On and off to monogamous to broken up

[tylerradcliff]

Really quickly, this girl took my virginity in high school in 2010 and we had summer flings for nearly 4 years while I was in school. This past March we went exclusive and she broke up with me in early September with no explanation so I know it wasn't very long. The last month or so was really strenuous, but overall really good during the majority of the relationship and summer flings.

 

I never begged and went NC immediately and was able to restrain going on fb, snapchat, instagram, etc. She put up several statuses on facebook (that I didn't see until MUCH later) that implied she didn't need closure and that the only apology she needs to give is the one to herself for staying in the relationship as long as she did. She also snapchat me parts of the song "beautiful" by mariah carey to me a week after the break up to which I didn't respond because I saw it so late. She then sent a huge apology for being, and I quote a "cu**" saying she had some things she was working on: to which I responded "no hard feelings, breaks are meant to learn from." I also told her if she wanted to get together, to hang out and to have fun then to let me know.

 

The next day she messages me on fb and tells me that I'm a and that I posted pictures with (I have not done anything on social media since the break up) then she asks why I dated her. It seemed pretty all over the place so I ignored this.

 

About a week later I made a funny kind of facebook status (nothing to do with her or relationships) she messaged me that night saying she missed me. I waited until the next day to respond and we made plans to do miniature golf a couple days later. We kept interaction short and relatively lighthearted up until the day of the date and then she flaked with no explanation a couple hours before. Again, I had no reaction.

 

Now, I paid for bumble and I saw that her best friend tried to match me. Several things ran through my head but I respectfully declined and avoided that bag of burritos. So this past Sunday she tags me in a meme about school which she had done once when we were dating and likes some of my old pictures. I haven't had any contact since she bailed on me a little over a week ago so it seemed like strange timing. Again, I did not respond to the tag or the likes.

 

The next day silly old me goes on instagram and see that she has a man crush Monday and talks about how she hates cheesy stuff like that but she guesses he brings it out in her. Now I know the guy is real although I don't know him but I found it odd that there was not a single comment other than from him and not one like on the picture (it had been up 10 hours or so).

 

I'm not sure why it pissed me off so much. I think I feel like she's trying to get me to chase or I am probably a little worried she is moving on, but I just have no idea what is going on. For the foreseeable future I am not initiating contact because I don't think you can dump someone and then stand someone up and expect to be chased.

 

This waslonger than I thought, but any advice you guys have would be totes awesome!!

[Edmund Exley]

Just keep ignoring her. Move on.

[j.man]

Really dislike that term. "Took my virginity." It may sound like semantics but I really do think more often than not it's a direct symptom of an overall destructively passive attitude, such as one that would rather sit back and get pissed at a woman for getting in touch with him and potentially goading him to chase her rather than taking the initiative to block her on all platforms.

 

Grab the scissors and cut her out.

[gebaird]

Block her everywhere. She isn't coming back, and you won't heal if you keep stalking her social media and letting her mess with your head in other ways. Cut & run.

[Wiseman2]

Sounds like you dodged a bullet she sounds kind of flaky and immature. Agree you should remain completely NC and social media block and move on.

 

Don't fall for breadcrumbs of friendzoning. Good luck on the dating sites.

Several things ran through my head but I respectfully declined and avoided that bag of burritos.

]

[tylerradcliff]

Hey guys, I appreciate everything. I blocked, unfriended, and the whole 9 yards. I think I just wanted to show her that she couldn't get under my skin and i think that my ego is in the way. But I do think that the people who aren't directly involved in this (you fine people) can see things with a bit more clarity. Again, thanks your help!