Need advice ... big fight

[Kaykayxo]

Me and my boyfriend had an argument the other day which I initiated , on something we'd often argued about and tbh it is minuscule so I regretted starting it. He grew very irritated and went on a rant of how he is tired of the same arguments etc . Afterward I talked to him casually the next day he gave a curt response . Often when we fight he needs space as do I , however we live an hour away and had plans to see each other this weekend .

I asked if he was going to come and he says he had to see, and that "tho we may have fun , he is still annoyed and isn't sure he wants to see me" ?

He told me he'd let me know ... I am definitely put off by this & assuming the worst that we are headed for splitsville. I don't want to lose him but the fact that he is "annoyed" be me and avoiding my company seems plain rude . I am wondering if as hard as it is I should back off & leave the situation to rest It is very hard and I am definitely craving his company more than ever, but he often lets his own pettiness & bad moods get in the way. I just don't get it

[Seymore]

You started an argument over something minuscule and you're complaining about HIS pettiness? I don't get it.

 

When my ex would keep bringing up something petty I was getting pretty sick of being around her too. Problem is if I tried to leave and get a little space she would often physically block me from leaving.

[Kaykayxo]

You started an argument over something minuscule and you're complaining about HIS pettiness? I don't get it.

 

When my ex would keep bringing up something petty I was getting pretty sick of being around her too. Problem is if I tried to leave and get a little space she would often physically block me from leaving.

 

It was more my own insecurities being brought up and he told me to stop being "crazy" however the funny thing is he is often much more insecure than I and starts arguments but I am patient , even at worst I do not block him out or not want to see him . Everyone has them . I feel he is oblivious to his double standards and it sucks

[Seymore]

Well eventually I bet you won't be so patient either. Bottom line is both of you need to work on your insecurities. That'll wear the strongest couples out after long enough.

[Kaykayxo]

Also. We are not around each other a lot. When we do get together it is always blissful of course but this rough patch in between I'm sure is a catch. I figured if we saw each other we could relieve tension but he hides from problems instead of communicating ..I just don't know half the time he is thinking. I don't like being left on a thread. If you don't want to be with me directly state it so atleast I know where we are at.. don't be passive aggressive . In LDR there is not the wiggle room for all this

[Kaykayxo]

and thank you Seymore. I hope we can give it one more try however it has gotten old for sure

[nihongo]

If he comes to visit you this weekend, what steps are you gonna take to reassure him these same arguments won't happen again?

[Seymore]

That is not running. He said he's annoyed and doesn't know if he wants to see you. You know what he's annoyed about. He's choosing to not engage with you further because he knows interacting with you is gonna result in more fighting. So that's not running. In LDR there's no room for petty bickering over insecurities either.

 

It would drive me absolutely nuts when I'd be in the situation I described with my ex and me leaving to be alone for a bit was labeled by her as "running" or "hiding". Whats he supposed to do, sit there and let you pick at him until he gives up and you win? Or keep going in circles with the same argument for hours? Something has to give here and he's disengaging. Not hiding.