Advice with moving on

[lindseygaret88]

Basically I met this guy at a bar job I do (he's kind of my boss) and we hit off amazingly. We had loads of similar interests and hobbies and one day I told him I liked him. He politely told me he had a girlfriend but was flattered and would like to stay friends.

We kept talking all the time and eventually he told me he liked me and wanted to leave his girlfriend for me. we both agreed nothing physical would happen between us because it was already not fair on her the fact we were telling each other we liked each other. He called his parents and asked if he could move back for a few months because he wanted to leave her but before he had a chance to tell her, she read his messages and saw we told each other we really liked each other.

After that discussion between them two, he told me that he loved her still, realised he made a mistake and wanted to stay with her but she was fine with us still being friends.

I told him I was a bit devastated but I understood as they've been together ten years. Since then we've still talked to each other everyday but now he's started to become close with another girl at work and I've slowly been forgotten about (karma on me I guess!)

 

I just feel like I've got myself in to a situation because I stupidly thought with my feelings and not my head.

 

Does anyone have any advice for moving on from this situation, or has anyone found themselves in something similar?

[Edmund Exley]

 

Does anyone have any advice for moving on from this situation, or has anyone found themselves in something similar?

 

Yes, consider yourself lucky.

[Wiseman2]

Luckily it never got as far as dating or an affair, so you can view his current flirtation as just something he continually does behind his gf's back.

 

Be glad you never got caught up in it. Be polite, friendly, etc. but pull away and move on to date more available guys rather than the workplace womanizer.

he told me that he loved her still, realised he made a mistake and wanted to stay with her but she was fine with us still being friends.he's started to become close with another girl at work and I've slowly been forgotten about.

[Edmund Exley]

Luckily it never got as far as dating or an affair, so you can view his current flirtation as just something he continually does behind his gf's back.

 

Be glad you never got caught up in it. Be polite, friendly, etc. but pull away and move on to date more available guys rather than the workplace womanizer.

 

Yeah, I would bet this is a game he likes to play for attention. I mean do you really think his girlfriend of 10 years would be "Ok with you staying friends" when he was one step out the door from leaving her for you? This guy's full of it.

[ParisPaulette]

He's a player. You ignored the fact he has a girlfriend and didn't spot that that's a major red flag. A really good guy worth your time wouldn't be chatting up other women while he's still in a relationship with someone else.

 

And no, "I'm gonna leave her for you" doesn't count as him being available. It just counts as him being a lying cheater who is dishonest and disloyal to his girlfriend and insulting to you treating you like a plaything.

 

If they haven't been single - really single and not "gonna" or "can't get free" or "separated" - for a minimum of six months leave them alone. Find a guy who really is available, not a cheater or a cheater is all you're ever going to get.

[lancelot873]

yup he sounds like a d-bag. don't be further devastated. he is the one who will get bad karma coming his way for sure. don't give him any of your attention/time. hope this made you feel better!