Moving on after abuse

[littleone2010]

I was married to a man for 6 years, with him 11 and have a 6 year old daughter with him. He left me over a year ago for another woman. (Aka she saved my life). He was always mentally abusive toward me but the last year of are marriage he started becoming physically abusive. He would throw things, break items, he choked me several times, smacked me once and in January 2015 he raped me while are daughter was in the next room.

My problem now is i am extremely thankful to finally be safe and away from the situation.

I have been fighting for custody of are daughter ever since. Due to rages, I know he wouldn't hurt her physically. But I can see the damage he does to her mentally. I am also afraid if he looses his temper with his new wife. Who is going to protect my daughter the way I tried to.

I went to court 2 weeks ago over the custody but it was put into a recess until December. But during trial, my lawyer tore into him and done a great job. The look on my exs face was pure rage the same face I seen many times before he snapped. But for once he couldn't do anything. I left the court room smiling and happy to finally get him and he couldn't harm me. But for the past week I keep seeing his face in my head and I start to have small anxiety attacks then start reliving everything again. The rape was over a year ago but for the past few days and specially tonight it effecting me worse than ever.

I don't have health insurance right now so I can't go back to my therapist. I am just wondering if anyone else fills this way a year after something happens to them. Or was my ex always right I am crazy.

[Hollyj]

Have you tried an abuse hotline? I'm certain they can also refer you to other resources.

[gebaird]

It takes time to heal from that kind of abuse/trauma. Facing him in court is guaranteed to bring up some of that old pain. I'd suggest finding a good friend you can talk to about the situation. It might help you feel a little less alone in all of this. Maybe writing in a journal could help you work through some of the emotions. Good luck with your custody battle, I hope you win.

[Wiseman2]

There is free counselling available through domestic violence hotlines as well as support groups. You will have to seek out things to care for yourself and continue moving on and healing. Drawn out drama will of course reopen wounds.

 

Why did't you get custody in the first place, given the situation?

I have been fighting for custody of are daughter ever since.

I went to court 2 weeks ago over the custody but it was put into a recess until December.

...Same guy?

[littleone2010]

 

Why did't you get custody in the first place, ]

 

I filled divorce papers against him in August. Went to are preliminary hearing in February. We have a bifurcation divorce. Where we are legally divorced but the matters of are marriage is not settled like custody or money. Courts automatically granted shared custody of are daughter without hearing anything it's normal around here. His lawyer keeps dragging out the dates. Just like are final hearing was half way done. My exs lawyer told the judge she need a recess until later due to her have appointments. So it got put into recess until December.

[Wiseman2]

Be the best mother you can be and provide the best home environment you can. Of course give your lawyer as much documented evidentiary dirt about him as you can. Good Luck.

Courts automatically granted shared custody of are daughter without hearing anything it's normal around here. His lawyer keeps dragging out the dates.