Why would an ex who ended things with you get jealous?

[stormie]

My best friend who was involved in a same sex relationship with another woman got dumped by her partner. The partner cited reasons like she isn't interested in pursuing a serious relationship, etc.

 

Needless to say, although my friend was hurt, she moved on, is seeing other people,etc.

 

This past Saturday, about almost a year later, my friend and I both went to a party and her ex was there. All was fine but then I felt very uncomfortable when the ex approached me and asked me if I'm trying to make her jealous by going to the party with my friend

and then by dancing with her. (Mind you, I have a boyfriend!). I answered no, that she is my best friend and that I wish the two of them would've stayed together. But the ex was upset at me - no matter what I said.

 

I winded up feeling so uncomfortable that I left alone after a couple of hours.

 

So why would she ask me that question if she's the one who dumped my best friend??! Why would she even care after a year?

[Wiseman2]

Ego. Her brassiness approaching you and thinking that the two of you conspired a yr later to attend this party for the sole purpose of "making her jealous" shows an incredible amount of self absorption and insecurity.

my friend and I both went to a party and her ex was there. All was fine but then I felt very uncomfortable when the ex approached me and asked me if I'm trying to make her jealous by going to the party with my friend

[reinventmyself]

I can't help but think if someone ends a relationship they might have good reason

They were disappointed in something, their needs weren't met, the other person did something to violate their trust?

I don't know.

But walking away in self preservation to find out you've been easily replaced can spark some intense feelings, even jealousy in the one who chose to leave.

[ParisPaulette]

Because possessiveness and love are not the same thing. Jealousy isn't always triggered by love, especially not in emotionally unhealthy individuals who tend to see others as possessions or people as commodities rather than living, breathing humans with free will. Plus some exes just hate feeling like they've been one-upped, because they left the relationship and then their partner looks like they're having a better time and is moving on or has someone new before they do OR during a time they aren't doing so well.

 

I take this incident not so much to be jealousy as it is "How dare you be happy when I'm not right now!" It is a very "It's all about me, yes all about meeeee" kind of mindset.

 

There's nothing logical about it. Some people really don't like evidence that the world doesn't revolve around them all the time and if they think they don't have exes still pining for them they can become butt hurt even years later when they think they haven't remained in the other person's heart to the point that no one else exists for them.