What should I think?

[fuzzybunny92]

Hi everyone!

 

I just got out of a relationship about 6 months ago and it was extremely hard. I've been working on myself since then and I've been feeling so much better. I moved in with some friends and one day one of my roommates sister came over with her husband and one of his friends. I didn't think anything at the time, because I was still kind of hurting but I noticed the friend was really nice and funny. Not as good looking as my ex, but someone that seemed way better in a lot more aspects. So weeks go on and my roommates sister brings up me going out with him and I said sure why not. So then they talk to him and he says yeah and basically that he is interested too. 2 days ago we all went on a group date (my roommate, her sister and her sisters husband) but it was awkward because I'm really shy and so is he. My roommate also didn't have her boyfriend with her so it was 5 people and just kind of off. Regardless I really like him and want to get to know him more.

 

Heres where I'm confused. Yesterday (day after the 'date') my roommate is teasing me about him and says she's going to call Leah, blah blah blah. Then she doesn't say anything all day and I ask her about it because it's driving me crazy. She says that he did ask about me and he said something but she wont tell me? I freaked out a bit and she said it's good. I ask what is it and she just says to stop overthinking and not to worry because it's good. She hasn't said anything about him today and it's driving me crazy. I don't know what to think or do because I'm starting to feel like maybe he just isn't into me. Am I overthinking? I would ask her for his number or something but what if he doesn't want me to have it?

 

Thanks a bunch!

[jujusamples]

Yes, you are overthinking it! You only met him a few times and you are obsessing over him already? This could really scare him off. Belive it or not people do sense these things from body language and etc. It will also come across as needy and desperate.

 

If I were you, I will occupy my time with other things and leave it as that and see where it goes. If he calls you, great, if he doesn't than, it's just not meant to be. Continue to go on with working on yourself and doing things you enjoy, that will keep you from overthinking things about this guy. Hope that helps, good luck!

[SherrySher]

Hmmm..maybe too many people getting involved in this when it should be just you and this guy, it could spell trouble down the road.

Plus the roommate saying she knows he said something and then letting it hang over your head like this, is just downright childish and a bit mean. Why say anything at all unless she was going to tell you?

 

It does sound as though he is still interested but I sincerely hope that these other people don't mess it up for you both.

[Wiseman2]

Did he say anything about getting together again? I wouldn't rely on the roommates guessing games for info. How did the date go in general?

2 days ago we all went on a group date (my roommate, her sister and her sisters husband) but it was awkward because I'm really shy and so is he.

[fuzzybunny92]

Plus the roommate saying she knows he said something and then letting it hang over your head like this, is just downright childish and a bit mean. Why say anything at all unless she was going to tell you?

 

That's what I thought, but she said it's because she loves us both and wants us to be happy? She also said "we're just so cute". I don't even know what that meant. I'm 3 years older than her so I'm not looking to play games or anything like that. I'm also pretty worried having her involved and going through her to get to him, but I did meet him because of her so maybe I should just let it be and not overthink it? He's older than me too so I'm sure he's not playing any type of games

[fuzzybunny92]

Did he say anything about getting together again? I wouldn't rely on the roommates guessing games for info. How did the date go in general?

 

It was awkward and we barley talked. He didn't say anything about getting together again, but he mentioned doing stuff together in the future. He doesn't even have my number and I don't know if he'll ask for it from my roommate or not

[fuzzybunny92]

Yes, you are overthinking it! You only met him a few times and you are obsessing over him already?

 

I was thinking this too and I don't want to obsess over it, but it's so hard! A part of me is worried I'm trying to attach myself to another guy because I'm still hurting from my previous relationship, but I really do genuinely like this guy. I need to continue working on myself and doing my own thing, I just hate not knowing if he's interested in me or not

[jujusamples]

That's what I thought, but she said it's because she loves us both and wants us to be happy? She also said "we're just so cute". I don't even know what that meant. I'm 3 years older than her so I'm not looking to play games or anything like that. I'm also pretty worried having her involved and going through her to get to him, but I did meet him because of her so maybe I should just let it be and not overthink it? He's older than me too so I'm sure he's not playing any type of games

 

Speaking from past experiences, it's NEVER a good idea to have a friend involved in setting you up and your relationship. Even if you tell yourself not to let them influence your judgement, they will. You will end up being clouded because it will led to he says she says ordeal. I'd say leave for a a week or so and see if he's going to call you. I'd refrain from talking to the friend about him. Just don't talk about him with her. She does sound a bit childish.

[Wiseman2]

If you are interested perhaps get his number and text 'had a nice time the other night', see what happens and it gets rid of the middlemen.

It was awkward and we barley talked. He didn't say anything about getting together again, but he mentioned doing stuff together in the future. He doesn't even have my number and I don't know if he'll ask for it from my roommate or not

[jujusamples]

I was thinking this too and I don't want to obsess over it, but it's so hard! A part of me is worried I'm trying to attach myself to another guy because I'm still hurting from my previous relationship, but I really do genuinely like this guy. I need to continue working on myself and doing my own thing, I just hate not knowing if he's interested in me or not

 

It's hard, I know, especially if you are still hurting from previous relationship! You want to just void the hurt by focusing on another person. For the long term wise, it is a much better route to take is to get over the pain and hurt first. I know it's hard. In the meantime, I'd just take it as meeting new people. Every-time you meet a new guy, you will know how ready you are to get into another relationship. There are tons of them out there, so don't stress over this 1 guy.

[moodindigo91]

You're way over thinking but I think you ought to cut out all the middle men from here forward. Too many people involved, how are you supposed to get to know each other or know each other's feelings? It's like a heard-it-through-the-grapevine situation. The group date was fine to meet, but now you need to exchange numbers or social media and take it from here.