Is it her or shoykd I have withheld my comment?

[jennylove]

Two years ago, I met a woman at my work who started the sabe day I did. We became instant work friends. We hung out once outside of work. She kept trying to get me to go out with her more, but I always had an excuse. She was transferred 9 months after our start date. It was around 3 months after her transferring, I sent her a text asking if she wanted to hang out. We went out for a drink and she seemed really pissed at me, it was not enjoyable at all. After that, I decided if she wanted to hang out or be friends, she'd have to make the next contact.

 

A year later, she texted me acting like we were bff's and wanting to catch up. We exchanged friendly texts. And then my last text to her, I told her I was sorry for not being a better friend when we first met, I told her I didn't hang out with very many ppl back then because I felt like I was in a black hole from a horrible breakup of a long term boyfriend. I told her I'm much better now and feeling like my old self again. She knew about him back then, I just don't think she knew how badly I was hurting.

 

Anyway, it's been 2 weeks since I sent that, no response.

[notalady]

You made an honest attempt at fostering a friendship, I don't see anything wrong with your comment. Her lack of response probably shows she either doesn't know what to say (because you're not that close) or she doesn't really care. If a friend, even if not close, told me something so close to their heart like that, I would've at least responded to let her know it was no big deal and I'm glad that she feels better now. Her lack of response seems rude to me. I wouldn't initiate any more contact unless she does.

[catfeeder]

The time spent with her in hostility would have closed the lid on this for me. She's not a villain, but she's not the friend you hoped she'd be. That's not a disaster, it's just odds. Most people are not our match despite one or two points of commonality. We can either accept those limitations and pursue the friendship 'around' those common interests, or we can just pass and move on to form bonds that are more suitable.

 

I'd use my interest in this friend as a prompter to expand my own scope of interests and meet more people. As we mature and solidify into our own personalities, and we won't be everyone's cup of tea. That's not rejection, it's just simple odds. The idea is to form acquaintances, and if we're lucky to have the right chemistry with any of those, a deeper friendship will develop over time.

 

Good friends are rare, but they're the ones who click naturally and easily without a need to jump through hoops to snag them or keep them. You'll find a good friend someday if you keep your door open and expand your social life at your own pace.

 

Head high.

[jennylove]

Thanks ya'll

 

I tried editing my OP to add my reason for being fine with a friendship attempt after being treated so coldly the last time I saw her. The reason is, she was extremely stressed back then so I thought that in a case like this, second chances are sometimes fine.

 

Back then, she let on to big time marital problems, mother-in-law problems, money problems, etc. no reason to be rude to me, but whatever, I let it pass. When she initiated texting again, she volunteered how she and the hubs bought a new house, her MIL moved 2k miles away, they were trying for baby number 3, etc. she seemed much more delightful than my last memory of her.

 

Oh well.