Still doing this

[1a1a]

sit in front of the computer and stare at the internet as those that's going to salve my, I dunno if it's even loneliness at this point. Something is missing though and I don't feel grounded and this is a feeling I only feel when I'm single.

 

Hobbies is going ok, had band practice today (a hobby that brings me into contact with people double win). I went walking with a friend after, I had a coffee date with a prospective romantic person earlier, I've been picking up my guitar outside of band commitments (a little, obviously not tonight, although clearly I Should have). I'm sat at the PC listening to music I like and not doing my invoicing and scrolling the goddam facebook news feed.

 

I'd really like a good sit and cuddle, and to feel wanted.

[moodindigo91]

I think you need to shake the feeling that something is missing from you if you are single. It honestly sounds like you are doing pretty well besides that fact that you feel there's something missing. What will it take for you to feel okay with being alone, with being yourself? Ponder that for a while. It's not even about hobbies or love. It's about you and your will to live and endure.

 

Also, as far as sitting on the computer, staring at Facebook and scrolling endlessly and mindlessly through useless material, you are not alone in this. I think everyone does it. The internet can be a very welcome or unwelcome distraction, especially when at work. I'm at work right now, allowing myself to be distracted by the problems of strangers on a relationship forum. I think it's just a condition of today's society. It's a way to distract yourself from whatever is really going on whether it's work or your own thoughts you need to be distracted from. Before there was internet, people found other ways to distract themselves.

[SkellyWoozle]

Well, if it's any consolation I'm sitting here too, losing myself in this forum! At my computer, wondering if I shouldn't be doing something else. But hey, it's an escape for a while - but in an hour I'm off to play badminton. I guess it's about whether you're happy with your own company. Some people deal with it better than others. I have my family around me, though sometimes I feel insanely lonely. Equally, there are days when I wish they'd all clear off and give me some space. Alas, it's a condition of todays society - looking at Facebook, telling everyone what you had for dinner and making out you have the most amazing life ever. Well, let me tell you, most of the time it's probably not true and people have just the same reservations, hang ups and stresses, just like the rest of us.

 

Give yourself time to just "be". Then, when you've had enough of that, or feel that you need to get up and do something, do it! Even if it's going for a walk, reading a book listening to some music. I think it's also a "thing" today that people (and I say this as a somewhat sweeping, general statement!) are always looking for the "next" thing. Sometimes we just need to take a step back, really take a look at what's around us and just chill out. We don't have to be busy all the time X

[ThatwasThen]

Have you looked into volunteering yet, 1a1a? You will feel needed and wanted if you get yourself into being a seniors advocate or helping out at a woman's shelter or even doing work with your local hospital as some examples.

[Wolfshook]

This is exact thing I've been doing,except that I did it on my phone. Staring aimlessly. After awhile I let myself do that but I was putting time limits on it. And with time I stopped.

 

It's ok to let yourself do some things that have no apparent reason, I believe that's the way your brain is solving things that are troubling you (just like dreams). Let your brain do what it needs and with time things will be better.

[Matt3939]

I hear ya. Physical contact is lacking when we are single. Though I have been enjoying the haptic feedback as I type this.

[1a1a]

Brienoch, Skellywoozle. Good words, timely words, thank you.

 

Ahhhh, ThatwasThen, I told myself I would at least try that and I still haven't. (A feeling like there is a lack of time - although it's more likely I just have poorly managed time because the nature of my work means no routine). And I'm still feeling low. So taken the first step at least tonight and googled volunteer positions in my area. There's heeaps, but so many that seem like they ought to be paid jobs, or like they're way out of my capabilities (disabled care), yet more that want me to commit large chunks of time at odds with my work mandated sleep cycle. I was going to come back and ask you if the nature of the volunteer work makes a difference, because all that's really appealing at the moment is gardening/conservation. But now I'm checking this thread again I see you've already made solid suggestions. There were a few looking for people to visit and provide companionship to older folk, I think I'd be capable of that (and one that's gardening at an old folks home, the cerebral combination?!)

 

Wolfshook, well done. I did it once, with facebook, bribed myself, $5 towards new clothes every time I resisted the urge to check. Been sucked right back in though. (At least tonight, spent some time looking for volunteer work instead of lost in the feed right?!)

 

Matt3939, it ing sucks So Much! (Yay for your small pleasures where you find them).