Do you ever think about ending things with your S/O?

[Kaykayxo]

Does anybody else often think in their head of just ending things with their s/o? Not all the time, but just fleetingly imaging it or contemplating it.

 

I find myself doing this probably more than I should. I love him..I mean I think I do? I think I am just so unsure of my own emotions half the time and have a rocky past with being stable in relationships, so it leads me to overthink. When things are going great or he is making me feel very happy I often see us and imagine a future, and these are my most blissful high points. However if there is a lull between us or something "small" happens, such as bickering or lack of intimacy, I entertain the thought. I wonder if this is normal? I know I will not actually do it, but I imagine myself doing it and feel myself growing irritated with him. Once I did 'end things' about a year ago because I felt he did not prioritize me and I ended up deeply regretting it, and we obviously got back within the week.

 

We are also Long distance so this may contribute to my ambivalence at time. My own emotions scare me because they can go from so happy and so sure, to feeling as though it is ending, right back to being sure. He does not bore me and when we get to spend time together it helps but when we are away for lengths of time it can get tricky.

[trickykid]

Yeah I do too.

 

I have a girlfriend, 3 kids and house. Sometimes when I get home from work and the kids are crying, there are toys all over the floor and the girlfriend is grouchy, I start thinking how nice it would be to just get away from it all. A place of my own, the kids can come at the weekend, sometimes I would think it would be nice to have a girlfriend, with no kids and doesnt want any kids.

 

But then, I just remember I wouldnt actually want any of that, I love my girlfriend, love the kids and I would never want to be away from them. I love that the kids love me, hug me, kiss me. I love that if my girlfriend sees me coming home from, she will sometimes have coffee ready by the time I get in or sometimes she will have coffee ready when I come down the stairs in the morning. I would miss all of those little things.

 

It must be said, I would only start thinking like that, when its one of those days I come home tired and the house is in uproar

[limichelle]

I'm in long distance as well and I find the distance doesn't help with keeping that intimate connection continuously going.

I know what you mean by the lulls. I think I don't need this when I could find a guy here!

 

Then I remind myself that not many guys would have the patience, love and understanding he does. He knows all my deep dark secrets and takes me good and bad. That distance is just a sacrifice we make but at the end of it love is what matters.

 

Lisa

[j.man]

It's tough for me because I'm someone who is inclined toward having space. Even when I've been honeymooning with new women, I've always relished my days completely apart. So even if it were because I was discontent in any way, it'd be tough to distinguish. I go through stints where I think it'd be nice to just have a week completely to myself, but at least since after our first year together (coming up on three now), I've never imagined actually leaving her.

 

I think wanting some space while you're upset is normal. Thinking about full on leaving, especially enough times to notice a trend of any kind, is a pretty big red flag to me.

[notalady]

 

I think wanting some space while you're upset is normal. Thinking about full on leaving, especially enough times to notice a trend of any kind, is a pretty big red flag to me.

 

Agreed.

 

In my past relationships, when I thought about breaking up, multiple times, was when I know in my gut that this is not the right relationship / person for me and I should be breaking up. When things are good (and there are ALWAYS good times even if it's not the right relationship), I get distracted and think its probably worth staying for, but of course it starts again when something like an argument triggers the break up thoughts again.

 

I can only say I wish I had listened to that voice earlier rather than later.

 

Personally I think one would not be thinking about breaking up if they are in a happy, content relationship. Need space sometimes yes, break up no.