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Is she just toying with me?


trojan

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OK, Im an older student on campus. There is this very nice looking girl working in the library. She quite obviously is flirting with me. But she is way out of my league, and maybe less than half my age. She will walk way out of her way to come near me. She will make sure she is the one that checks book out to me. But when I talk to her she freaks out. I thought of asking her out for coffee just to see what it is all about, but each time I start some small talk, she freaks out.

I am wondering if it is some sort of prank or initiation rite(?) Im too old for her, and she is a 9 and Im a 5. I stopped paying any attention, but do admit it is flattering. I assume Im being made a fool of.

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Her actions have nothing to do with your crush on her she's just doing her job. she probably doesn't want to flirt at work. Just be friendly and leave her alone if she "freaks" when you talk to her.

She will make sure she is the one that checks book out to me. But when I talk to her she freaks out.
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Her actions have nothing to do with your crush on her she's just doing her job. she probably doesn't want to flirt at work. Just be friendly and leave her alone if she "freaks" when you talk to her.

Thats what I do. I dont even notice her, although it is definite flirting, not just 'doing her job' She has been doing it for a year

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I dont even notice her, although it is definite flirting, not just 'doing her job' She has been doing it for a year

um ...... a little contradictory? You're crushing on her, but I don't see her "toying" with you. Just doing her job (imo).

 

If I may ask, how old are you? How old is she?

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um ...... a little contradictory? You're crushing on her, but I don't see her "toying" with you. Just doing her job (imo).

 

If I may ask, how old are you? How old is she?

Shes 19, Im 33. Not just doing her job, definatley flirting. I have a feeling she is just sorta boy crazy age and does this to a few guys on campus. Im not finding it disturbing at all, or anything like that, and Im enjoying the attention. Im mostly just writing it here because I really dont know much about what girls that age think about. Ive been in 11 intimate relationships with women in my life so far.

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If she's flirty, what do you mean "freaks when you talk to her"? Is she shy? ]

 

as in shy, yes. I waited one day until she got off work, and then walked her up to her dorm. This is like a mile away, so we had time to talk. Asked her major and all that normal stuff. She was quite shy. I did most of the talking. Then when I am checking out books,I try to make small talk, since we have already broken the ice, and she freaks out and clams up. We give each other the eye a lot, but she is too shy to engage in conversation. Like I said, I am enjoying the fact that a girl her age even knows I exist, but not taking it too seriously. Probably she is just feeling her oats about being away from parents and is flirting with a lot of guys on campus. I dont live on campus, but see her every day.

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as in shy, yes. I waited on day until she got off work, and walked her up to her dorm. Asked her major and all that normal stuff. he was quite shy. Then when I am checking out books,I try to make small talk, since we have already broken the ice, and she freaks out and clams up..

When I was 19 I know that if a 50 year old dude tried to make small talk with me I would have freaked out too and clammed up, lol. And yes, I was an awesome flirt, lol.

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Are you sure about that? I note in your previous thread you state "I am in my 50's". .....

yep. in 50's. But that makes it even more strange. shes actually 19 or 20. I didnt think anyone would bother to answer if I told my real age

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When I was 19 I know that if a 50 year old dude tried to make small talk with me I would have freaked out too and clammed up, lol. And yes, I was an awesome flirt, lol.

So why is she bothering with this at all? We flirt so much that it would look weird if I didnt at least introduce myself and walk her to her dorm and ask where she is from, as if Im afraid of girls or something. I even thought she was just interested in meeting new people.

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yep. in 50's. But that makes it even more strange. shes actually 19 or 20.

Nothing strange about it at all. I am not surprised she clams up and freaks out when you approach her. Not meaning to be nasty/harsh, but seriously OP, she's just a kid and you could be her grandpa (nevermind father) and you don't understand WHY she clams up/freaks out? Me thinks you are reading way way waaay too much into nothing at all. Leave this kid alone and look for someone your own age.

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it would look weird if I didnt at least introduce myself and walk her to her dorm and ask where she is from, as if Im afraid of girls or something.

Okay, maybe it's just me, but that is just creepy. 50+ walking 19 year old to her dorm..... No. (I'll probably get flamed for this, but now I am freaking out!). ~shudder~

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Right lets all calm down, it might be true that this 19 year old girl is flirting with a 50 year old man. Stranger things have happened. If you really want to find out the truth trojan, you need to ask her out, at the library so she doesn't feel pressured. If she doesn't want to she will say no. If she says yes then hoorah! If she says no then forget about it and quell your desires. Men asking girls out is NORMAL regardless of the age gap. Go for it!

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Okay, maybe it's just me, but that is just creepy. 50+ walking 19 year old to her dorm..... No. (I'll probably get flamed for this, but now I am freaking out!). ~shudder~

Why is it creepy? She asked me to. She asked me to walk with her.And the whole time my conversation stayed entirely on two students with an interest in the Liberal Arts. Havent you ever just talked to someone to see what they are like? Why does that make you shudder?

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Why is it creepy? She asked me to. She asked me to walk with her.And the whole time my conversation stayed entirely on two students with an interest in the Liberal Arts. Havent you ever just talked to someone to see what they are like? Why does that make you shudder?

 

You didn't mention any of that before. I only went on what info I had. Ok, maybe a slight overreaction on my part.

 

That said, I am having slight issues with all your contradictions. You say "I don't even notice her" ..... then in the next breath you say .."we flirt so much". You don't even notice her but you flirt so much? How is that even possible?

Then your age - you say 33, but in another thread you are "in your 50's". etc etc. All of these inconsistencies makes one a little suspicious and one can't quite figure out what is going on. So, if I have been a little off track here, you now know why.

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You didn't mention any of that before. I only went on what info I had. Ok, maybe a slight overreaction on my part.

 

That said, I am having slight issues with all your contradictions. You say "I don't even notice her" ..... then in the next breath you say .."we flirt so much". You don't even notice her but you flirt so much? How is that even possible?

Then your age - you say 33, but in another thread you are "in your 50's". etc etc. All of these inconsistencies makes one a little suspicious and one can't quite figure out what is going on. So, if I have been a little off track here, you now know why.

Sure, OK. Like I said, nobody would answer if I said Im 50. And the flirting thing has been going on for like 2 years now, maybe longer. She gives me the eye, makes sure she is in a place where I will notice her, changes direction so she will be in my line of path as I walk, stuff like that. She does say 'Hi'frequently, and uses my name when she says it. Ill be studying and she will push her book cart near me and just ask how I am, or just say hi as she goes by. When I said I just ignore her, I mean I no longer consider asking her on a coffee date, and no longer try the small talk, since she never replies, or she freaks out and clams up. And the point of all of this is: why is she doing all this attention to a 50 year old Grad student? Mostly just curious as to what people think. Traveling and alone in a hotel with no one to talk to

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We give each other the eye a lot, but she is too shy to engage in conversation.

 

You know, if I feel like I'm being watched by someone, I end up keeping my eye on them. It might look like I'm giving them "the eye," but in reality I'm thinking, "Is this guy still looking at me???? WTH???"

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You know, if I feel like I'm being watched by someone, I end up keeping my eye on them. It might look like I'm giving them "the eye," but in reality I'm thinking, "Is this guy still looking at me???? WTH???"

OK, so why would she push her book cart across the library to pass 6 feet from me and say hi, (my name) If I were creeping her out it seems she would avoid me. And usually when she says 'Hi------" I just smile and nod my head.

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OK, so why would she push her book cart across the library to pass 6 feet from me and say hi, (my name) If I were creeping her out it seems she would avoid me. And usually when she says 'Hi------" I just smile and nod my head.

Im not stalking her or anything weird like that.

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Sure, OK. Like I said, nobody would answer if I said Im 50. And the flirting thing has been going on for like 2 years now, maybe longer.

See... now this is where I come unstuck again. This just gets worse, lol. So, she was then only 17 or 16 years old and this old man in his 50's was hanging around her flirting etc? Um, No. Just. No.

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See... now this is where I come unstuck again. This just gets worse, lol. So, she was then only 17 or 16 years old and this old man in his 50's was hanging around her flirting etc? Um, No. Just. No.

no, she was in her early 20's when this started. She was halfway through a Bachelors degree.I never asked her age. It seemed a little too familiar. I am only guessing her age. Also: I have a friend that is a woman and she is my age, in her 50's. I told her to go check out the librarian. I tell her about each encounter with the librarian. She thinks it is a hoot and asks about her everytime we speak. She thinks the whole thing is hilarious. It is one of her favorite topics and she asks what happened every time she sees me.

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