SadDude Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 Hello everyone, good day! I am new here and this is my first post on this forum. Actually I need some expert advice related to my relationship. Below, I am going to share the problem I am facing. So, this all started 1 year ago when I saw her for the first time. Initially I was all right but I don't know when I started taking interest in her. In those days we just talked to each other occasionally, but one day she asked me for my no and I gave her my no. First few days we didn't had any kind of conversation but one day she texted me on whatsapp and I was in Shock, because I was not expecting her to text me on my whatsapp and start a conversation with me. In her first text she admired my dp. After that we started talking to each other and I was very happy with all that. One, day she told me that she is going abroad for further studies and at that time there was nothing I can do. After few days she went abroad for higher studies and now days she is continuing her studies. I belong to a country where decisions like these are taken by parents so I told each and everything to my Mom. This year on her birthday I told her that I love her and I want to give a proper name to our relationship by introducing her to my mom. She reacted at that time but got normal with the passage of time. In response she said that I am not willing to get in to any relationship, I am happy being single. I want to complete my studies first then I'll think about it. I replied with "Ok, I will wait for you till you are studying but I need your commitment". She said I can not do any such commitment at the time and refused to talk on this topic anymore. After few days she stopped replying to my msgs, she used to reply to my msgs with a gap of one month. So, I stopped talking to her. Now, few days back she texted me from her new no and said that it that she did it unintentionally (don't know she is pretending this or its true.). After that we again started to talk and now she started again the old routine of not replying in time. I still love her like I did initially but this all doesn't seems to become normal as I want. Please guide me what to do in this situation. I want to convince her, that's all. I think I have provided all the info above but if any need to know anything else, can ask through comments. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 Unfortunately it sounds like you came on too strong. She tells you she wants to be single and your response was "I need a commitment"? You need to back off and relax. Don't be creepy trying to "convince" her. "Ok, I will wait for you till you are studying but I need your commitment". She said I can not do any such commitment at the time and refused to talk on this topic anymore.. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 She doesn't appear to be interested so I'd back off for ever if I was you. Start putting your focus on women that actually want a commitment with you rather then one that has no intentions of committing. Link to comment
SadDude Posted September 26, 2016 Author Share Posted September 26, 2016 I did that because she showed response at that time. Link to comment
SadDude Posted September 26, 2016 Author Share Posted September 26, 2016 Please tell me that backing off is as easy as you are saying it. The issue is that I only want her which is why I don't allow any other women to come near me. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 But she doesn't want you so becoming a creepy persistent obsessed guy is not going to help you find love.The issue is that I only want her which is why I don't allow any other women to come near me. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 Please tell me that backing off is as easy as you are saying it. The issue is that I only want her which is why I don't allow any other women to come near me. No one said it would be easy but its in your best interests since she isn't as interested in you as you are in her. Why would you waste your time on someone that doesn't want you the way you want them? That's just using up your good dating years on something non-productive. You will go through some withdrawl symptoms at first as you rehab from not talking to her but as time goes on, you will be fine and you'll be feeling like finding another woman that wants to commit to you. Link to comment
SadDude Posted September 26, 2016 Author Share Posted September 26, 2016 But she doesn't want you so becoming a creepy persistent obsessed guy is not going to help you find love. what you are suggesting me is that I stop talking to her, and forget all about it? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 Unless she contacts you first, leave her alone.what you are suggesting me is that I stop talking to her, and forget all about it? Link to comment
SadDude Posted September 26, 2016 Author Share Posted September 26, 2016 No one said it would be easy but its in your best interests since she isn't as interested in you as you are in her. Why would you waste your time on someone that doesn't want you the way you want them? That's just using up your good dating years on something non-productive. You will go through some withdrawl symptoms at first as you rehab from not talking to her but as time goes on, you will be fine and you'll be feeling like finding another woman that wants to commit to you. Are you sure their is no other way then backing off? Link to comment
SadDude Posted September 26, 2016 Author Share Posted September 26, 2016 Unless she contacts you first, leave her alone. She contacted me first, this time as well. We have normal conversations. What all this is meant for? If she is not interested in me then she should stop talking to me. right? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 If she's not interested you should have some pride and stop talking to her.If she is not interested in me then she should stop talking to me. right? Link to comment
SadDude Posted September 26, 2016 Author Share Posted September 26, 2016 If she's not interested you should have some pride and stop talking to her. Right, I'll try to do so. Thanks for the suggestion. Link to comment
jujusamples Posted September 26, 2016 Share Posted September 26, 2016 It sounds to me like she just likes you as a friend and maybe a little bit more. You can not force someone to do something they don't want. Convincing someone is not a good way to start a relationship. A healthy relationship is based on balance and both parties has to WANT to be in it. Right now, you could either accept her as a friend or just move on with your life. The best way to move on is to just let her know how you feel and that you understand the fact that she doesn't want a relationship. Therefore, you would have to go no contact in order to move on with your life. Just make it clear. You could keep lingering on to this forever, but she already has made it crystal clear to you that she doesn't want a relationship. Even if she gives in, do you want a relationship with someone because you convinced her? You can't force and you can't convince. So the above are your only two options. Good luck! Link to comment
Nas1984 Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 Hello SadDude, Thank you very much for your sharing, that's seemed at my previous experience. That's why I understand really that you through. In 2010 I have met a beautiful girl on facebook and we talked each other every day: we have fun, laugh, joke... it was great ; until I wanted to see her in real. Few year pasted and I began to love her. Then she began to keep his distance when I have told her that I wanted: I'm from France and she is from Sweden. She wanted only staying friends, that's all. Me too I have continued this kind of conversation until that begin to be boring, a day we have broken up our friendship. The question is, do you think it is love? Link to comment
SadDude Posted September 29, 2016 Author Share Posted September 29, 2016 Hello SadDude, Thank you very much for your sharing, that's seemed at my previous experience. That's why I understand really that you through. In 2010 I have met a beautiful girl on facebook and we talked each other every day: we have fun, laugh, joke... it was great ; until I wanted to see her in real. Few year pasted and I began to love her. Then she began to keep his distance when I have told her that I wanted: I'm from France and she is from Sweden. She wanted only staying friends, that's all. Me too I have continued this kind of conversation until that begin to be boring, a day we have broken up our friendship. The question is, do you think it is love? Yes, I love her. and I am sure about it. Link to comment
SadDude Posted September 29, 2016 Author Share Posted September 29, 2016 It sounds to me like she just likes you as a friend and maybe a little bit more. You can not force someone to do something they don't want. Convincing someone is not a good way to start a relationship. A healthy relationship is based on balance and both parties has to WANT to be in it. Right now, you could either accept her as a friend or just move on with your life. The best way to move on is to just let her know how you feel and that you understand the fact that she doesn't want a relationship. Therefore, you would have to go no contact in order to move on with your life. Just make it clear. You could keep lingering on to this forever, but she already has made it crystal clear to you that she doesn't want a relationship. Even if she gives in, do you want a relationship with someone because you convinced her? You can't force and you can't convince. So the above are your only two options. Good luck! Thanks for the suggestions. Link to comment
Nas1984 Posted September 29, 2016 Share Posted September 29, 2016 Yes, I love her. and I am sure about it. Understandable. Is it mutual? There is more sense if you love her and if she loves you too, right? What do you wait from her? Link to comment
SadDude Posted September 30, 2016 Author Share Posted September 30, 2016 Understandable. Is it mutual? There is more sense if you love her and if she loves you too, right? What do you wait from her? I guess its one sided love. Link to comment
Nas1984 Posted October 1, 2016 Share Posted October 1, 2016 I guess its one sided love. If you arrive to be aware about that, yes. Do you think in the long term there will have benefits? Link to comment
SadDude Posted October 1, 2016 Author Share Posted October 1, 2016 If you arrive to be aware about that, yes. Do you think in the long term there will have benefits? Yes, I think so that it will help me in long term. I think being attached to her will may create some place in her heart for me. Link to comment
Nas1984 Posted October 1, 2016 Share Posted October 1, 2016 Yes, I think so that it will help me in long term. I think being attached to her will may create some place in her heart for me. Do you feel the pleasure in this situation? How do you know that can create a place in his heart? Does she tell you? Link to comment
SadDude Posted October 1, 2016 Author Share Posted October 1, 2016 Do you feel the pleasure in this situation? How do you know that can create a place in his heart? Does she tell you? There is no pleasure in this situation, I am in huge pain. That what I have guessed. No, she didn't told me anything like that. Link to comment
Nas1984 Posted October 1, 2016 Share Posted October 1, 2016 There is no pleasure in this situation, I am in huge pain. That what I have guessed. No, she didn't told me anything like that. I understand you, but do you think staying to wait this girl will arrange your huge pain? Other question: what does this girl brings you? Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.