pink soda Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 I started dating this guy who is about 8 years older than me a couple of months ago. There was an attraction between us prior to him asking me out. At first he was full on lovey-dovey with me and said all the right things. Apart from the fact that on the first week of knowing him, he sent me a picture of his 'private part' and I never asked him to. That same week he would sext me a few times. The first couple of times he was sexual and wanted to go down on me but I refused. He would want to drive me anywhere, take me out etc. A week later he changed completely. He told me how he wants to marry me and how we shouldn't do anything that I don't want to. He stopped saying anything sexual and he doesn't want us to meet in areas where we might be tempted to do something we would both regret. It's to the extent that if he types 'I would love to carry you and hug you all day', he would follow that up with ' I mean it in the I miss you sense and not sexual at all'. He also said that he would like to be with me for the rest of my life and if he was looking for a fling and to just sleep around he wouldn't have bothered with me and would have just found someone else. Why did he suddenly change? He was full blown sexual and attracted at first and now this? At first I thought he was a player and wanted to break up with him,but now I don't know anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 He saw that his sexual advances weren't working so now he's trying a new tactic and trying to entice you through your emotions. I would seriously question this guy, there is red flags all over the place. And yes, his main objective is sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
East4 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Agree with previous poster. He changed the tactics, but his goal remains the same-sleep with you. Do not believe this marriage mumbo-jumbo. He knows women normally want commitment/marriage, so he is sweet talking you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edmund Exley Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 He wants to marry you? RED FLAG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 I don't know that he's a player - I would think someone out to actually manipulate or deceive you wouldn't behave in such a transparent way. Once you were fine with the sexting and the photo, you gave him the green light to pursue you in mostly a sexual way. Watch the actions, not the words -the feet not the lips. Ask yourself why you're so taken with sweet words from someone you barely know. What else do you have going on in your life that is interesting or intriguing? I would stop seeing him and reevaluate your standards of who gets the opportunity to date you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greta96 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Players are supposed to be clever and smooth. He is none of that, he is just your run-of-the-mill guy who keeps trolling for sex here and there hoping something would materialize at some point, and saying whatever he thinks you may want to hear to help speed up the process. I'm not sure why you are confused, any guy who sends you a picture of his penis within the first week of 'meeting' online and tells you he wants to marry you the second week should be dismissed right away and blocked. Glaring red flags that shouldn't be overlooked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 ....he is not a player.....he is a creep..... When he sent you a pic of his privates, you really should have had the sense to cut him off right there and then. But since you didn't, you showed him that you are a bit fuzzy on boundaries and what is right and wrong, aka he can push you around. Since raunchy blatant come ons weren't working, within a week he changed his tactics to telling you what women want to hear - marriage. Except that two weeks in, that's not real talk, that psycho talk. Or rather he is hoping you are stupid enough to buy into that. There is so much wrong with this situation, please please have the sense to run away screaming and be sure he doesn't know how to find you again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 How old is he? Are you under 18? It sounds like he changed his tactic to get in your pants from overt sexual messages to lies about wanting to marry you, etc. he sent me a picture of his 'private part' . He told me how he wants to marry me and how we shouldn't do anything that I don't want to. He stopped saying anything sexual and he doesn't want us to meet in areas where we might be tempted to do something we would both regret Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hermes Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Precisely. "....he is not a player.....he is a creep....." and quite possibly somewhat deranged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foolish1985 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 The worst kind of a player this guy. The mindless straightforward and easy-to-read one. I had a friend that was dealing with a person like this, but instead of marriage, he was telling her how he wants a serious relationship. 8 hours after meeting her. He was explaining how women want him for his looks and he wants commitment. Etc, etc. He did not get what he wanted, since she did not know how to react, so he started manipulating her by withdrawing his attention and making her chase him and fight for it. I told her to run away, but knew that she will find excuses for his behavior. At the end, she did sleep with him and shortly after found out that he had been seeing another girl in the mean time. So yeah. If you want sex from that guy, just stop delaying it and do it. If you are not that type of person - walk away since this is all he wants at that time. Even if you are a great person, he ignores everything yo do while proceeding with his plan to take you to bed. Like a hound following a mechanical rabbit on a race track. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 ....he is not a player.....he is a creep..... When he sent you a pic of his privates, you really should have had the sense to cut him off right there and then. But since you didn't, you showed him that you are a bit fuzzy on boundaries and what is right and wrong, aka he can push you around. Since raunchy blatant come ons weren't working, within a week he changed his tactics to telling you what women want to hear - marriage. Except that two weeks in, that's not real talk, that psycho talk. Or rather he is hoping you are stupid enough to buy into that. There is so much wrong with this situation, please please have the sense to run away screaming and be sure he doesn't know how to find you again. ^This! A "cut and paste it to your fridge" this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
qwaspolk82 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 I started dating this guy who is about 8 years older than me a couple of months ago. There was an attraction between us prior to him asking me out. At first he was full on lovey-dovey with me and said all the right things. Apart from the fact that on the first week of knowing him, he sent me a picture of his 'private part' and I never asked him to. That same week he would sext me a few times. The first couple of times he was sexual and wanted to go down on me but I refused. He would want to drive me anywhere, take me out etc. A week later he changed completely. He told me how he wants to marry me and how we shouldn't do anything that I don't want to. He stopped saying anything sexual and he doesn't want us to meet in areas where we might be tempted to do something we would both regret. It's to the extent that if he types 'I would love to carry you and hug you all day', he would follow that up with ' I mean it in the I miss you sense and not sexual at all'. He also said that he would like to be with me for the rest of my life and if he was looking for a fling and to just sleep around he wouldn't have bothered with me and would have just found someone else. Why did he suddenly change? He was full blown sexual and attracted at first and now this? At first I thought he was a player and wanted to break up with him,but now I don't know anymore. Oh he's playing you. Big time. If some guy I barely knew sent me a d*** pic I'd stop talking to him. Especially in the first week I met him? No way. That's weird and creepy. If you only know someone a week and you send them nude pictures that's crazy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j.man Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 If this all actually works on you, he's not a pro. You'd be an amateur. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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