bumblebeehive Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 i signed up for Bumble. Not used to making "the first move" on a guy. Any advice as to what to say in the first message? I started a couple chats but with something lame like "hello" lol. all the conversations have fizzled away. A couple "matches" unmatched me too... one of them was today after i asked what the guy was studying because it said he was a grad student. It makes me feel bad, like i am so ugly that he can't even stand to just NOT respond? you have to take the extra step of unmatching me too? (possibly blocking, who knows, all i know is that the chat disappeared). Why match me in the first place? So that really is a downer. makes it more difficult for me to initiate another chat. Should i just get tinder instead and let the guys initiate? that way i will know if they are interested for real? Another guy did respond, for some odd reason, just answered the questions and did not reciprocate so i could pick up on it seemed he wasn't too interested. i think he also responded to one question with "uuuum.." and then answered. as if it was a really out of line or out of the ordinary question. Then like a couple minutes later he sent another message saying "well nice chat!" ok, so what is the point of that? just don't respond if you aren't interested. i almost prefer the guy who unmatched me immediately. I want to go on a date. not have a bunch of lame conversations that fizzle. any advice would be much appreciated. i am feeling ugly since signing up for this, maybe I am. I thought it was supposed to be super easy to get dates on these apps. oh here's another amusing one.... one guy i swiped right because i was on the fence, i wasn't THAT into him but i wasn't sure. and we matched. And then he like "extended" the clock or whatever, when i hadn't yet messaged him. so because he did that, if felt obligated to say hello. we message a couple intro things , and then he's like, he wanted to be BFFs and i was like ok, that's weird, so i felt ok unmatching him. he seemed like a weirdo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 I haven't had a great deal of luck with bumble either. And I think a lot of the profiles on there are fake. I'll try it for a few more weeks then give up. One of my good friends who is on Bumble also has had a similar experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt3939 Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 I donno about bumble. What I do know is there is a difference in genders when it comes to OLD in general. I know when I do it I can send out 50 hello's. I'll be lucky to get someone to talk back. If you are a woman at least you do get more respones. Hay if it fizzles out at least you weeded some out. I know when I started out id read the profiles and actually write something. Then you get fed up and just start saying hi lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Darcy Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 Try to meet guys in real life. That's my advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Use a sort of template of compliment-something about yourself-question. For example. Hi screenname that photo of you by the lake is really great. I go camping next to a lake every year myself and hike all the time. Where was that pic taken? Once you get a response elaborate from there, then eventually suggest an interest in meeting.Any advice as to what to say in the first message? I started a couple chats but with something lame like "hello" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumblebeehive Posted October 22, 2016 Author Share Posted October 22, 2016 Use a sort of template of compliment-something about yourself-question. For example. Hi screenname that photo of you by the lake is really great. I go camping next to a lake every year myself and hike all the time. Where was that pic taken? Once you get a response elaborate from there, then eventually suggest an interest in meeting. so this is why i deleted the app. i was just initiating convos, expecting the guy to then revert to the normal role of asking the girl out. i would never have "suggested an interest in meeting" lol. the only guys i have gone out from online are ones who suggested we meet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumblebeehive Posted October 22, 2016 Author Share Posted October 22, 2016 good idea.... ;-) Try to meet guys in real life. That's my advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 How successful has this approach been so far? i would never have "suggested an interest in meeting" lol. the only guys i have gone out from online are ones who suggested we meet... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 I liked Bumble when it first came out; no longer. In any event: Think of yourself as CHOOSING, not as waiting to get chosen. It will change how you feel about being on line. Think of men as people. Actual humans. What makes someone want to talk to you? The sense that you are attentive to who they are. Everyone wants to be seen as an individual, to connect in a way that they feel "You get me". Keep your messages short. Always. And be aware that people will create fake personas. Who knows why. Remember that on line, everyone is a stranger, a persona, a curated image of themselves. Do not think of anyone as a friend or similar until you meet in person. If anyone brings up sex or anything sexual, end the message exchange, unmatch, and move on. Go slowly. This takes practice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katrina1980 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 And be aware that people will create fake personas. Who knows why. Remember that on line, everyone is a stranger, a persona, a curated image of themselves. Do not think of anyone as a friend or similar until you meet in person. Amen! (ten characters) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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