Where to go

[aball8275]

I met my boyfriend at a program back in February. In early Sept. I broke up with him because we had been fighting so much and I couldn't take anymore. After 2 weeks we got back together and I had asked him if he slept with anyone while we were apart. He said no. So we are back together for 3 weeks at least and I find out he lied. He had a one night stand a week after we split up... He has bought me an engagement ring and and has been wonderful but now that I know he lied, I'm sick to my stomach. I know he was able to do what he wanted but he lied to me and knowing he gave himself to another woman makes me sick to my stomach. I love him and want to be with him but I can't even look him in the eye right now.. What do I do?

[gebaird]

You've got two options: forgive him or break up. Do not marry him if you're going to be bitter about what he did for the rest of your life. Take it slow and see where the relationship goes. Don't jump into anything just yet. Give it time. If the fights resume or you can't forgive, end it. Better to lose him now than to marry him and regret it.

[Seymore]

You met only 8 months ago and have broken up once because of constant fighting and are getting married now?!? It sounds like you have a lot to work out before even thinking about marriage.

[trickykid]

The thing about forgiveness about his lies is that you do forgive him but you dont forget it. It can take a long time for healing of lies to happen, it could result in more fighting, lying and you having to wonder if he is telling the truth or not. Once a lie has made its way into a relationship it can take a long time for it to work itself out again

[Kaykayxo]

Sometimes people do stupid things that they regret, and lying can be seen as the best option to protect the relationship. Sounds horrible,but if he thought you would never find out he probably just wanted to save you from the hurt or frustration it would elicit. I would definitely take my time and back away from anything serious. You need to reevaluate whether or not that was a deal breaker for you.

Also, think about the reason you took a break in the first place. What were the fights about? Is it an issue that could arise once again or is it all in the past and your both ready to love?

Don't be hasty about anything. Take it slow, time and instinct will tell you what is right.

[Capricorn3]

You met only 8 months ago and have broken up once because of constant fighting and are getting married now?!? It sounds like you have a lot to work out before even thinking about marriage.

 

I totally agree. There are already too many issues and red flags all over the place. The last thing you should be doing right now is get engaged (imo). It would be far better, if you intend staying with him, to cancel all engagement/marriage plans and go to couples counseling instead. Be together for at least two full years before even thinking about getting engaged. Too many red flags.