Should I try with him?

[ReeLove12345]

I met a guy at a dating event and we went on a few dates getting to know each other over the next few weeks . Then he told me about a girl at church he had known before me who he had he had previously had feelings for and she had appeared on the scene again. He was open and told me this brought a rush of feelings and he was very confused and weren't sure what it meant.

 

He called things off and he said he wasn't the type to talk or entertain two girls at the sa me time. He said he wanted to follow what he felt and he wasn't sure if he was infatuated with this girl but wanted to explore since he had liked so much before.

 

After long conversations back and forth things cooled off and I let him explore while living my own life.. obviously I upset for abit and I really really liked this guy. He made me feel amazing and I thought he was the one.

 

The back story is he's not had much relationship experience whereas after the two long relationship experience ive had i knew straight away it was infatuation but I let him go rather than convince him otherwise as we all have our own journey

 

Suprise he's back and he said it is infatuation he said he realised how silly it was and he's scared to follow his heart again since he got it so wrong.

 

Now he wants to get to know me again slowly and possibly a relationship.

 

The reason why Im unsure because I've been in his shoes I've picked the wrong guy a few times and had regrets. Genuine regrets I just didn't have the balls to admit to the good guy I wanted another chance. However, I don't know if I'll always have this second place feeling. Will he still respect me? I am not desperate for a boyfriend I just genuinely really like him andstill feels his a good guy hes just made a mistake.

 

If we were in a relationship I would have showed him the door. However we weren't and it was a few weeks of intense dating (no sex but just intense conversation)

 

Shall I give him a second chance to get to know me.?

 

Can I wipe the slate clean and say let's try again.. if anything my ego has been abit bruised and in all honestly im not used to knock backs.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he's interested in you however proceed with caution knowing where his heart really is despite it not working out with her...this time.

Then he told me about a girl at church he had known before me who he had he had previously had feelings for and she had appeared on the scene again.He said he wanted to follow what he felt and he wasn't sure if he was infatuated with this girl but wanted to explore since he had liked so much before. Shall I give him a second chance to get to know me.?

[missmarple]

I wouldn't give him a second chance. Everything you say makes sense (you weren't in a relationship, people make mistakes, etc, etc) and I would also consider all those things...but, eventually, I wouldn't go back to dating him, I would always feel second best.

[notalady]

How long did he "explore things" with this girl for?

[SkellyWoozle]

If you think it's worth it, then go for it but tread carefully and prepare for him chickening out all over again. Depends if he's really over this other girl X

[ReeLove12345]

A month or so

 

Just to be clear though guys were both christians and he's a virgin so I mean if he was ing her and coming back to me then it wouldn't even be a question

[ReeLove12345]

Thank you x

[ReeLove12345]

I asked him how it felt that it wasn't what it seemed. He said he felt abit bummed because he realised it was infatuation and realised what he had and that was it because he didn't know her that well it wasn't something he had to get over.

 

I agree I have to be very cautious and I feel overtime I'll get an idea of just how he really feels.

 

I.know what you mean by second best it crossed my mind so much. Then I thought how many times have I picked the bad guys over the good guys. Plenty !!! So I understand the infatuation he felt. I also appreciate his honestly if I was in his shoes I wouldn't have said anything about liking another guy tbh and probably made another excuse and see how it went with one of the guys.

[ReeLove12345]

A month or so. We stopped talking in July and he told me had realised in September. He said he kept trying to find meaning as to why when she came on the scene he had these feelings rush back whilst speaking to me.

 

I had a good feeling he'd be back in all honesty. I've been in a relationship and an ex had messaged and suddenly I felt all confused with feelings and thoughts then it just passes.

[HeartGoesOn]

I'd feel like sloppy seconds, and would decline.

[notalady]

At the end of the day it's up to you how comfortable you feel about dating him again, obviously if you do, to take things slow and really get to know him (including his interest level) before becoming more invested.

 

To be honest he sounds inexperienced and perhaps a bit too honest. He could've just gone on a few dates with her without telling you, after all you've just been on a few dates and were not exclusive.

 

When I went on first couple of dates with my current boyfriend, I also met another guy at the same time and went on a couple of dates with him. I was very attracted to the second guy, but over a few dates I detected some red flags, which in my younger less experienced years, I may have ignored the red flags in favour of the attraction. But because I knew better, I wrote him off and continued dating my boyfriend whom I got along with really well but just took a few dates for the attraction and chemistry to really grow (for me), and to this day whenever I think about it, I think thank god I made the right choice!

 

So you never know.