Should I wait for her to reach out?

[Brutal555]

I met one girl one day and I 1 day later I found out that she was interesteed in me. So i sent her a text, then 2 days later we went out and hooked up really fast, like in an hour. I don't really know If the two of us would be a good match, cause I really don't know many things about her. I only heard that she's been with many guys. So I haven't seen her since that day, I called her out once and she canceled the date 2 hours earlier before she had some things going on, or so she said. Should I stop texting and let her reach out to me now or should I ask out again?

[Wiseman2]

It depends what you want out of it, hookups? Then just text to get together again. Either way, try once more to set something up, if there's a lame response or she flakes again, delete her number.

i sent her a text, then 2 days later we went out and hooked up really fast, like in an hour. I called her out once and she canceled the date 2 hours earlier before she had some things going on, or so she said. Should I stop texting and let her reach out to me now or should I ask out again?

[Brutal555]

It depends what you want out of it, hookups? Then just text to get together again. Either way, try once more to set something up, if there's a lame response or she flakes again, delete her number.

 

I simply want to gt to know her a little bit more, because the 1 time we were out we were out with some friends and litteraly made out in front of them for the first time

[BlarneyStone]

She sounds like quite the catch.

[zeino]

If you want to know her a little more, don't reach out right now and wait and observe. The ball is in her court anyway. So you will know whether that was an excuse to disappear or if she is interested in something. Then you will learn what it is, and then you will have the chance to observe if actions match words. Doing less (after the proper amount) and observing more always shows us what we want to know.

 

I also learn a lot about people when I listen to my own self. Am I comfortable with what they are doing or is my gut wrenching. That teaches me a lot about people as well as myself.

[Brutal555]

If you want to know her a little more, don't reach out right now and wait and observe. The ball is in her court anyway. So you will know whether that was an excuse to disappear or if she is interested in something. Then you will learn what it is, and then you will have the chance to observe if actions match words. Doing less (after the proper amount) and observing more always shows us what we want to know.

 

I also learn a lot about people when I listen to my own self. Am I comfortable with what they are doing or is my gut wrenching. That teaches me a lot about people as well as myself.

 

Yeah, I kind of get that "gut feeling" after I do something, not before or during doing it. I need to change that

[zeino]

I can say that I have something similar if I leave myself to myself. In my codependency work I "discovered" that I'm very high-risk in terms of jumping into things at the beginning of relationships and then an eternal problem-solver afterward, which makes a candidate for abuse. In my case, this is the result of being brought up with an emotionally volatile parent, which gave me messy boundaries all over the place. But again, I discovered in my healing work that I actually always, ALWAYS get the gut reaction at the right time but I have silenced it so much that it may be weak or I ignore it as well - mostly through rationalization or just saying yeah whatever. My solution has been to slow down, seriously slow down, devote proper time to listening to myself, always at a calm, special place like a park or in nature where I'm not distracted with my own hustle and bustle and being honest with myself.

 

How are you planning to change your tendency? Is your gut saying anything, anything at all in this situation?

[Gary Snyder]

If she did not counter offer with another day or time, she's probably not interested. A girl with sincere interest wants to see you.

[Brutal555]

I can say that I have something similar if I leave myself to myself. In my codependency work I "discovered" that I'm very high-risk in terms of jumping into things at the beginning of relationships and then an eternal problem-solver afterward, which makes a candidate for abuse. In my case, this is the result of being brought up with an emotionally volatile parent, which gave me messy boundaries all over the place. But again, I discovered in my healing work that I actually always, ALWAYS get the gut reaction at the right time but I have silenced it so much that it may be weak or I ignore it as well - mostly through rationalization or just saying yeah whatever. My solution has been to slow down, seriously slow down, devote proper time to listening to myself, always at a calm, special place like a park or in nature where I'm not distracted with my own hustle and bustle and being honest with myself.

 

How are you planning to change your tendency? Is your gut saying anything, anything at all in this situation?

 

She texted me last night that she will ask me something today, and when I sent her: What did you want to ask me last night? I maybe shouldn't have asked that because she won't reply now

[zeino]

Did you reply quickly when she texted you or did you just say nothing and then said "what did you want to ask me" one day later?

 

Maybe she heard that you heard what you heard and is worried over this?

[Brutal555]

Did you reply quickly when she texted you or did you just say nothing and then said "what did you want to ask me" one day later?

 

Maybe she heard that you heard what you heard and is worried over this?

Doesn't matter now, I'm done with her. If she wanted to see me she would do that, without making excuses