We were talking multiple times a day & now he's gone quiet

[soimetaguy]

So, I met this guy on an anonymous chat app almost 2 weeks ago, the weekend of October 15/16. This app is ... adult in nature & we both agreed we didn't want to share our real names / photos / etc. We "had fun" all weekend and it progressed to Snapchat - I created a fake account solely to talk to him on there. I would wake up in the morning to a message from him, we'd have some fun at some point during the day, and usually again later at night. This was pretty steady until last Friday, so basically about a week. We even progressed to Snapchat audio calls, and showed each other partial shots of our faces. Nothing unusual happened, we kept talking and having fun, and then this week I only started hearing from him about once a day, usually to apologize for missing me the night before.. But like I said, nothing had happened to change our original "relationship." Anyway, 2 nights ago I got really fed up and logged onto the original chat app we met on under another different name - he was logged in and I said hello to him, we chatted for a couple of minutes and he sent me a photo of his face. I logged out & switched to my original name but I didn't realize the app would tell him it was still me. So he blocked me on the original app. I snapchat messaged him and apologized, told him that things have been rough with me lately & i just really enjoyed our "adult fun" time together and wanted to tell him who i really was. He was fine with that, I told him my name & even switched our convo over to my real Snapchat account. We had fun that night, but he didn't want to audio chat which is odd because it was him who originally would ask for it. I as usual sent the last communication that night and he wrote back in the morning. I responded to him telling him I had a quick question for him, he wrote back a couple of hours later asking what, I sent him the question last night. I saw he opened the snap this morning and didn't respond, for the first time ever. So i wrote back & asked him my question, just about something we had discussed and if he had some time this weekend. He hasn't wrote back yet. Now that he knows my real name I don't want to seem too desperate but I am so attracted to this guy & just want things to go back to what they were when we first met, fun and that's it, nothing serious, no commitment.

 

Any advice? I know this is a really odd situation but I literally cannot get this guy out of my mind and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to turn him off or scare him away any more but I just cant seem to let this go.

[reinventmyself]

You are trying to pin down a guy who sexted you on an anonymous chat?

What would be the point of being anonymous if someone wanted you to be accountable?

He's blocked you and is not responsive.

Take it for what it is next time. Just fleeting non committal fun.

It's safe to say you have scared him off already.

[soimetaguy]

We have since talked on Snapchat though. I'm just not sure what it is i did that scared him off? If he was reaching out to me constantly, why is it different when I do the same with him?

[Wiseman2]

This was just adult anonymous sex chat not a relationship, no less exclusive. It's also not a dating app intended to meet real life real people to date.

 

It sounds like he's looking to keep things on the sex chat level and is avoiding building any type of connection or relationship. The entire purpose of this site is the thrill of anonymous sex chat so he probably moved on to find more of that since this got too personal.

he was logged in and I said hello to him, we chatted for a couple of minutes and he sent me a photo of his face. i wrote back & asked him my question, just about something we had discussed and if he had some time this weekend. He hasn't wrote back yet. Now that he knows my real name I don't want to seem too desperate but I am so attracted to this guy & just want things to go back to what they were when we first met, fun and that's it, nothing serious, no commitment.

[reinventmyself]

We have since talked on Snapchat though. I'm just not sure what it is i did that scared him off? If he was reaching out to me constantly, why is it different when I do the same with him?

 

Because you changed the rules on him with out his consent when you created a fake profile to catch him

He feels set up and you've apparently become attached to him and he senses this.

This is not what he signed up for.

[soimetaguy]

This was just adult anonymous sex chat not a relationship, no less exclusive. It's also not a dating app intended to meet real life real people to date.

 

It sounds like he's looking to keep things on the sex chat level and is avoiding building any type of connection or relationship. The entire purpose of this site is the thrill of anonymous sex chat so he probably moved on to find more of that since this got too personal.

 

i get all of that, i've done this before with other people & moved on within hours. My question is though, he was so constant and i would always hear from him, so why then when I did the same did he stop?

[reinventmyself]

i get all of that, i've done this before with other people & moved on within hours. My question is though, he was so constant and i would always hear from him, so why then when I did the same did he stop?

 

He's not other people

[soimetaguy]

Because you changed the rules on him with out his consent when you created a fake profile to catch him

He feels set up and you've apparently become attached to him and he senses this.

This is not what he signed up for.

 

I understand that, and that makes sense- but I created the other profile AFTER he stopped being so responsive. That's why I'm confused. Nothing had happened to change our situation when he suddenly went quiet.

[soimetaguy]

He's not other people

 

LOL I know, and I appreciate all of your advice. What I mean was I've easily moved on from other people on this app, I'm not comparing him to how others behaved but how I behaved.

[soimetaguy]

ETA: He has also been viewing my personal Snapchat story as of last night.

[reinventmyself]

I understand that, and that makes sense- but I created the other profile AFTER he stopped being so responsive. That's why I'm confused. Nothing had happened to change our situation when he suddenly went quiet.

Depending on how you look at it, he really didn't go quiet.

Instead he wanted to remain anonymous (on an anonymous adult site)

[j.man]

ETA: He has also been viewing my personal Snapchat story as of last night.

This changes everything. I'd expect flowers to be delivered to your home tomorrow.

[soimetaguy]

Depending on how you look at it, he really didn't go quiet.

Instead he wanted to remain anonymous (on an anonymous adult site)

 

Totally, and I am not trying to get him to reveal himself at all. I just don't understand what happened to what we had going on

[soimetaguy]

This changes everything. I'd expect flowers to be delivered to your home tomorrow.

 

LOL no I know it means basically nothing, I'm just saying he's still engaging, somewhat.

[soimetaguy]

ETA: with the limited info he gave me, I was able to find out who he is, which he obviously has no way of knowing. He has a relatively public profile - would it hurt me even more to tell him I know this?

[reinventmyself]

ETA: with the limited info he gave me, I was able to find out who he is, which he obviously has no way of knowing. He has a relatively public profile - would it hurt me even more to tell him I know this?

 

OH. . .I have put the question back to you.

DO you think this would hurt or help your case?

[soimetaguy]

OH. . .I have put the question back to you.

DO you think this would hurt or help your case?

 

Honestly, I'm unsure. He's not a celeb or anyone who I would have been seeking out. It's just his career that his public.

 

Your thoughts?

[reinventmyself]

I think you are probably the type of woman these guys fear the most when they think they are being anonymously naughty.

 

you asked. . .

[Wiseman2]

You tricked him with a fake profile and you got needy/clingy/attached with that question. Those are game changers

Nothing had happened to change our situation when he suddenly went quiet.

[soimetaguy]

Thanks. I know you're right, just don't like it

 

When we first met, he said his name is Bob. Later on he told me it was really John (both fake btw) and he also told me his real age & location so it's not like he wasn't being a little forthcoming himself. Still a no to telling him? I think that's what's making this harder. I am more attracted to him knowing more about him.

[soimetaguy]

You tricked him with a fake profile and you got needy/clingy/attached with that question. Those are game changers

 

Yes, I did - but this was AFTER he went quiet. The last question I asked him was about lingerie. Nothing personal.

[Jibralta]

Now that he knows my real name I don't want to seem too desperate but I am so attracted to this guy & just want things to go back to what they were when we first met, fun and that's it, nothing serious, no commitment.

 

"Nothing serious, no commitment" means that when things change (as they are now), you don't long for them to go back the way they used to be. The "no commitment" part pretty much guarantees that things were temporary. Enjoy what you had together, and don't spend too much time in the "serious" pursuit of dwelling on the past.

[j.man]

Honestly, I'm unsure. He's not a celeb or anyone who I would have been seeking out. It's just his career that his public.

 

Your thoughts?

Dude the answer's no, it wouldn't help you. What do you think he'd say? "Gurl, before when I stopped talking to you and was hoping you'd get the hint that I'd squeezed a couple out and was done, I was a fool. Now that you've cyber stalked me, I can see I just had my walls out, trying to deny a love that was right there on my screen the entire time."

 

Then you guys progress even further, to facebook. And that's practically like marriage.

 

It might do you better to channel your energy away from the app for a little while.

[reinventmyself]

You're scaring me now.

 

I think you should let this poor guy go about his business and move on.

 

I guess it's the risk you take, getting snared into something like this. lol

 

For all we know he's a politician with a wife and 5 kids.

[Jibralta]

We have since talked on Snapchat though. I'm just not sure what it is i did that scared him off? If he was reaching out to me constantly, why is it different when I do the same with him?

 

Not necessarily anything you did. Sometimes it's a one-way street.