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Well last month i found loads of messages to other women, all he ever does is go quiet in a mood with me,said sorry tried flowers chocolates a letter, told me stuff I had to get him to say, like it didn't mean anything that kind of thing, he told me he didn't love me for the first 6 years then he changed it to he fancied me then after he said he did love me and the love grew. But anytime I bring anything up he has a right go at me and blames me for it looking into his past again. Today I found sex sites more stuff alsorts and he went in a right one with me, my fault for looking again, I'm never going to change and he doesn't want to try anymore. I mean he wanted me to drop it the day I found out. I'm not allowed to say anything he finishes me. The last message he said I'm not allowed to bring it up again and end of conversation. Like how's it's a conversation when I'm not allowed to say anything without him having a go at me.That's most of it but there's more don't want to write a book here. Been together over 9 years.

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Liars don't like to be confronted about their lies. This is manipulation at its best. Why are you still with this guy? He said he didn't love you, that he only fancied you, and he's continuously looking for other women while treating you like a mistress.


Do you enjoy this? Just from the little information you've divulged I can tell you that this relationship is a big waste of time. I don't understand why you're still in it.

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Been talking about marriage for ages but it's money, although he's spent over a grand on a car, not a proper car a little petrol car.

He should know that I'm not like that, told him he can't buy me. It's like dating sites, called shagaholic. He's said he doesn't do it anymore. But he never talks it's really frustrating!

I do love him but there's alot of problems. If he actually talked to me properly, and showed me I'm worth something. He doesn't seem to listen.

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Been talking about marriage for ages but it's money


I'm sorry but if he really wanted to marry you, money is not an issue. You could do it at the court house for cheap.


It sounds to me like he treats you like a mistress and he seems to think there is no problem with him being on these dating sites, as if it was agreed upon by you two when you began your relationship. It's the status quo to him, and it's been over 9 years, what have you done besides try to complain about it or talk to him about it that would make him stop? You've stayed with him this long, he's gotten away with it this long, it will never ever stop at this point.


He sees you as someone he can use and abuse to his liking and throw away when he's done. I don't understand why you would be willing to stay in this situation. Love is not enough of a reason for me to stay in an abusive relationship with someone who doesn't respect me or even assign worth to me or our relationship. Also I think at this point, love is an illusion for you.


If you want to keep being abused and treated like crap because you "love him though and it's been over 9 years" be my guest. But I can tell you that there are plenty of people out there who would love you better, including yourself.

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