Is she interested, or not?

[gormball2]

Hi im 24 and I'm currently trying to date a girl from college who's 20. I known her for 1 year, but only recently started making advances, primarily via text.

 

We have been texting each other for about 1 week, but conversations are very draggy as she takes anywhere from 3 to 12 hours to reply. Admittedly I have done the same to her. Some times she leaves a black tick on my whatsapp and I can clearly see her online on whatsapp but no reply from her. Frankly this doesn't look good.

 

Yet the confusion is that I have asked her out, and she did say okay to going out and we have set a date for that, and she does reply with quite a few messages when she does and occasionally does continue the conversation by asking followup questions, but the response generally stays infrequent. I have also not flirted much over text, as she does seem like an introvert who is quiet and I am not sure how well that will go.

 

Also when we see each other in college I always sense that she is a little afraid of me to the point she tried to avoid me. In fact, this was the case even before I made any attempts to advance so I definitely wasn't behaving differently from my usual self then. Yet it's strange that during our conversations on text she refers to some of the little details about myself I have mentioned in passing. (we mostly see each other in a group setting as part of a school club) also this might be me being crazy but some unexplainable instinct tells me her avoiding of me isn't for the usual reason of disinterest?

 

So is this a hit or a miss? What exactly is she playing at?

[gebaird]

She could be busy, she could be uncertain about you (normal in this early stage), she may have been hurt before and is hesitant, she could be holding back because introverts find human interaction draining, she could just be bad at texting. In short, there could be any number of explanations. You'll know a lot more after the date, I think.

[LadyAbbey31]

If your instincts are telling you that she isn't avoiding you out of disinterest, then trust that, because that's what my instinct was after reading this post! Like the previous poster said, you'll know more after an actual date. If she's 'socially uncomfortable', try not to put her on the spot too often, just try to keep things light, pressure free, and just make her comfortable. You be the one to lead and take charge, and hopefully she'll follow and slowly get more comfortable. If, in the beginning stages you want to question her interest, or tell her how interested you are in her, do it in writing to avoid putting her on the spot. Again all of this is just a recommendation on what to do in the beginning stages, once things get going she'll need to start reciprocating. You can't put in most of the effort for months on end, don't put yourself through that. Once you start dating, and you've been clear on your feelings and what you want, she'll need to pick up the slack. Otherwise you'll get emotionally exhausted. And this is all advise coming from an introverted girl Good luck!

[SoulTaker]

She could be busy, she could be uncertain about you (normal in this early stage), she may have been hurt before and is hesitant, she could be holding back because introverts find human interaction draining, she could just be bad at texting. In short, there could be any number of explanations. You'll know a lot more after the date, I think.

 

Op, as gebaird as noted, it could be a number of things. The one that comes to my mind is that she could be acting this way because she's a young woman, who doesn't know how to say "not interested" to an older man who she has to be around in a regular group setting.

 

If she follows through with the date invite, then make sure that she actually wants to go out on the date, and is not going through the motions, just to appease your request.

[Wiseman2]

Wait until you are one on one in person to get a feel for what's going on. She accepted a date so that is a better sign than any texting replies etc. Confirm the date asking about times, you look forward to seeing her etc.

I have asked her out, and she did say okay to going out and we have set a date for that