Bf abroad ,and no contact for 3 weeks now.

[Alicia81]

Hi. I have Been reading your posts,and find many Similar threads about contacting while the other party is abroad.

but my case is still little different, and I really would need some advice since I feel I go grazy very soon

It's now 3 weeks since my bf left. We have been living in LDR past 3 years, and things haevn' t been going so well. He has personality disorder somekind, narsistic behaviour and because of LD we are able to see very little. He has allso very bad aggression problem, verbal kind.

He is still stuck in his ex house ,since he haevnt be able to go out because of money broblems and big debt. They dont have anything intim going on..this woman is so much older then he anyway and knows about me. But its still stupid that im kinda acide ,because he cant pursue real relationship.

 

Anyway...He left 3 weeks ago to his homecountry. He hade court of somekind there for past mistakes what he haevnt handle. He promised to call me later that night he was leaving...but nothing.

he allso promise to let me knows, offcourse.. ( his words) what happend there. But no..nothing. he has a prepaid and I know its not working..the phone is closed. But before he has Been there...in 2 weeks atleast he has buyd local card and contact me. Now its little over 3 weeks and not a Single sound.

 

I dont know anything. And it start to seem I dont have a bf anymore

Am I overreacting or acting klinky?

It just hurts that this long goes...He is not keeping his promise, and even tough I know the contacting problems...I would imagine that in 3 weeks he had even one change to get on internet or phone. ( he is in little village but his brother there has internet I know ) and sure he has Been going to nearest city.

 

So please tell me what to do I have Been sending messages to him..desperate, hurt

..I wish I wouldnt but I think its time to stop. He haevnt even get them ( I think textmessages dont wait many days if they dont go trough? Then they vanish. But whatabout whattsapp messages? I see them as send but not going to him )

Thankyou!

[lancelot873]

i feel your pain and i'm sorry you're going through this. i am a big fan of the gut feeling. if your gut is telling you to stop texting, then that's what you should do and need to trust that it's the best thing for you.

 

i say this because your gut usually knows what you've been through and it's the natural response to a given situation. if you keep over analyzing things, then you will go crazy. if you don't know any other person in his home country besides his ex, then i suggest contacting the ex and just inquire about what's going on, if he is ok..etc.

[Alicia81]

Actually this ex is not there. This seems too weird...I better he had change to contact me Somepoint, seems that he doesnt want. Im a shame for all those messages I sent..but can be that he never gets them anyway.

Does anyone know how it is with whattsapp? Are the messages going to wait there as long as he signs up next time, or do they dissapear at some amount of time?

Sms dosent stay waiting More then few days, that I know.

 

Its allready clear that he can live very well without me..And I think that his feelings are overall superfical. ( many times I heard how my feelings are problem, and dont feel so deep blah blah )

Every time when I try to discuss about how this is hard and kinda wrong to me..To be allways alone but still ' in rls '. He dosent allow me to go out for examble. But he is never here either.

rls what means that he comes once a week middle of the night, staying about 4 hours..And Thats it.

but Every time I talk about this or matter a fact about anything relative to this. .He gets angry. Yelling etc. he dosent want to listen same allways.😕

[1a1a]

The way you describe this guy, him ghosting sounds like a blessing in disguise. Take this gift of freedom and run.

[Wiseman2]

He is only interested in booty call not a relationship. Stop contacting or responding t him and block him on your phone and all social media.

 

If you want dating/a relationship you will have to get a profile and pics on a dating app and start meeting guys who are interested in you for more than sex.

what means that he comes once a week middle of the night, staying about 4 hours..And Thats it. but Every time I talk about this or matter a fact about anything relative to this. .He gets angry. Yelling etc.

[melancholy123]

You need to block this guy and move on with a guy from closer to you. Your alleged bf is not that interested in you or he'd find a way to keep in contact.

[MissCanuck]

I think you are being played and manipulated, big-time.

 

Have you ever been to his house or actually met the ex? Or is all the information you know about them based on what he has been telling you? I have very strong suspicions that his "ex" whom he lives with isn't an ex at all. The way you describe this, it sounds like he is having an affair with you and that he is either married to or still in a relationship with her.

 

Forget this guy. He doesn't care about you or respect you one iota. He certainly doesn't treat you like a girlfriend at all. Let him stay out of contact; he's bad news.