Jump to content

Why he doesn't answer yes/or?


Recommended Posts

I met a guy few months ago at bar. He came with his friend to me and me friend to dance and chat a bit. Before he left at the dancefloor he touched my nose in a cute way.There was a lot going on and at that night and me and my friend left the bar pretty early. I remember being sorry for not having a chance to say bye to that guy.


Then few weeks ago I met this same guy at different bar. He came to me and did that cute nose touching thing. Like he remembered me?He crapped his arms around me and danced with me. There was so much chemistry in the air! My friend had a emergency situation with his boyfriend and I went with her talk about it behind the corner. I noticed that the guy was searching me with his eyes on the grouded dancefloor. Then my friend decided to leave the bar and I followed her without questioning. Outside the bar I remembered that we didn't even exchange our names with this guy. I felt terrible and I just wanted to see him again.


At home did some research on social media and found out a guy that looked a little bit like him. (Can't really say for sure, because I was dancing back against him..) I send him a message on facebook, asking if he was with his friend at this bar a week ago. He hasn't read it.. maybe because we're not friends and it goes somewhere in junkmail. A week after I encouraged myself to send him the same message on instagram, but he hasn't opened it.


Well, a week ago I did something stupid and searched his phone number and send him a whatsapp message asking about being at that same at that time. I had my picture showing to all ppl, so I imagined he would regodnize me. He has seen that message, but hasn't answered anything. I felt I could die. I was so sad about a week, then when being a little drunk I send another message for him. I wrote that I was sorry about all that, and obliously he was not the guy I was seaching for. I saw that he was in whatsapp, but hadn't read my message. Then at the next day he finally opened my message, but haven't answered a thing. Why not? Is he just not that into me? Am I acting out like a weird creeper because I looked out his number and contacted him?


I feel really ashamed about this. I've been so stupid, and got so carried away with these stupid feelings. Hate this

Link to comment

I am trying to put myself in his shoes and try to imagine how I would feel if a guy I briefly met in a club and didn't exchange contact info with started messaging me on various social media platforms he shouldn't have even known existed, then somehow found out my phone number and started messaging me on it, and I am pretty sure I would not be flattered, quite the opposite I would feel creeped out to the max! I would do the same thing he's doing, ignore and hope the other person (I would think of as a stalker by that point) gets the hint and gives up.

You can't just invade someone's privacy and dig out info on them only because you want to! I know the feeling of wanting to kick yourself for not having said something when you had a chance, at the bar, it's frustrating and you start wondering what if you maybe missed a great opportunity to get to know an awesome guy. but to go to this extent to find him...that's just too much.


Chances are he isn't even single (lots of people in relationships and married go to bars and yes, chat up and even dance with people they meet there), or he would have probably asked you for your number himself, if he was interested. It could be that his partner saw your messages and he had some explaining to do, who knows?


Be patient and if things are meant to be, you will probably bump into him again at the bar and you will see if he approaches you or not. I would refrain from sending any more messages and even approaching him in person, you absolutely don't want to risk a restraining order. I am all for going after what you want, but going too far can put you in "stalker", "clingy", "weirdo" territory and that's never going to let you accomplish anything. Better to just be patient and only grab the chances when they present themselves and you can do so without crossing on mined territory.

Link to comment

Oof. Too much effort for someone you'd seen twice. To be honest, yes, it does come off a bit creepy. While you might have tiny bit more leeway being a woman in this situation, as Greta points out above, you'd be hard pressed to find a woman who'd be receptive to that kind of effort put forth by a man. In life, it'll just happen that we'll meet people we hit it off with and it will end at just that. It feels like a missed opportunity, but there will be many more.


That said, you are kicking yourself way too hard. We all have moments we look back on and feel embarrassed about. Take it as a lesson learned to seize the moment at the time. You've got the right idea putting yourself out there and taking some initiative.

Link to comment
He crapped his arms around me and danced with me. There was so much chemistry in the air!


Chemistry, or Lysol?


Am I acting out like a weird creeper because I looked out his number and contacted him?


If a woman went out of her way to meet me, I'd be flattered. But that's one message and then drop it. If a woman looked me up on 3 or 4 different platforms and contacted me on all of them I doubt I'd give her a call. I miiiight give the police a call.

Link to comment

I would try an entirely different and possibly more successful approach. Rather than hunt down guys after brief encounters in clubs, get on some dating apps and start messaging and meeting men.


At least you already have a pool of men interested in dating and a way to contact them.

At home did some research on social media and found out a guy that looked a little bit like him.
Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...