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Hi guys, so my X and I split up in May. We would still see each other every week. We split up as we both went through a bad stage in our lives with regards to work and such, and the strain was too much.

 

We where hanging out one night and I stupidly checked her phone, and seen a txt from her X. She told me it was just friendly. Then she admitted they slept together. This is the same X she left for me 3 years ago. He's rich, and spoils her. Takes her too nice places and such.

 

She begged for me back, and she messaged him (another mistake by me, on my say so) we needed time apart which she has requested since the split in May.

 

We would argue and not talk for a week, then we would meet up, and spend the next 3 or 4 days together, she wouldn't fully commit to me. So we would argue. Then not talk for a few days.

 

Anyway 2 weeks ago, she came to my place and was saying things like "I'm just myself around you, I love you" which her mum said to her when she first met me, apparently she's different around her other X. Her dad before he sadly passed said to her about her X "he's not the one for you"

 

I'm living in the states, I'm from Scotland though. I told her I was going home for 6 months, to do a course. When I got back, my X messaged her and told her that she was moving to the states as well, and to apologize about messages she had sent to her when we first got together 3 years earlier.

 

My GF (X) from the states then believed she was moving over with me. Which isn't true.

 

This past weekend I found out that she went on a weekend away with her X (I know it's hard to keep up) I messaged and asked her, she lied and said she wasn't. Although I seen a photo of them together. We argued again and haven't spoken since.

 

I know the relationship is dead. I'm just struggling. I want to message her, I won't though. Is her X the rebound? I just need a little advice

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You shouldn't message her and it doesn't matter what her ex is,....easy right?

Why?

 

1) You broke up and you admit that the relationship is dead.

 

2) Whole situation is just wierd! And I don't even understand what is your concern.

 

3) You need to cut the contact and start to deal with the fact you are not together anymore.

 

!!And most importantly!! 4) Do some introspection on the topic: Why I checked a phone that doesn't belong to me.

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Ego more than anything. It's time I man up. And just be strong and move on. I do wish her the best. And I know he really loves her. I'm sure she knows I wish her nothing but happiness. I won't message. And I'll stay NC

 

^^^^^Precisely. Good attitude. Sure it hurts but there is no other way. See yourself as a man of value and get out of this situation.

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