This guy is tearing my life apart

[Fawkes22]

Okay so this is a long story. I've been in love with this guy for 5 years now (I'm bi btw, and a guy), and we had been in the same highschool class for 3 years when we went on a trip to Italy. We would live with Italian families for a week. What happened was, he and I were assigned to the same house and family, we had to share a bed with each other (lucky me). So after a few days, we were about to go to bed when he told me we would go to a different highschool the following year. I was shocked. I wouldn't get to see him anymore if he was going to do that, so I had to find a solution. I decided to go to the very same highschool he was going to go, telling everyone (including him) that it was my mother that wanted me to go there (yes, I acted like some kind of stalker, I'm not proud of it).

 

Then, next year, I went to the new highschool just as I found out that he had stayed in the old highschool. I was alone in that place and I didn't know anybody. I wanted to die.

 

I studied that year in the "New Highschool" as he studied in the "Old Highschool" (lets call them that way). So, this year, my class and friends from the "Old Highschool" came to the "New Highschool" because they had to (Spanish educational system). So now I'm with all of my friends again, we're all (including the guy I'm in love with) in the same class. What happens is, I'm almost totally sure he's straight, but I love him, and I can't stop loving him, and the fact that I see him everyday doesn't help to forget him. It's been 5 years now, I wanna make it stop. What can I do?

[Wiseman2]

Join some LGBT groups or clubs and find out more about what's out there and the local scene. If he's straight all you can do is be friends. Does he know you're bi?

I'm bi btw, and a guy. I'm almost totally sure he's straight

[Fawkes22]

I live in a quite small village and there ain't any LGBT community here, I mean it's a bit of a taboo topic. Just my closest friends know that I'm bi, he doesn't know.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like it can't go any further than a bromance. Does he date or talk about girls a lot?

Just my closest friends know that I'm bi, he doesn't know.

[Fawkes22]

It sounds like it can't go any further than a bromance. Does he date or talk about girls a lot?

Hmmm not to me. He doesn't talk to me about girls like he does with other guys. He might suspect I'm bi but I don't think so, I mean I'm not a girly dude or anything. A bromance would be enough for me, but I'm not good at making close male friends, I kinda feel more comfortable talking about problems and stuff with female friends.