Is This Ever Going to Feel Better?

[Jen1966]

I had been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years. We did everything together and I thought we were very close. He told me he loved me, cared about me, etc. Then one day, out of the clear blue, he told me he was moving clear across the country. He left one month later and we have no contact. I'm left trying to catch my breath and figure out what happened. I financially supported him for over 2 years and then when I told him it was going to be difficult for me to continue doing that, he just left and moved clear across the country. I'm angry, disappointed in myself, sad, indifferent....you name it, I seem to feel it. The last couple of weeks, I have just been so incredibly sad, hurt and depressed. I'm finding it hard to function. I finally went to my doctor and told her the whole story. She prescribed some anti anxiety meds, which I hope helps as I have a teenage son and I need to be able to function on a daily basis. How long is this heartbreak going to continue? I was very much in love with him and he said the same to me, but I am doubting that now. I just want this horrible aching and pain to go away.

[gebaird]

The first couple months are the worst, then the pain starts to diminish a bit. One day you'll be doing great and the next day you'll nose dive. Losing a loved one is as close to going through withdrawals as non-drug addicts get.

 

I'm sorry for your pain, but it honestly sounds like he may have been taking advantage of you. He bolted the second it looked like his sugar mama was going to stop supporting his indolence.

 

Spend time with friends, start a new hobby, do all the things you couldn't do when he was around. Take long showers or baths, watch shows he didn't enjoy, spend some quality time with your son. Eat better, exercise more, reinvent yourself. In time you will see that you are better off without your ex.

 

Don't jump into a new relationship too soon, and don't reach out to your old BF. It will only lead to disappointment if you do. Talk to a therapist if you can. It's pretty awful when you feel like you've not only been rejected but were just being used.

 

Your worth as a human being is the same as it has always been. The fact that your BF choice to treat you like dirt doesn't mean you have no value. He doesn't get to define you.

[Hollyj]

Please believe that he did you a huge favor. You should never, ever be someone's wallet. Why did you feel that you had to be with someone you had to support?

 

 

Give yourself some time, as it is a healer. You do not need this leeching loser in your life. Expect more for yourself, and from others.

[Jen1966]

Please believe that he did you a huge favor. You should never, ever be someone's wallet. Why did you feel that you had to be with someone you had to support?

 

 

Give yourself some time, as it is a healer. You do not need this leeching loser in your life. Expect more for yourself, and from others.

 

Thanks Holly for your reply. And you are so accurate and correct. Especially about the why was I with someone that I financially supported. I'm still trying to figure that one out. He always said it was a small investment for our big future. I do feel he played me and used me. I'm not sure who I am more upset with. Him or me? It is so valuable to get a third party's unbiased opinion. Thank you so much!

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. It sounds like he was using you and began lining up a new victim to parasitize when you told him you couldn't support him much longer.

 

Sociopaths like this often move around like ticks looking for the next warm blood meal. Read up on love fraud 1966;6665683]He left one month later and we have no contact.I financially supported him for over 2 years and then when I told him it was going to be difficult for me to continue doing that, he just left and moved clear across the country.

[Jen1966]

Thank you for that link. It was extremely accurate when it comes to my past relationship. I just cannot figure out I was so blind to all of this. I'm going to see a counselor which I think will be good for me. Thank you again to all that gave me such good feedback.

[JonnyD79]

I'm 3 months down the line and I still have really bad days. This week has been awful. I hate myself for feeling this way too.

The issue is that I don't have anything to look forward too, only doom and gloom.

I'm dreading Christmas and New Year.

I'm still in the house we owned together and hate it. It's full of ghosts of her. Twice this week I've cried my eyes out while showering in a morning. I don't know if I miss her or just miss being with someone.

I've been seeing a therapist almost since the day it happened and have made some interesting discoveries about myself.

My last 2 relationships have both been my response to feeling really low and in emotional places I didn't like being in. I worry that I'll just do this again. I get so lonely that I latch on to the first woman who shows any kind of serious interest. I need to break the cycle.

However my emotions kick in and tell me I have to find some one because I'm getting old. I'm 37, no kids but I would like them. I worry that if I don't meet someone in the next 6 months I'll never meet someone to have child.

I know I shouldn't rush, I know that patience is a virtue. I also now how lonely and alone I feel.