Progress will come!

[rubysmile]

Hello everyone,

 

This week will make two months since my BU. It has been an up and down roller coaster, and still is, but I am feeling a bit better. In the last two months I've lost 15 pounds (I'm 24 and petite so that brought me to 110 pounds), I've cried almost every day, whether in the morning, night, or at work. Last week was tough. I was filled with lots of emotions and mostly anger, but this week, for some reason, I feel myself progressing. I realize and proudly acknowledge those moments when I don't think about him even if it's just a few minutes or an hour while I'm watching a show.

 

For the first month, I was still stalking him on social media and you can imagine that was hell because he dropped me to get back with his ex. I soon realized that was self inflicted torture. For a month now, I haven't been on Instagram, which was my main tie to him. I did immediately unfriend him from everywhere, but his friends, family, and ex (probably current GF now) still appeared on my Explore page and that was really hindering my healing. So I just dropped it completely. I love IG and I never thought I would have to give it a break because someone is affecting me this way but hey, happens, and I want to heal.

 

For those out there who are on week 1 or month 1 of your BU, it's going to hurt and you need to embrace it in order to get past it. You're human and there's no way you won't feel a thing. I was frustrated with myself because I was crying everyday for someone who has already forgotten about me. I still cry about it but not everyday and I'm still hurt but I no longer feel like I can't breathe.

 

Allow yourself the time to heal and take it from me, don't stalk him or her on social media. It literally does you absolutely no good. I can't stress that enough and I'm praying I continue to have the strength to get through this without any social media setbacks. Whenever I decide to return to IG, I will ask my best friend to go into my account and block him before I proceed... that's how much I want to protect my peace, because fudge him. He's had enough power over me.

 

Thanks for reading.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent update. Keep up the good work!

[Edmund Exley]

Great job on working on you! I think the weight loss is a bit worrisome, 15 lbs in 2 months to go from 125 to 110 is a bit extreme. Just make sure you are healthy.

 

Your Instagram issue made me think how complicated its become. Back in the day when you broke up with someone you just took the phone off the hook. Then *69 came to be and you didnt even need to do that anymore because they could no longer call and hang up LOL. Now you have to erase nearly half your existence just to get away from them LOL.

[antiqque]

Keep up the good work! My fiancee used to be like this when i met her, had a really hard time getting over her ex mainly because she didn't want to cut off all communication. I had a hard time with that but after a month i talked her into blocking him on all means of communication and social media. Even though it was hard on her she got out of her depression and she was ok not very long after.

[Suncomesout]

Nice to see youre doing so well!! I'm in a quite similar situation, a little over two months now, still cry a lot. Sometimes i feel better, more and more.. its a difficult road, ups and downs.. wish i could fast forward a bit..

[rubysmile]

Nice to see youre doing so well!! I'm in a quite similar situation, a little over two months now, still cry a lot. Sometimes i feel better, more and more.. its a difficult road, ups and downs.. wish i could fast forward a bit..

 

It's definitely not easy. I cried... a lot. It literally felt like my heart was being ripped out of me sometimes, but it really does feel at least a bit better now. When I do cry, it's nothing compared to those first few weeks when I sobbed like a baby. And I can most definitely relate on the ups and downs. Sometimes I'm walking to work, I think about him and get angry and roll my eyes because I want him out of my mind! Other times I get sad and shed some tears, and other times I just take it for what it is and find something else to occupy my mind with. I think now I'm starting to see things a little clearer and as much as it sucks, why should we give someone so much importance when we're nothing to them? He lied and I thought this was the best person I've ever dated. Fudge that. The best person I've ever dated doesn't exist, because when I do date him, he won't let me go for anyone else and he won't have feelings for anyone else but me. I deserve that and so do you. It's not easy but we'll get through it.

[rubysmile]

Great job on working on you! I think the weight loss is a bit worrisome, 15 lbs in 2 months to go from 125 to 110 is a bit extreme. Just make sure you are healthy.

 

Your Instagram issue made me think how complicated its become. Back in the day when you broke up with someone you just took the phone off the hook. Then *69 came to be and you didnt even need to do that anymore because they could no longer call and hang up LOL. Now you have to erase nearly half your existence just to get away from them LOL.

 

Thank you! I wasn't eating and didn't have much appetite, but I am doing better! I love food so I'll be gaining those back fairly quickly, I hope! In terms of social media, I thought the same thing a couple of days ago! I wish taking my phone off the hook was the only thing I had to do! Lol! It's so much more annoying now with social media being a part of most of our lives.

[rubysmile]

Excellent update. Keep up the good work!

 

Thank you!!

[devinefaith]

Hello everyone,

 

This week will make two months since my BU. It has been an up and down roller coaster, and still is, but I am feeling a bit better. In the last two months I've lost 15 pounds (I'm 24 and petite so that brought me to 110 pounds), I've cried almost every day, whether in the morning, night, or at work. Last week was tough. I was filled with lots of emotions and mostly anger, but this week, for some reason, I feel myself progressing. I realize and proudly acknowledge those moments when I don't think about him even if it's just a few minutes or an hour while I'm watching a show.

 

For the first month, I was still stalking him on social media and you can imagine that was hell because he dropped me to get back with his ex. I soon realized that was self inflicted torture. For a month now, I haven't been on Instagram, which was my main tie to him. I did immediately unfriend him from everywhere, but his friends, family, and ex (probably current GF now) still appeared on my Explore page and that was really hindering my healing. So I just dropped it completely. I love IG and I never thought I would have to give it a break because someone is affecting me this way but hey, happens, and I want to heal.

 

For those out there who are on week 1 or month 1 of your BU, it's going to hurt and you need to embrace it in order to get past it. You're human and there's no way you won't feel a thing. I was frustrated with myself because I was crying everyday for someone who has already forgotten about me. I still cry about it but not everyday and I'm still hurt but I no longer feel like I can't breathe.

 

Allow yourself the time to heal and take it from me, don't stalk him or her on social media. It literally does you absolutely no good. I can't stress that enough and I'm praying I continue to have the strength to get through this without any social media setbacks. Whenever I decide to return to IG, I will ask my best friend to go into my account and block him before I proceed... that's how much I want to protect my peace, because fudge him. He's had enough power over me.

 

Thanks for reading.

Good for you Ive been where you been keep moving forward it gets better.

[lancelot873]

all it takes is a realization that you WANT to heal. easier said than done and it takes different people different amounts of time to get around that concept.

 

good for you and don't prevent yourself from crying, it's one of the ways to heal. because if you hold it in, you will build it up for next time and it might be more overwhelming.

 

think positive, and positive things will happen

[HealingAngel42]

Hello Rubysmile,

 

Thank you for this post. It gave me some comfort to know that another woman is going through exactly the same pain and suffering that I am going through. Although, I wish you strength and healing, there is some comfort in knowing i'm not the only one going through this much pain. However, I am only on week 2 and the pain is still very strong. We were together for 5 years and had a lot of ups and downs like every relationship, but at the very end, he lied to me and deceived me and jumped right into another relationship. I have had the same feelings like he ripped my heart out of my chest and not being able to breathe, having that feeling every day like someone kicked me in the stomach, crying all the time, trying to keep it together at work then crying as soon as I get in the car. I have such intense pain and mixed emotions, part of me hates him so much for lying to me and replacing me right away and part of me just yearns for him and wants him back. The betrayal I think is what is eating me up...I never in my wildest dreams thought he would betray me like this or ever do this to me. I really thought we might be together forever. Wow, was I stupid to believe his lies and bull. Like every relationship both of us had issues in the relationship. But the lying, the deceit, the betrayal and jumping into dating someone immediately well even before he officially told me and lead me to believe we were still together is what hurts and what is eating me up. Every day I think I'm getting a little better, but like you, he is always on my mind and I hate it. I wish I could just erase him from my mind, but it's never that easy. I'm just following some really good advice from this forum and articles I've read and focusing on making a better me. My faith in God and my mother have also been my solace to get me through this. Congratulations on your weight loss as well, I have a lot more to lose than that so I can get my self-esteem back and feel better, I'm just taking it one day at a time. It's so painful how these things just rip our self-esteem away and how another human being can make us feel worthless. Thank you for sharing this, we will get through this together.

[Suncomesout]

Hello HealingAngel42,

 

What you wrote down here is exactly how i feel and felt and how my situation is, exaclty, the betrayal, getting into another relationship before ending it with me. I'm a man, but i feel the same. I can't get her out of my head, i wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep because of the thinking.. Horrible. Still cry a lot. I'm 8-9 weeks further now. I have to say, it calms down a lot, i still feel bad most of the time, but it gets less intense every day, and i caught my self laughing again on some occasions.

I wish you a fast recovery, stay strong, you're not alone experiencing this. xx

[HealingAngel42]

awww thank you Suncomesout for your kind words.