jessiejl Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Last night I hung out with my ex (which was probably a stupid idea). We have been talking more often and since I got comfortable with us talking again, and he had been asking to see my new place, I invited him over to hang out for a little. He has been the one initiating contact and at first I thought maybe he’s testing the waters. Well he came over and we talked for probably two hours. He brought up some good times in our relationship and we joked around like we used to do. It felt good to see him. He then randomly asked “so how’s your love life?” to which I replied it was non-existent. He said his was too and then we kind of just dropped the topic. He left and then texted me later saying it was really great to see me. I got over the initial pain of the breakup but since we’ve been talking frequently and seeing him last night just stirred up old feelings. I don’t know if I should come out and just ask him what he’s after or should I wait and see what he’s thinking, like if he’s wanting to get back together? If he does I do want him back but I’m worried if I ask him about it too soon it’ll scare him off. Do guys normally take their time with getting their ex back? He's the one who broke up with me because he said at the time he didn't have strong feelings for me and he felt that he should at that point in our relationship. We dated for 4 months. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 If it's possible it's friendship he's after and it makes you uncomfortable and you'd rather not be his friend, then it would be appropriate to ask him what his intentions are. Don't ask him if you are getting back together. He broke it, he needs to be the one to fix it. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Unfortunately if he wanted to reconcile you would know without a doubt. He's on Tinder. When things are nebulous like this the reason is to string you along for sex without getting back together. It was only 4 mos of dating and already he's pulling this. You need to go no contact and block him so you don't get sucked in and hurt againI hung out with my ex. I got over the initial pain of the breakup but since we’ve been talking frequently and seeing him last night just stirred up old feelings....same guy? Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn't let him back into my life nor would I participate in any small talk, visits etc, unless he makes it clear that he wants to get back together. Otherwise, he's inching his way back in at his own leisure, and will likely make a repeat exit after his needs are met. You're selling yourself short, and the odds are against you with this approach. Respect yourself... Link to comment
jessiejl Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 Yeah it's the same guy. I caved and let him come over. He didn't seem to want to get physical or even mentioned anything about our sex life or hinting that's what he wanted. I probably should just block him but it's been so hard letting go Link to comment
jessiejl Posted October 17, 2016 Author Share Posted October 17, 2016 I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn't let him back into my life nor would I participate in any small talk, visits etc, unless he makes it clear that he wants to get back together. Otherwise, he's inching his way back in at his own leisure, and will likely make a repeat exit after his needs are met. You're selling yourself short, and the odds are against you with this approach. Respect yourself... Some of my friends are saying he's probably taking it slow because it's been 2 months since we broke up and he's prideful, so he might not want to rush into saying he wants me back. But they could just be giving me false hope. I mean we dated a short while and although it was an intense relationship it's not like we were living together or had any deep ties to each other, so I found it odd he even contacted me in the first place. I know I should just let it go, there's so many better guys out there but he's someone I could see myself with for the long haul. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Some of my friends are saying he's probably taking it slow because it's been 2 months since we broke up and he's prideful, so he might not want to rush into saying he wants me back. If he wanted to be with you, he would make that clear rather than risk someone else catching your eye. That's the long and short of it. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 17, 2016 Share Posted October 17, 2016 Agree there are better guys for you out there. He would not currently be on Tinder if he were in this "for the long haul"I know I should just let it go, there's so many better guys out there but he's someone I could see myself with for the long haul. Link to comment
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