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Whatever Happened to.....


Ebullition

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Good thing MHowe isn't around these past few days. L.

 

She'd be taking some flak for her outspoken views on you know what thread. I am getting the impression that people who are sharp, outspoken and to the point are not really appreciated over these latter times. Maybe she got fed up of being called judgmental and harsh too, and just went.

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Hermes, look, i'm not singling you out here. But some of those posts on that thread were downright mean spirited. Just plain awful. That's what I was referring to in my posts there. Even after the open marriage tidbit was brought to light some posts were still pretty mean. No hard feeling to you. I generally enjoy reading your posts and often agree with you on many things.

 

I just can't stand when people derail threads like that, and project stuff that changes the subject. So that's why I called it out.

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Yeah, I don't know Victoria, that's a tough question to answer.

 

I generally feel weird about calling things out. Like, it's not my place to do so, you know. But sometimes, I just need to. Especially is a thread is derailing or the post are just not addressing the concerns of the OP.

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We don't. We just leave if we don't like it. I know a nice handful that have, whether for a period of time or it seems forever.

 

I do think ENA has taken on a different vibe in the last few years. I think some people need breaks and don't recognize when they do, and it comes across in their posts. EVERYONE needs a break now and again from a place where you're dealing with perhaps personal triggers, lots of emotions, etc. Let's talk about the cheating thing for a sec - yes, it is the 'ultimate sin' here. For me, those threads are not bothersome because I don't have an unsettled beef about it. I can offer something objective. But you start having threads with deadbeat parents, and while my responses aren't as bad as they used to be, they still nag at something inside of me and I can't be objective. Just can't. That's my own trigger.

 

Fortunately, I don't have to read much about it because it's not a topic that has a lot of threads here. But there are on single parent forums, and I avoid those forums entirely because it's one big trigger ball. You can't get through one page without at least 5 topics of how so and so has not seen their child or refuses to support them.

 

Can't tell people, 'you need to take a break, you're out of line here, maybe you need to do some personal reflection.' I don't know, I just avoid that which upsets me. I figure we have enough crap in our day to day lives that is upsetting, why would I go read stuff that makes me even more upset when I don't have to.

 

But hey, I was on my own personal crusade at one point trying to make points, so I can't really condemn anyone for doing the same. And on the flip I can't condemn anyone for coming to the defense of a poster as I've done the same as well.

 

My solution has just been less time here. I can't change it.

 

Not really a solution type post but just my two cents.

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Yeah I totally get what you are saying cheet, I have been spending less time here as well, because I do agree that the vibe is different. I often find myself agape reading posts on here. Usually I do nothing but close my browser and forget it. Sometimes I just end up calling it out. Whatever I do, I am usually always left dissapointed, just in how easy and common it is to be anonymous and inconsiderate.

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We don't. We just leave if we don't like it. I know a nice handful that have, whether for a period of time or it seems forever.

 

I do think ENA has taken on a different vibe in the last few years. I think some people need breaks and don't recognize when they do, and it comes across in their posts. EVERYONE needs a break now and again from a place where you're dealing with perhaps personal triggers, lots of emotions, etc. Let's talk about the cheating thing for a sec - yes, it is the 'ultimate sin' here. For me, those threads are not bothersome because I don't have an unsettled beef about it. I can offer something objective. But you start having threads with deadbeat parents, and while my responses aren't as bad as they used to be, they still nag at something inside of me and I can't be objective. Just can't. That's my own trigger.

 

Fortunately, I don't have to read much about it because it's not a topic that has a lot of threads here. But there are on single parent forums, and I avoid those forums entirely because it's one big trigger ball. You can't get through one page without at least 5 topics of how so and so has not seen their child or refuses to support them.

 

Can't tell people, 'you need to take a break, you're out of line here, maybe you need to do some personal reflection.' I don't know, I just avoid that which upsets me. I figure we have enough crap in our day to day lives that is upsetting, why would I go read stuff that makes me even more upset when I don't have to.

 

But hey, I was on my own personal crusade at one point trying to make points, so I can't really condemn anyone for doing the same. And on the flip I can't condemn anyone for coming to the defense of a poster as I've done the same as well.

 

My solution has just been less time here. I can't change it.

 

Not really a solution type post but just my two cents.

 

Makes a lot of sense.

 

I think sometimes too people forget that there is an ignore button . You don't want to hear from a certain poster employ the ignore button .

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Just to add, this is sort of related, I used to enjoy reading the online comments sections for newspapers and magazines. I can't even do it anymore, more of than not they are filled with really nasty comments. It's sad. Not sure why, but it's been on the increase, this over-arching anger or something. I think perhaps there is spillage onto websites like this too.

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Yeah I totally get what you are saying cheet, I have been spending less time here as well, because I do agree that the vibe is different. I often find myself agape reading posts on here. Usually I do nothing but close my browser and forget it. Sometimes I just end up calling it out. Whatever I do, I am usually always left dissapointed, just in how easy and common it is to be anonymous and inconsiderate.

There is that too . We have gone from feeling family like to impersonal . Sadly, it is what it is .

 

I know there are a lot of us though who feel ignored because if you're not looking for a date ,dating or breaking up nobody cares about you .

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