. He said I make him feel bad and that I make him feel like he's not good enough for me and not the "knight and shining armor" who I want him to be.

 

He is a great guy and can be really encouraging and loving to me. We do spend time with each other on the week days, but it's usually really late because of our schedules, and I don't really consider it as much of hanging out. But with everything I described does it sound like i'm in the wrong or he is?

[notalady]

He's not a great guy. He's hugely disrespectful and sleazy. Sounds like he's still living the single guy life style and I would leave him to it if I were you.

 

Everyone have friends of the opposite sex, but not like this, friendship has boundaries. I highly doubt these are just friends.

 

Anyway things should be peachy and smooth sailing at the start, when you're already having problems and fights after a mere few months, that's when you know it's not working and time to move on.

[Silverbirch]

If you want to get yourself completely messed up in the head, stay with this guy. I think you know the real truth about him, but its not nice.

[greta96]

Yes he is being extremely disrespectful. I am all for having friends outside of the relationship and spending time with them every now and then, but not this kind of friends and not doing the type of activities he is doing. He is blowing you off, and every time you try to stand up for yourself he is blocking you on his social media and making you out to be the bad guy. And it seems this is a pattern with him. You have everything you need to know about this guy right in front of you, now it's time you heed the warning signals and put an end to this.

[Andrina]

If being with this type of guy regularly leaves you upset, then he's not the right man for you. Choose a man you don't want to change. That's one of the secrets of relationship happiness.

[Wiseman2]

Have you talked about being exclusive? it sounds like you are very incompatible and he enjoys partying all night and doesn't want to answer to a relationship. It would be best to stop trying to change him or hoping that he'll change.

 

It's only a few mos. of dating, so it would be best to recognize these conflicts and incompatibilities and cut your losses. Go no contact and delete and block him form everything and move on to date more compatible guys who want an exclusive relationship.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for several months. He likes to party and go out every weekend

[Sportster2005]

His behavior is questionable, and you two simply aren't a match.

[Nkelly1313]

You deserve a guy that isn't going to constantly be flirting with other girls! Even if he says he means "nothing by it", his actions are speaking much louder than his words at this point. He makes you look like a fool when he posts things like that with his coworkers and thats not cool. If there are other positive aspects of your relationship at you can weigh into your decision they should be pretty outstanding. Genuinely ask yourself if the relationship is either helpful or hindering to your life. It really sucks when you love someone. Iv'e been there. In the end you have to decide what you will put up with and what is healthy for you.

[summablairr]

Have you talked about being exclusive? it sounds like you are very incompatible and he enjoys partying all night and doesn't want to answer to a relationship. It would be best to stop trying to change him or hoping that he'll change.

 

It's only a few mos. of dating, so it would be best to recognize these conflicts and incompatibilities and cut your losses. Go no contact and delete and block him form everything and move on to date more compatible guys who want an exclusive relationship.

 

 

Yes. We have made it exclusive a long time ago. Which is why I would get frustrated seeing him acting like he's single. He's told me before that he didn't want to casually date me and saw us as longterm. He went out one night and came see me afterwards at like 3 in the morning. When He got a text message, I made a comment like "why is someone texting you this late," and he said well I went out and told everyone to text me when they were home. He seemed agitated. and when I tried to play it off or make a joke about it, I just said "oh I was just messing with you." and he "no you wasn't . " and he seemed so stand offish and said he was tired of me always questioning him. He's deleted me from snapchat so it's not like i can see what he does when he does go out.

[Wiseman2]

Why do you let him come over for booty call at that hour after he's been out with "a group of wild women"? Your relationship sounds far from "exclusive".

He went out one night and came see me afterwards at like 3 in the morning. He's deleted me from snapchat so it's not like i can see what he does when he does go out.