Does this sound like a good plan? Need help.

[lookingbright]

My ex bf dummped me 7 days ago. The following day I showed up at a coffee shop that I knew he would be at (not sure what I was thinking)...I was just sitting at a table by myself, to which he came over to me...our contact was civil, then I sent him a text later that day saying "I am hurt that that you left me, but I respect your opinion, I'll always love ya and wish you the nothing but the best in life...hope everything works out for you"...he responded to that text within the next couple of mins. After that I decieded that I didn't want to be that clingy dumpee who constantly calls and texts him begging for him to take me back so I haven't been in contact with him sense. I am planning on taking the next 5 weeks to think about our relationship and see if I still love him at the end of the five weeks. If I do still have feelings for him, I'm going to send him a text to see if he wants to grab a coffee or watch a game at the bar (he will be overseas on vacation for two weeks so this makes the whole no contact thing a little bit easier for me ). When he broke up with me he stated that he still wishes to be friends. He asked me for one last hug, and as he hugged me he started crying his eyes out (this REALLY confused me as to why we were breaking up). He said we were at different places in our life and the past couple of times we have hung out we have been fighting (we dated for two years and he had A LOT of work the past couple of months which put him in a bad mood..work will be over come January). Anyway, do you guys think my five week no contact/self reflection plan is the way to go about it all?

[Wiseman2]

Yes, it's a good start go no contact and block him and remove him from social media. What did he mean by "were at different places in our life"? Did you want more commitment than he was able to give?

do you guys think my five week no contact/self reflection plan is the way to go about it all?

[abitbroken]

You say you want to take five weeks to think about "our relationship". I know this may sound harsh - but you do not have a relationship. he broke up with you. Take the time to take care of yourself - to be good to yourself. To catch up with friends you had neglected during the relationship, etc.

 

People say "let's be friends" because they don't want to be enemies. They don't want to be your best bud. They just want it to be so if you run into eachother, neither of you go on a crying jag - you can be civil. In otherwords, friendly but not friends.

[kbbcoop77]

No he broke up with you. Don't wait for 5 weeks with this plan to get your ex back. Work on yourself, stay complete No Contact and plan on life without him. If you contact him after 5 weeks and he's seeing someone else you'll feel terrible and it'll set back your healing. Don't accept his breadcrumbs either, friends with exes hardly ever works and if it does usually years have to go by and all feelings gone.

[AvaD21]

I was the clingy dumpee and was told to give it time etc for things to get better and get on good terms again but I think after my own post on here I've realised there's no point in holding out for someone, you do have to move on with your life and if it's meant to be, it will. It sucks especially when you're in a phase of really missing them but you've gotta remember your self worth

[lookingbright]

Harsh crowd! haha jk...I actually appreciate your honesty. This was my first relationship and I'm only 22 (he was older than me and had been in many relationships before mine). Of the two serious relationships that he was in he ended up going back to them again (I guess this should have been my red flag as to that he doesn't really know what he wants in life). I'm not going to hold on to the idea that we will be togeather again. I thank the poster that said "you do have to move on with your life and if it's meant to be it will". I love this advice...not going to try and force anything...especially since while we were dating I was always the one asking to hang out and coming up with ideas for dates and whatnot.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. When you are ready to date again, you'll see that there are more quality guys out there without these all red flag behaviors.

while we were dating I was always the one asking to hang out and coming up with ideas for dates and whatnot.