Crush question

[josm5587]

To keep it simple. Have been friendly with this girl for a month now. Some big steps forward went, out a few times last time being this weekend. Conversation has been good we actually shared a kiss this past weekend among other flirty things. No sex though. We have been mainly communicating via text just seems to workout that way. I naturally am more of an outgoing person shes kinda a text gorilla though she started to be real open as time went on.

 

However, after this past weekend things just seem stale. I mean we talked all weekend but it just didn't feel the same. Seems like a complete turn around. To be honest I also saw her last night at the gym and things just seemed off. I mean to the point where she was mad and didn't even want to talk. She said its been stressful as of late with everything going on in her life but at this point the conversation is dry.

 

I don't know if I naturally just text too much and I should stop at this point and kinda just give her space because I don't wanna keep texting with my high energy and not get the same in return. Before it seemed pretty neutral. Starting to wonder if she completely just lost all interest. Thoughts?

[cucumber95]

Give her time and space, and see what happens, if she doesn't write soon, then she probabaly lost intrest? if that happens write to her and see if she is happy that you wrote.

[Wiseman2]

Yeah, lay back on the texting. Focus more on in person communication. What is she huffy and cold about? The only text you should send is asking her out again and wait for a response, see how that goes.

 

shes kinda a text gorilla

]

[josm5587]

So I don't really know why she cooled off so much. I mean she was never the big texter to begin with but she started to really be open as we texted more and more so I just went with it. I am naturally an outgoing person live and even on text. Hard to explain but maybe you'll get it. She is really busy and initially Saturday after we hung out Friday she was already expressing how "It's a rough weekend." "I have not time to do the things I need to do." Work is gonna kill me this week, school is gonna kill me, I have to study for midterm." Stuff like this. I knew she was a busy girl going into it, but it still just felt off. Maybe I just like her a lot. I mean its not like I didn't talk to her after we hung out on Friday. I talked to her Saturday and Sunday, but like I said just felt so dry and off. Same thing when I saw her Monday night. Like I said she was never the big texter and I initiate almost every convo almost always but after I would initiate she would be all about it so I don't know what that means. Like I said I would just go with it.

 

In any case I made it a point to fall back after Monday. Didn't text her all Tuesday but saw her at the gym again. This interaction was like night and day she started talking to me. Was hanging around where I was working out. She left before me, but she came and found me and said goodbye which I will take as a good sign so I felt pretty good about it. That being said I decided I was still going give her her space and lay off the text for awhile and Wednesday didn't hear a word. Now I sit her and just wonder again ha. I really don't know what to think at this point and it is driving me nuts.

 

At this point I will probably leave it alone today again and see what happens cause there is a chance I will see her tonight at the gym. Either way I may send out a small feeler text Friday at week end when I know her rough week is over and see how it goes. Probably a invite out or something next week sometime. However, if she doesn't answer I think I may be down? Thoughts? Thanks all!!

[SkellyWoozle]

Just wait and see. Time will tell. Leave it like that for a time (see her at the gym, don't see her, and so on) it might be then that she realises that she does like seeing you (if that makes sense!) and if you get chatting then ask her out for coffee, or something?

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like you two are not dating but just texting and running into each other. What's up with that?

 

Good you decided to lay back because it sounds like she's pushing back and doesn't want to see you or text so much.

"It's a rough weekend." "I have not time to do the things I need to do." Work is gonna kill me this week, school is gonna kill me, I have to study for midterm." there is a chance I will see her tonight at the gym.

[James516]

She's already told you what's going on - she has a full plate with work and school and very likely often feels overloaded. Personally I use distance running each week for some alone time to unwind from the week's aggravation, it's easy to guess she uses the gym. So talking at the gym is not what she wants.

 

So your timeline and wants, are not her timeline and wants. Yes, you had one good date weekend, and people who have a lot going on sometimes have a moment to enjoy but that will not be a regular thing. You can't force the situation or manipulate it. There may be another good weekend in the future. But she clearly has more going on than focusing on you with time or texting. From your thread, you have a lot of time to focus on her behavior. Her actions are clear this will not be returned regularly any time soon. The consistent advice here to give her space is good.

 

I don't think she will give you the full attention you are craving, it would be good to keep your focus open to others.

[josm5587]

I mean you guys are right and I am taking the advice of just stepping back for now. I know how it is to feel pressured with stuff so I can relate. To some of the above posts we aren't just running into each other.. I mean as of this week maybe and it wasn't just one good weekend. We've been talking all month, that's why it has been such a surprise the drop off of everything. This was our third date. First one me and her at the beginning of the month, then me, her and her sister went out two Fridays ago and the last outing being this past Friday me and her. So like I said it just caught me off guard of how everything seemed to change when everything was going so well. I mean either I am reading into too much which is quite possible or she really is busy to that extreme. Ohh and the obv just decided to lose all interest. Only time will tell I guess.

[sebrinajhonson]

i have been dating a guy for 6 years now. it started out when i was in grade 9 up until now. a lot has changed over the years and i feel like im trapped with the same guy over and over again. and the worst part is every time i try to make a progress without him i end up getting back together with him. i met this guy in uni and we had a thing but in the middle of it all i left my crush and went back together with my boyfriend. now all i can think about is my crush and i want to get him back but im afraid of loosing my boyfriend of 6 years forever. PLEASE HELP

[SkellyWoozle]

i have been dating a guy for 6 years now. it started out when i was in grade 9 up until now. a lot has changed over the years and i feel like im trapped with the same guy over and over again. and the worst part is every time i try to make a progress without him i end up getting back together with him. i met this guy in uni and we had a thing but in the middle of it all i left my crush and went back together with my boyfriend. now all i can think about is my crush and i want to get him back but im afraid of loosing my boyfriend of 6 years forever. PLEASE HELP

 

Post this in your own thread so as to avoid confusion....

[Wiseman2]

That's always a dilemma in the beginning of dating. Are they really that busy or are they losing interest? You're right, only time and a little space will tell.

or she really is busy to that extreme. Ohh and the obv just decided to lose all interest. Only time will tell I guess.