Was I wrong to date his cousin?

[mjoao93]

I was fooling around with this guy, who I liked a lot. I wanted more, as in to be his girlfriend, but he basically turned me down. He made excuses for why he couldn't date me. One night I went out with a group of people and his cousin was there. He was flirting with me heavily and basically told me that his cousin (guy 1) didn't want me as a girlfriend but only a friends with benefits and he only saw me as a friend. I didn't think that the cousin was scheming when he said it because we had all hung out prior several times and his cousin barely spoke to me. So I never thought he liked me...anyway I ultimately stopped talking to the guy because after I told him I liked him, he purposely tried to make me jealous with other women and it hurt me a lot. Although he knew it hurt me, he kept doing it and did even more when he saw how upset I was. I am now dating the cousin who treats me a lot better and I can tell he really loves me, but now I'm confused because guy 1 acts like we both betrayed him and he is really hurt by this. He is also actively trying to get me back and I feel guilty because I feel like I hurt him. So my question is, was I wrong to move on to his cousin? I didn't do it for revenge but he hurt me too much with his jealousy stunts. He also told everyone including his cousin that he didn't want me and I bothered him too much. that's why I don't understand where all this "pain" is coming from. I really do love his cousin but he's making me feel like I betrayed him . What do I do? Thanks in advance.

[melancholy123]

Guy 1 needs to get over it. He wasn't interested in you then so why the sudden interest? Dont dwell on this, enjoy guy 2.

[ParisPaulette]

Tell Guy 1 to get over it. You two didn't date, you weren't boyfriend/girlfriend so your "guilt" such as it is, is very misplaced and only due to his manipulation and tantrums on his part. You feel bad, because you're letting him still matter to you and have influence over you. And you need to kind of stop all that right now.

 

Don't be a sucker and let him make you think you did anything bad, because you didn't. He's upset to lose his audience and part of his harem, but wanting to have access to your body and nothing more doesn't entitle him to think of you as a possession he gets to stick off to one side whenever he wants.

 

Tell him to put it where the sun don't shine, knock off the attitude because you owe him nothing, and focus on your boyfriend. You two were never an item to begin with, this is just someone's ego and now he's being a manipulative little (expletive) on top of it. Which really, should make you run away from him all the faster, not think you did anything wrong.

 

Start standing up for yourself. Unless you have been in a full-on committed relationship with someone the whole "Oh hey, I was gonna play with/eat that/use that one day in the future when I felt like it" is just a tactic that grown-a&& men and women need to leave in the schoolyard. Tell him to grow up and that you are no longer interested.

 

And mean it. Cut this bozo off at the knees and don't let him try to damage your relationship just to soothe his poor tiny ego.

 

P.S. Block and delete him and stop talking to him. Also realize there is no "getting you back" because again you two were not together in the first place.

 

P.P.S. If you're foolish enough to give in to this guy, expect that he will dump you then toss you under the bus once he "has" you and likely now gloat to his cousin about how he has you wrapped around his little finger and will make you jump whenever he wants. So again, be a decent person and drop the idiots from your life and stop letting them have any say in anything you do. Or who you date for that matter.

[shellyf62]

He doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to either!

Tell him to knick off lol

[SkellyWoozle]

Tell bloke 1 and his control freak ways to get lost. Enjoy being with bloke 2 - he sounds far nicer. It's not like you were dating, or anything. I guess he couldn't have you, though didn't want you, and now someone else has (his cousin, of all people!) and he doesn't like it. Tough. Have fun! X

[Wiseman2]

After you break up, it's over. You can date anyone you want to.

I am now dating the cousin

Same guy?

[j.man]

You can date whoever you want. I'll never understand why some people out there choose not to expand their options outside of the same family, but I suppose that's on them to figure out if the awkwardness is worth it. Personally, I wouldn't ever give consideration to a woman in the same family as someone I'd previously dated or even just had a fling with, but that's just me.

[SherrySher]

Guy 1 was not interested, his ego is only hurt now because you weren't still wanting him and had moved on. Don't get me wrong here, him still wanting you to want him does not mean at all that he wanted you back, he only felt some kind of power having someone chase him and want him. Don't even think twice about a jerk like that, be happy with someone who actually did value you, which is now guy 2. Guy 1 only wants women to chase him while he treats them badly, he sounds like an ass.

[agent1607307371]

I probably wouldn't have gone fishing in the same family pond, but G1 didn't want you. He doesn't get to act like you've betrayed him because you've moved on.

[Wiseman2]

I probably wouldn't have gone fishing in the same family pond

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[mjoao93]

The relationship with his cousin was not intentional, guy 1 tried to make it seem like since he rejected me, I moved onto the next best thing (his cousin) which was not the case. His cousin pursued me and I was always upfront about my feelings but with time I fell for him. We are happy together but it seems as if guy 1 is actively trying to sabotage the relationship. Anyway I will try to ignore him. I had a hunch that he just wanted attention again, which was probably right.

[Wiseman2]

We are happy together but it seems as if guy 1 is actively trying to sabotage the relationship.

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