Malloribaker Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 I feel like a idiot. Would it be out of line for me to tell my boyfriend this is what I want ???? And then let him know that if he doesnt do it then im gone. Or is there a certain way to do this. Im so sad i just hope im wrong. Im not sure what to do any advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmund Exley Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Dont give ultimatums. Speak to him about your needs, and if they are reasonable and not met, then you simply end it. No need for threats. People rarely respond well to threats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 I agree with Edmund. Giving someone an ultimatum is not the right way to go about things. They have a tendency to backfire. You need to talk to your bf and tell him how you feel. If your feelings are justified and if he cares for you, he will take on board what you have said and work with you to make things better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Allow me to return your ambiguity. "It depends." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 How is he using you? How long have you been dating and what is it you want? An exclusive relationship? No one can use you if you don't let them. Are you afraid he's stringing you along?Would it be out of line for me to tell my boyfriend this is what I want ???? And then let him know that if he doesnt do it then im gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minigirl1997 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Girl I'm telling you right now I just got in your situation. The guy I was with did not understan me and he was in fact using me so yes do it! Tell him and if he can't agree with you than leave him. I am now pregnant by my ex and he has possibly three other girls pregnant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Girl I'm telling you right now I just got in your situation. The guy I was with did not understan me and he was in fact using me so yes do it! Tell him and if he can't agree with you than leave him. I am now pregnant by my ex and he has possibly three other girls pregnantUhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... the guy were with cheated on you (and with women in your own car at that), currently has gotten three women simultaneously pregnant, has had you bail him out of jail once, is now back in, and asking you to bail him out again. I have no idea how in the world you're interpreting the most vague two-lined paragraph I've seen on these forums to be an emulation of your situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
femaleanomaly Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 You are entitled to tell your boyfriend what you want in the relationship but ultimatums are definitely not the best way to go about it. Remember that the only person that can allow someone to step over your boundaries is you. If you feel that there are circumstances in your relationship that he is taking advantage of then it's up to you to address them as they're happening. Throwing all of the boundaries he's ever crossed in your relationship in his face all at once and saying if he does it again you will leave is not going to go over well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanzi Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Girl I'm telling you right now I just got in your situation. The guy I was with did not understan me and he was in fact using me so yes do it! Tell him and if he can't agree with you than leave him. I am now pregnant by my ex and he has possibly three other girls pregnant Your situation doesn't sound comparable to the OP's in the slightest. That's not to say he isn't using her but without knowing anything about the OP's situation we can't make that judgement. Suggesting an ultimatum could well backfire on her. It could be the that the OP is reading things wrong. However, without any details we just don't know. Quite frankly, if he IS using her then no ultimatums are necessary, it would be time to leave the relationship. If he doesn't care for her then he won't care for ultimatums. However, if there is a chance that the OP is reading things wrong then her best course of action would be to sit down and talk to him. Wading in with an ultimatum instead of talking maturely could ruin things. My personal opinion is that if a relationship has reached a point where ultimatums are necessary, then there is no relationship at all. So either the OP wants to try to understand the situation better or leave it. That call is on her because WE have nothing to go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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