kenobi90 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 i asked a woman i work with out. she said yes and gave me her number. texted her the next day to set up date. no response for three days then got a whoes this. replied its dean from work, no response. got the hint that she was not interested in me and started to move on. was off work sick for two weeks. when i got back to work, a mutal firend called me and said that the woman was wondering were i was and missed me. she also told the firend that her phone broke and thats why she didn't reply. so i go and see she after two days, she told me her phone had broken, i repsonsed with oh i thought you were not interested ( gave her an out to say no) to witch she replied no i am. i asked her out for this weekend, got her number again saturday arvo rolls around and i call her. she didnt pick up and 4 hours later she sends me the "im not ready to date after a bad break up". Now im not dumb, i know that means she doesnt want to date me. i replied with No worries I understand. she then messaged me a few time saying how bad she felt, bah bah. the more i think about it her phone probz wasnt broken and she just wanted me around to stroke her ego Ive been going crazy think about it and i guess i just need someone to confirm that im correct right? i deleted her number and have no plans to talk to her ever again.
mustlovedogs Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 You didn't get played. She may have just felt uncomfortable rejecting you outright since you work together. She may have been excited, but the recent breakup (a valid excuse which you write off) is bothering her. She didn't play you, she just wasn't clear with you. Playing you would be letting you pay for numerous expensive dates and then ghosting you.
kenobi90 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Posted October 3, 2016 thank you for the reply. I just have to move on. thought she liked me, oh well.
ParisPaulette Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I don't know that you were played exactly, but it was definitely weird. And someone who can't just honestly say up front that they aren't dating right now and who plays funny games like that is not someone you want to date anyways. You dodged a bullet, smart to delete her and not bother talking to her again. A simple, "I'm kind of busy," should she decide to pull it again is all you should respond with. And ignore.
kenobi90 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Posted October 3, 2016 maybe played is the wrong word, dishonest and mean is more correct. thank you for your time.
tracyis300 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 You weren't played? You just had bad timing with this girl. She gave you her contact for a reason, and that's because she was interested at the time (weather it being for a love interest or just friends). But then things got bad with her Ex (and I assume he was her Ex before you asked her out? Lol), so talking to someone new and going out was the last thing on her mind or better yet? Not the best thing to be doing in her situation. So you should understand? At least you got an explanation and a apology from her, so that it wouldn't cause you any confusion or back lash. Just brush it off and don't think about it. Life goes on.
JJdilemma Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 She sounds flighty to me. You try to date her & this will continue. Save yourself the aggravation & move on. Work relationships are more often than not a bad idea anyway. Good luck
itsallgrand Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 What a lot of drama on her part. All she had to do is say no. I wouldn't say you got played, you just ran across someone who can't handle the simplest of situations without making it a personal drama. Billet dodged indeed.
notalady Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I would just take her words as is. It's very possible that she was interested but realised she wasn't ready to date yet and told you so after some hesitation about whether to go ahead and go on a date or not. We've all been there. Whether it's true or not, there's no point in wondering the why, rather just accept that she's not interested after all.
Sportster2005 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 I don't think there was anything sinister at play. People are often a little shaky and erratic after a breakup. She's feeling a range of emotions right now. Don't be angry. I don't think she's playing games. People can't help how they feel. And sometimes after a breakup they feel hot and cold, as they try to adjust. Don't take it personal. Move on. Be professional and polite. No need for cold shoulders or retribution. Take the high road.
Wiseman2 Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 Why so bitter? She sounds like the type who thought letting you down without direct rejection was best. Was is confusing, Yes. Was it this malicious act to mortify you, no. Don't ask coworkers out and expect good results.maybe played is the wrong word, dishonest and mean is more correct. thank you for your time.
lostandhurt Posted October 3, 2016 Posted October 3, 2016 This is dating unfortunately. Say one thing one moment and do something totally different the next. This woman was all over the place so consider yourself lucky. If it was to soon to date after her breakup 2 weeks after you asked her out then it was to soon when you first asked. You gave her a few outs and she insisted she was interested. You weren't played but you were jerked around some. It happens so thicken that skin up so it doesn't bother for so long. Keep being who you are at work and ignore any interest she may show in you or anything coworkers may say she said. It is easy to say to put it behind you but what other option do you have? Focus on work and the friends you have there. Good luck Lost
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