Is she playing games ?

[Guyalone]

Hi,

 

I'm a 35 years old man separated for the last 3 years. I have been living an isolated life since my separation and have not been with any woman. My marriage broke because I was away away from country for a while and discovered that my spouse was cheating on me during that timw.

 

Recently I was contacted by a school junior on fb. She is 6 years younger than me and we interacted after almost 17 years. Surprisingly she too is separated because of the same reason and is a single mom. We spoke/chat couple of times and then there was a silence for 2 months. Last week she texted me saying she needs to talk to me and will call me. She called me poured her heart out that she is feeling miserable and helpless as she has no marriage and she has a kid to take care of. I counselled her for 2-3 days and she admitted she felt much better. She also said we should meet. (We live in diff states in India). We spoke for 3 consecutive nights till 1.30 am. It was difficult for her to get up in the morning and go to job and I acknowledged the problem. Fourth day she went to sleep without even messaging me at night. I was expecting a 2 min call atleast. Fifth day she messaged at 10.30 pm that she has a male friend at her place for dinner and will text me after dropping him home in her car. She DID NOT. Next morning she sent a text saying sorry i could not. I FELT BAD.

 

I asked myself why did she avoid me on 2 consecutive days ? Was it intentional because now she is taking me for granted because I gave her a lot of time for 3 days at a stretch ? Is there something going on between her and this guest ? I started avoiding her and would reply to her texts late in the day time and not call her. She called me know if all is okay as she thinks I am angry. I said ya all okay and the call ended. She never texted again or called.

 

I started enjoying her company as I was talking to a woman after 3 years and we were in the same boat. I wanted this to continue for long. But I need to know why she avoided me for 2 nights and what happened that evening because of which she did not get back to me after dropping him ? Does she already have him in her life ? Did she take me for granted cause I gave her too much attention for 3 days ?

 

How do I discover the truth so that I go ahead accordingly ?

 

Seeking sensible and mature advice. Thank you !

[Wiseman2]

How long must you be separated before being able to file for divorce? Does she still live with her husband?

 

If she is reaching out to all sorts of guys to complain about her unhappy marriage it sounds like a red flag. It may be best to cut off all contact with her and pursue local available women.

I'm a 35 years old man separated for the last 3 years. poured her heart out that she is feeling miserable and helpless as she has no marriage and she has a kid to take care of. She also said we should meet. Fifth day she messaged at 10.30 pm that she has a male friend at her place for dinner.

[Jibralta]

I asked myself why did she avoid me on 2 consecutive days ? Was it intentional because now she is taking me for granted because I gave her a lot of time for 3 days at a stretch ? Is there something going on between her and this guest ? I started avoiding her and would reply to her texts late in the day time and not call her. She called me know if all is okay as she thinks I am angry. I said ya all okay and the call ended. She never texted again or called.

 

I started enjoying her company as I was talking to a woman after 3 years and we were in the same boat. I wanted this to continue for long. But I need to know why she avoided me for 2 nights and what happened that evening because of which she did not get back to me after dropping him ? Does she already have him in her life ? Did she take me for granted cause I gave her too much attention for 3 days ?

 

 

The best thing to do would have been to ask her. Other people, yourself included, can only guess based on our own attitudes and experiences.

 

Unfortunately, you reacted to unfounded suspicions. Now you are in a situation where there is total confusion and misunderstanding.

 

If you're serious about having a relationship, don't play these games. Be direct about what you want, and ask the other person to explain themselves when you need an explanation. Otherwise, you're going to be jumping at shadows.

[Gary Snyder]

I would not take LDr's and text seriously. Find a local woman you can really date.