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So I told my FWB I have feelings...


jessielein

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Surprisingly he has feelings for me too!

 

Actually he showed me more that he cares, taking care of me etc. But I told him although I have feelings for him, I don't want to label us, or being in a relationship with him. I didn't really tell him exactly why, I just told him that I am afraid of getting hurt again (which is also true), but the major reason why I don't want to be in a relationship with him is just I feel he is not the right one for me.

 

I care about him but there is something that makes me feel very unsure about taking it to the next level. I have him dearly, but the problem that we have very different world values really disturbs me. He is an artist (a concert pianist), who enjoys life at the moment, who doesn't like structure, who is free, but kind of a difficult person. He's been single for some times now because he doesn't want that the problems of relationship affect how he feels, which can affect the quality of his piano performance. And me, a psychology student who likes more structured things, think more about the future, and kind of perfectionist, but I'm also quite a difficult person.

 

He said I am the first girl that he lets getting this close to him after his last relationship (after the last relationship, he's always been in casual things). But I can't trust him completely... Not that he is a liar or something, but because sometimes he changes his opinions often. Besides, I know some history of his sex life when we became f-buddy at the beginning. I know about his experience of sleeping with his best friend, who is only 18 years old (i am 23, and he is 32). Although they don't do it anymore, I still feel very weird knowing that they had slept together. This morning he told me that this best friend had a problem... And guess what was the problem?

 

She slept with another dude although she is now in a relationship with a 38 years old man... Which really hurt my mind - because somehow everything seems weird to me and just against my moral value. I can't control it that now this girl has really bad image in my eyes. And still he refers her as his best friend. And the thoughts of him talking constantly to her and hanging out sometimes would disturb me if I would like to take it to the next level. I know they don't do anything but still...

 

Any thoughts?

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I know about his experience of sleeping with his best friend, who is only 18 years old (i am 23, and he is 32).

 

I'm not sure why a 32-year-old man's best friend is an 18-year-old girl. That would be a red flag to me in and of itself. It doesn't sound like a "best friendship" to me. Sounds like they were also FWB just like you guys (he seems to like younger women) and now he's caught up because his other girlfriend is sleeping with another man.

 

I'd keep this strictly FWB or run away from commitment to this guy... too many weird things. Sounds like drama waiting to arise.

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I'm not sure why a 32-year-old man's best friend is an 18-year-old girl.
My first reaction as well. Personally, as I got into my late 20s and now into 30, teenagers all kinda look the same to me, whether 15 or 18. I don't think I could have sex with an 18-year old without feeling dirty about it, much less find much in common with 1) a female who's 2) pretty much a generation apart from me.
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Do you think you are getting too close or involved? The point of fwb is to prevent all the relationship complications, no?

I don't want to be in a relationship with him is just I feel he is not the right one for me. he doesn't want that the problems of relationship

 

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