yankeesrule Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Last year at my job i confessed to one of the girls that i am very attracted to her and asked her for lunch. She told me that she is in a relationship and said lets see what happens. i completely understood. I made the mistake to stop talking to her. i found out that she just broke up with her boyfreind throught a freind at work. Without my permission, he tells her that i really like her. She giggled when he told her. I started to talk with her about the promotion we both got at work. She was not angry and she responded to my question. she looked shocked that i was talking with her. I want to start talking to her little by little. I am interested in getting to know her to lead into a relationship. There is a problem now, This new guy at the job clearly stated that he is not interested in having a relationship and just wants to have sex with her. He was talking with her outside the hallway and whispered something in her ear she smiled and touched his arm. It is confirmed that all he wants is sex and no relationship. Young guy who has 2 kids. This guy was also staring at a female freind of mine at work that i known for years and was waiting for her to walk by. I truly like this girl and i would like to date her. I do not want her as a woman just for sex, i really would like to be with her. She rejected me the first time because she was with someone. she is not single and i want to talk to her liittle by little. Should i still try to pursue her. Link to comment
yankeesrule Posted October 2, 2016 Author Share Posted October 2, 2016 One more thing i want to point out, i am 36 years old and she just turned 24 Link to comment
nihongo Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 At the end you wrote "she is not single..." I thought she broke up with her boyfriend??? Link to comment
yankeesrule Posted October 2, 2016 Author Share Posted October 2, 2016 Im sorry you are right. She did break up officially Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 So ask her out already although don't say I didn't warn you about the blow back from dating a coworker. Been there, did that, lost a profession over it, I will never recommend it for that reason 'cause if you two get together then she dumps you, you will have to watch her at work every single day. Or worse, watch her date another coworker. Yeah, fun times. Anyways, I have a feeling my cautions about dating a coworker will fall on deaf ears, so just ask her out already. And realize what she does with other guys whether or not she dates you is none of your business. Maybe she just wants a bit of fun too or maybe she's clueless or maybe she just doesn't care or she'll be sweet until he tries something then put him in a hammerlock and haul his butt to HR. You don't know nor should you, it's up to her to decide who and what and how she wants or doesn't want male attention in her life. But if you don't just ask her out on a date how the heck is the girl supposed to be a mind reader? Just ask. Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 There can be problems with dating a coworker... lawsuits and uncomfortable work situation if things go sour. Don't poop where you eat. But if you must..... Since she is single, she might be open to a relationship, you could ask her out. But since she works with you and is not going anywhere, I better strategy would be to socialize with her and wait for her to ask YOU out. We date to get the woman around us so she will fall for us. You are already there. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 I would be loathe to date a person who responded "Im in a relationship, but lets see what happens" Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Sorry but she's a coworker and has a bf, so this is the road to frustration and heartache. Try to set your sights elsewhere. Is she the office floozy? She told me that she is in a relationship and said lets see what happens. He was talking with her outside the hallway and whispered something in her ear she smiled and touched his arm. ] Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Honestly, she rejected you period. It's probable that she said no because she was ALSO not attracted to you. Being in a relationship just makes it easier to say no. So, even though she's now single, she may still not be interested. I think sniffing up the work tree is a problem. She's got to be diplomatic in the way she turns you down. And also you are quite a bit older than her. You two might be looking for different things in life. I agree you should be looking elsewhere. Link to comment
BrokenGator Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 The fact she told you that she was in a relationship and says "let's see what happens" is a big red flag! Imagine you're dating her and she tells some other guy who is interested in her "let's see what happens"? Been there done that. I dated a coworker who ended up cheating on me with another coworker/friend. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 If you want to pursue her then pursue her by asking her out again. If she tells you no this time, now that she is single, then you know not to waste your time on her. Who cares about the other guy that just wants to pursue her for sex. If she's not seeing him then it's a non issue. Be wary of dating a coworker though (as everyone has pointed out) If it goes wrong then it could get messy. Link to comment
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