Instagram to Texting - Help

[Braytc]

There’s a girl near me that i messaged on instagram last night, she responded first thing with “Heyy (smiley face with heart eyes).

 

Talked to her for a couple hours, didn’t do anything crazy just asked her if she wanted to text instead, she gave me her number.

 

Texted her for a while, today asked her to do something this week.

 

She told me her busy schedule, then she said “let me know when you’re free”.

 

Talked to her about that, and now she’s taking like 7 hours to respond.

 

Where do i stand?

 

update: it's been 2 days since she even messaged anything, so i messaged her about an hour ago. 30 mins after i text her she makes a post on her instagram...still no response from her

[HeartGoesOn]

Is there any problem with calling her on the phone?

[Braytc]

Is there any problem with calling her on the phone?

 

if she wont answer my text why would she answer my call? not in a smart ass way just my thought lol. also isnt that a bit weird since we havent even met yet

[Almira23]

Don't do anything.

She has received you text and will let you know when she's free.

If she doesn't then keep it moving

[Braytc]

Don't do anything.

She has received you text and will let you know when she's free.

If she doesn't then keep it moving

 

I get that, but what could possibly be the point of showing all of this interest, then just an hour later be like "i'll just ignore you now" , that's what is stupid. It's the principal

[abitbroken]

I get that, but what could possibly be the point of showing all of this interest, then just an hour later be like "i'll just ignore you now" , that's what is stupid. It's the principal

 

People use the bathroom, sleep, shower, go to work and classes, etc.

[Braytc]

People use the bathroom, sleep, shower, go to work and classes, etc.

 

for 2 days? she had enough time to post a selfie on instagram a half hour after i just texted her tonight, but can't say a single word or even a "ive been busy?" . i don't buy it

[abitbroken]

for 2 days? she had enough time to post a selfie on instagram a half hour after i just texted her tonight, but can't say a single word or even a "ive been busy?" . i don't buy it

 

People text because they are bored. If you really want to go out with her, call her up on the phone. That makes you different than anyone else who could be texting he back and forth.

[Braytc]

People text because they are bored. If you really want to go out with her, call her up on the phone. That makes you different than anyone else who could be texting he back and forth.

 

i made it VERY clear i want to meet with her this week, she responded with "im busy till 11 most nights this week, let me know when you're free" ... talked for like a minute after that and now all of the sudden, this..

[FlashEng1]

i made it VERY clear i want to meet with her this week, she responded with "im busy till 11 most nights this week, let me know when you're free" ... talked for like a minute after that and now all of the sudden, this..

 

Welcome to online courting.. Would you like to see my own inbox of "potential interests that randomly dropped off" ??? IT HAPPENS!! With LITTLE to NO logic behind it other than: They lost interest.

 

Next time, be different and call a day or two after the disappearance.. Now it's too late since you've texted her again. All you can do is disappear yourself and hope she messages you randomly another day.. Other than that man, welcome to online chasing, where things can die out and lose traction just as fast as they started.

[Braytc]

Welcome to online courting.. Would you like to see my own inbox of "potential interests that randomly dropped off" ??? IT HAPPENS!! With LITTLE to NO logic behind it other than: They lost interest.

 

Next time, be different and call a day or two after the disappearance.. Now it's too late since you've texted her again. All you can do is disappear yourself and hope she messages you randomly another day.. Other than that man, welcome to online chasing, where things can die out and lose traction just as fast as they started.

 

But why? what could you possibly be looking for. i already asked her out, unless she has the attention span of a 2 year old, how do you ever expect to get any decent guy? What am i supposed to do, juggle and stand on one leg? after a single night shes like "Screw this" ? again i just don't buy that, and if that's true, then forget everything, because it will never be worth my time.

 

So if i put myself in her shoes. "Okay i like this guy, and i'll give him every hint in the book that im interested" day goes by. "hmmm, idk why but i don't like this guy all the sudden." like what? that's not how the human body works lol. why even give me your number. i'd have 100x the amount of respect, wouldn't care, and would just move on if you just 1. wouldn't even answer me in the first place or 2. say "im not interested" , i would care a WHOLE lot less and wouldn't bother me a bit if you'd just not say anything to me in the first place let alone lead me on

[limichelle]

I understand your frustration I wish people had common decency to be upfront. I would cut your losses and be glad you aren't with someone lacking common decency. She should have told you upfront instead of playing trivial games.

 

 

Lisa

[FlashEng1]

But why? what could you possibly be looking for. i already asked her out, unless she has the attention span of a 2 year old, how do you ever expect to get any decent guy? What am i supposed to do, juggle and stand on one leg? after a single night shes like "Screw this" ? again i just don't buy that, and if that's true, then forget everything, because it will never be worth my time.

 

So if i put myself in her shoes. "Okay i like this guy, and i'll give him every hint in the book that im interested" day goes by. "hmmm, idk why but i don't like this guy all the sudden." like what? that's not how the human body works lol. why even give me your number. i'd have 100x the amount of respect, wouldn't care, and would just move on if you just 1. wouldn't even answer me in the first place or 2. say "im not interested" , i would care a WHOLE lot less and wouldn't bother me a bit if you'd just not say anything to me in the first place let alone lead me on

 

Ohh... I see where you're getting at.. You're assuming that you're on the same level as her... Ahh.. okay. I'll let you in on a bit of a secret (not really a secret) when it comes to women and the internet. You sir.. are but a dime a dozen. They (especially those that reply and react in the manner that you describe) get hit on constantly by different types of men.

 

If you are to put yourself in her shoes, imagine this for a moment: You wake up, check your phone, probably have 5 (MINIMUM) texts from other men. Some friends, some having a crush on you but you'd never see them that way, some potential interests. On your way to work you probably got hit on once or twice (one of those being an unnecessary cat call). You make it to work and deal with the jerk of a coworker who always seems to make some sexual joke or innuendo (or worse, the BOSS that hits on you!), or simply, your male coworkers treat you differently. How? It's not easy describing it.. just 'differently' than they will one another or even other female coworkers. While on break or during a down time, you check out your Instagram and find a cute guy that's messaged you. Yeah you're feeling it but -- DUDE, check out the many other threads here from women that started out interested, and for whatever reason simply lost interest to little or no fault of the men!! (IT... HAPPENS) -- for whatever reason, Scott, the cuter guy you've been going back and forth with has invited you out this weekend to X Show. Your mind is now back to Scott, and you aren't really paying Braytc much attention anymore.

 

I'm going off in tangents probably because I'm half asleep, so anyway back on topic, again if you go through the forums you will find many topics of dudes (and women) who wonder why they were given the number, the interest was clearly there, and BAM someone just falls off. Such is life and that's exactly how the human body can work. She gave you her number because she was probably into you. She probably still is interested, but busy/distracted/fighting fires/saving the world/sleeping with Scott/whatever.

 

If it's completely out of the blue like that on Instagram, or anywhere, and you two have no real history with one another, then don't give yourself THAT much credit. She's not exactly sitting at her computer, telling herself that she's going to give you X hint according to Y dating book/ritual. It can be as simple as she didn't like the way her nails were done that day, and just ain't in the mood that week to text you. (Yes... I've had female friends actually have that be their reason for not hitting a guy up!)

[katrina1980]

People text because they are bored. If you really want to go out with her, call her up on the phone. That makes you different than anyone else who could be texting he back and forth.

 

Many people hate phone calls and I am one of them. Guys PLEASE do NOT call me. Text or email.

 

I also agree with OP, if she's not answering a damn text, why would she answer the phone? Makes no sense.

 

I don't think it matters one iota how two people communicate, just as long as they are communicating.

 

Texting, email, phone call or carrier pigeon, when some is interested, they're gonna get back to you within a reasonable period of time.

 

OP, women are fickle in these early stages.

 

To me she has simply lost interest for whatever reason.

 

Or perhaps was never interested and only wanted attention or to see how high would you jump.

 

Let it go, leave her alone, the ball is in HER court.

[Braytc]

Ohh... I see where you're getting at.. You're assuming that you're on the same level as her... Ahh.. okay. I'll let you in on a bit of a secret (not really a secret) when it comes to women and the internet. You sir.. are but a dime a dozen. They (especially those that reply and react in the manner that you describe) get hit on constantly by different types of men.

 

If you are to put yourself in her shoes, imagine this for a moment: You wake up, check your phone, probably have 5 (MINIMUM) texts from other men. Some friends, some having a crush on you but you'd never see them that way, some potential interests. On your way to work you probably got hit on once or twice (one of those being an unnecessary cat call). You make it to work and deal with the jerk of a coworker who always seems to make some sexual joke or innuendo (or worse, the BOSS that hits on you!), or simply, your male coworkers treat you differently. How? It's not easy describing it.. just 'differently' than they will one another or even other female coworkers. While on break or during a down time, you check out your Instagram and find a cute guy that's messaged you. Yeah you're feeling it but -- DUDE, check out the many other threads here from women that started out interested, and for whatever reason simply lost interest to little or no fault of the men!! (IT... HAPPENS) -- for whatever reason, Scott, the cuter guy you've been going back and forth with has invited you out this weekend to X Show. Your mind is now back to Scott, and you aren't really paying Braytc much attention anymore.

 

I'm going off in tangents probably because I'm half asleep, so anyway back on topic, again if you go through the forums you will find many topics of dudes (and women) who wonder why they were given the number, the interest was clearly there, and BAM someone just falls off. Such is life and that's exactly how the human body can work. She gave you her number because she was probably into you. She probably still is interested, but busy/distracted/fighting fires/saving the world/sleeping with Scott/whatever.

 

If it's completely out of the blue like that on Instagram, or anywhere, and you two have no real history with one another, then don't give yourself THAT much credit. She's not exactly sitting at her computer, telling herself that she's going to give you X hint according to Y dating book/ritual. It can be as simple as she didn't like the way her nails were done that day, and just ain't in the mood that week to text you. (Yes... I've had female friends actually have that be their reason for not hitting a guy up!)

 

I appreciate it and you taking the time to go into detail haha.

I don't even really have anything to say other than "wow, that's stupid" if that is really how it works. That's literally it. The way i look at it, if i like someone, i like them, i go out with them and see where it goes. I don't sit there and bounce around every other day to someone different. You like me, you like me. you don't, you don't. it's not EHH, TODAY I LIKE YOU, now i don't. My mind just has trouble comprehending that is all.

 

If you're giving a dude the "heart eyes emoji" every other sentence, giving out your number to a "Stranger" etc, that's leading on. that's not "oh, i never showed you i liked you in any way before"

[Braytc]

Many people hate phone calls and I am one of them. Guys PLEASE do NOT call me. Text or email.

 

I also agree with OP, if she's not answering a damn text, why would she answer the phone? Makes no sense.

 

I don't think it matters one iota how two people communicate, just as long as they are communicating.

 

Texting, email, phone call or carrier pigeon, when some is interested, they're gonna get back to you within a reasonable period of time.

 

OP, women are fickle in these early stages.

 

To me she has simply lost interest for whatever reason.

 

Or perhaps was never interested and only wanted attention or to see how high would you jump.

 

Let it go, leave her alone, the ball is in HER court.

 

That's so crazy to me. lol. Like lose interest in what, the way i am? Haven't even seen me in person yet lmao. It's not like we've been talking for a week, she's starting to see what im like, and maybe after a week I would say, alright ya know..that's the way she feels whatever. But it's been like a day not even a full 24 hours.

[HeartGoesOn]

Let's not turn this thread into gender bashing, please.

[FlashEng1]

I appreciate it and you taking the time to go into detail haha.

I don't even really have anything to say other than "wow, that's stupid" if that is really how it works. That's literally it. The way i look at it, if i like someone, i like them, i go out with them and see where it goes. I don't sit there and bounce around every other day to someone different. You like me, you like me. you don't, you don't. it's not EHH, TODAY I LIKE YOU, now i don't. My mind just has trouble comprehending that is all.

 

If you're giving a dude the "heart eyes emoji" every other sentence, giving out your number to a "Stranger" etc, that's leading on. that's not "oh, i never showed you i liked you in any way before"

 

Yeah, I get that. You can definitely find someone out there that shares the same belief as you there. Thought, I doubt it's with this one. She's definitely one to give out emojis as quickly and easily as upvoting/liking cat pictures on reddit/facebook..

[Ms Darcy]

There’s a girl near me that i messaged on instagram last night, she responded first thing with “Heyy (smiley face with heart eyes).

 

Talked to her for a couple hours, didn’t do anything crazy just asked her if she wanted to text instead, she gave me her number.

 

Texted her for a while, today asked her to do something this week.

 

She told me her busy schedule, then she said “let me know when you’re free”.

 

Dude, this is weak. I'm sorry. Messaging on instagram takes nooo courage. It barely takes any effort. A phone call may not be fruitful, but at least it's a real effort.

[notalady]

I appreciate it and you taking the time to go into detail haha.

I don't even really have anything to say other than "wow, that's stupid" if that is really how it works. That's literally it. The way i look at it, if i like someone, i like them, i go out with them and see where it goes. I don't sit there and bounce around every other day to someone different. You like me, you like me. you don't, you don't. it's not EHH, TODAY I LIKE YOU, now i don't. My mind just has trouble comprehending that is all.

 

If you're giving a dude the "heart eyes emoji" every other sentence, giving out your number to a "Stranger" etc, that's leading on. that's not "oh, i never showed you i liked you in any way before"

 

I don't completely agree with flash, although that may be true for some. Not every woman deal with that level of attention even if they are attractive. And not all cases of "ghosting" is because the person is distracted or lack the attention span.

 

Of course some just like the attention online and the flirtation, and never intended to actually meet you or anyone for that matter.

 

Some are serious, but before you meet in person, this person doesn't feel real to you. No feeling is attached, no real "I like this person". It might be "I like these photos and profile I see". So it's easy to detach and forget and move on to others.

 

I think you're putting too much weight on someone giving you their phone number and sending some flirty texts. It's easy and effortless and doesn't always indicate genuine interest to meet in real life or to develop a relationship.

 

It's like all green apples are apples, but not all apples are green. Someone interested will give you their number and chat to you, but someone that does those things aren't necessarily interested.

 

Confused yet? Lol.

 

My rule is to simplify. Until you've met in person and gone on a few dates that have gone well, I wouldn't get my hopes up on anything. Until you agree to be in an exclusive serious relationship, anything can change and disappear at the drop of a hat. Of course things can change after exclusivity too but you're much less likely to be dropped with no explanation.

[Sportster2005]

I get that, but what could possibly be the point of showing all of this interest, then just an hour later be like "i'll just ignore you now" , that's what is stupid. It's the principal

 

Principal is irrelevant in this context. People can change interest anytime they want. They don't need our approval or blessing. You didn't talk enough to be owed an explanation, which is only a courtesy these days. It's annoying, but that's the way it is. When people go silent, write them off, and move on.

[nutbrownhare]

If you are to put yourself in her shoes, imagine this for a moment: You wake up, check your phone, probably have 5 (MINIMUM) texts from other men. Some friends, some having a crush on you but you'd never see them that way, some potential interests. On your way to work you probably got hit on once or twice (one of those being an unnecessary cat call). You make it to work and deal with the jerk of a coworker who always seems to make some sexual joke or innuendo (or worse, the BOSS that hits on you!), or simply, your male coworkers treat you differently. How? It's not easy describing it.. just 'differently' than they will one another or even other female coworkers. While on break or during a down time, you check out your Instagram and find a cute guy that's messaged you. Yeah you're feeling it but -- DUDE, check out the many other threads here from women that started out interested, and for whatever reason simply lost interest to little or no fault of the men!! (IT... HAPPENS) -- for whatever reason, Scott, the cuter guy you've been going back and forth with has invited you out this weekend to X Show. Your mind is now back to Scott, and you aren't really paying Braytc much attention anymore.

 

Yep. This ^^^^. You just learn not to take it seriously (unless it starts to get sinister). After all, most of the attention isn't meant seriously either.

 

Also, hold back until you get a handle on what this person's really like, not just for yourself but for her. Generally speaking, decent guys don't go steaming in straight away - players do that!

[Wiseman2]

Agree. Going from IG to texting is a lateral move. Call and be specific about meeting up.

Is there any problem with calling her on the phone?

]

[Wiseman2]

Agree. “Heyy (smiley face with heart eyes). is pretty lame.

She's definitely one to give out emojis as quickly and easily as upvoting/liking cat pictures

 

 

 

]

[nutbrownhare]

]

 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... etc... and I bet both of THEM are players...!