The awful period between being together and breaking up.

[silently]

A comment one of my friends recently made about relationships made me realize something:

Most relationships don't end so easily. It's never like one day everything is fine and then the next you realize you don't want to be together and you end it right there...it always has to go through this really long horrible period where the both of you subconsciously know things aren't working but neither of you want to admit it.

 

Even though breaking up is painful, I don't think anything is as painful as that period between being together and breaking up. For me it lasted a few months and I felt so on edge, so unhappy, anxious, sad, and confused all the time...it's like you're just waiting for the day when it ends and it makes you feel so dreadful. Maybe that's just my case, because I had wanted to break up for awhile but I felt like I couldn't when he was in such a bad state, and told me he needed me and that I was the only thing in his life that made him happy. I felt responsible for his well-being. It was a bad position to be in. I basically just had to wait for him to end things because I knew I couldn't and I didn't know what to do especially when I was still so in love and it felt wrong to be thinking about ending something with someone I love.

 

I tried so hard to make it work, I wanted to be with him so bad, but he wasn't making it easy. I spent many nights up late crying because I felt so bad for wanting to leave him when the reason for him not being around wasn't his fault. I still loved him... but the thing is, love doesn't always equal happiness...and even though it's been tough for me dealing with this break up, especially with how things ended between us, I'd take slowly getting better over staying in a relationship that just makes me feel worse and worse each day. I'd take giving myself a second chance with someone who will give me the love I deserve over staying with someone who's struggling too much with themselves to give love to anyone else.

 

I'm telling you, you'll be way happier in the long run if you just end it as soon as you realize you've tried everything and it's not working anymore. You are not responsible for others well being for the expense of your own, don't put yourself through months of pain when you don't need to. Of course, it's easier said than done...I stayed in the relationship probably 4-5 months longer than I should have, but the few amazing moments we had made me want to hold on. In reality, we should have ended it the first time we broke up...but it's so hard to leave someone you're in love with. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

[Michele32]

Very well said and inspirational thank you!

[TimelyKate]

Very true.

[limichelle]

You summed up what happened with my last relationship really well. Thank you for your inspiration!

 

It gets better and then you find someone who is better suited!

 

Lisa

[Wolfshook]

Exactly (though I was dumpee),I knew for the last few months it was going to end. It just didnt feel right and I didn't want to acknowledge it. And in a way my ego was more hurt than my emotions actually. That's the reason I'm kind of scared of relationships right now,because I have that period in my head.

[denzie0321]

This is so true.. Memories are the only thing we thought we could make it to hold on more. But no matter how much you both tried to make it work, when everything seems falling after few months it will surely end.. Me, i am almost there in being healed.. I hope soon i will totally be healed from the painful experience.

[emptyeffort]

at the time you cant admit or see it. but looking back i have to say.. i know exactly when the relationship was doomed to end. and it was 2 weeks prior to the break up. for me personally it wasnt as bad as the break up tho. it was really bad never the less.