I know he lied.

[cookie86]

So my BF of 1 year has been lying to me about being in contact with his ex.

I found out on fb that he recently reached out to her as she tagged him in a post saying thank you for getting back in touch. Occasionally I see the messenger come up on his phone, there is a message from her, and today she actually phoned him, I knew it was her because I saw her name on the caller ID. Now by the way my BF has told me nothing about being in contact with her, but when she called I had to ask. So I asked him who that was, he just said a friend, I tried to get a bit more out of him but he wouldn't tell me more than that. He flat out lied to me and I know it.

My BF doesn't seem like the type of guy to go sleeping around with other girls, but I feel in my mind he is already cheating on me with being in contact with her and not being honest.

Am I being paranoid or is his dishonesty something I should really be worried about?

[Wiseman2]

How long have they been broken up? Do you think they remained friends? Do you think it's related to the sexual problem you were having?

So my BF of 1 year has been lying to me about being in contact with his ex.

 

I started dating this really great guy almost a month ago.There is just one problem, our sex life is pretty much non existent, because he can't maintain an erection, and this is putting a huge strain on our relationship.

[j.man]

"Cheating" sounds a bit hyperbolic. I think it's a red flag, something to be be aware of, but I don't know their history, if they'd been friends before their relationship, how long it lasted, if they just want to have a catch up conversation, why he reached out (maybe something tragic happened in her life), etc. While it's not necessarily forthcoming, she would just be a "friend" at this point, given they're no longer together. There's no lie there. It could have less to do with deception than him not wanting to needlessly worry you when all the call was meant to be was a one-off catch-up conversation.

 

How do you know she's his ex anyhow?

[moodindigo91]

My BF doesn't seem like the type of guy to go sleeping around with other girls

 

You sure about that? lol

 

I mean, it may just be that he and his ex are becoming friends. I'm friends with my ex from a while ago, but when we first became friends again, I didn't tell my then-boyfriend because my then-boyfriend was a crazy jealous type and I knew he'd get upset and try to demand that I not be friends with my ex. It could be something like that, which to me makes sense seeing as you're already suspicious and posting in a forum about it. He might just be worried about your reaction to it, and he has good reason to be. I wouldn't say that he lied to you, but he did withhold information.

 

I'd just try to talk to him about it in a calm manner. Don't go accusing him of things or saying "I know you lied to me." Next time she calls him or you see her message pop up, just say "Honey, I know that's your ex, I'm okay with you guys being friends, I just don't want you to hide it from me" see what he does. If he gets defensive when you ask him about it in a calm manner, then there's probably something wrong.

[Jabt]

Honey, he's an arse. As hard as this might be might be to read your so called boyfriend is taking you for a ride.

 

You know in your heart of hearts he's a liar so why would you allow yourself to continue with this relationship when you're clearly worth so much more.

 

I always take a step back and ask myself "what would I tell my friend to do if they were in this situation"? Then I listen to my answer and go with it.

 

You're a queen, do not allow yourself to be manipulated by this manboy.

 

Many hugs and sympathetic ears coming your way xxx

[mz11]

I think you should be careful about his friend and probably tell him your concerns so that he may confort you or admit that It's his ex girlfriend. But don't take it as a fact that he lied just yet. You do have to listen to your intuition, but for now just keep your eyes open and trust him enough until he actually deceives you.