Is it wrong that I don't drive my parent's car to drive myself places as of now?

[beachlover96]

I am 20 and I have my driver's license but I don't have my own car yet so I have to rely on my parents and the bus to get me places but my parents won't let me drive their car because they don't want me to be on their insurance and they don't feel comfortable with me driving but I am a safe driver and drive just fine and I don't get nervous behind the wheel anymore and I am ready to drive on my own. I am currently saving up to buy my own car but while I save up for a car and before I get a car of my own, they told me when they see comfortable with me driving they will add me to the insurance and I will start driving their car on my own and it's been a few months of driving on own with them and they still haven't let me drive on my own with their car. I drove with my parents on my own several times and they always say that I'm still don't drive on my own and it's very frustrating because I drive safely and I never text and drive. I need to drive myself places since I'm an adult. They don't want me to add me to to my insurance because it's too expensive for them but the problem is, I need to drive places as an adult and I'm tired of taking the bus and getting rides from my parents. Is it wrong of them to not add me on their insurance and not let me drive their car so I can drive myself places on my own?

[SkellyWoozle]

It depends on their reasons, I suppose. Do you have a job? Are you able to offer anything towards the extra insurance? After all, you are 20 and should be able to support yourself to some degree. Just because they have a car don't presume you're entitled to drive it. I wouldn't let my daughter drive my car, that's for sure. It's too big, for one. If you want to be treated like an adult.... behave like one.

[beachlover96]

It depends on their reasons, I suppose. Do you have a job? Are you able to offer anything towards the extra insurance? After all, you are 20 and should be able to support yourself to some degree. Just because they have a car don't presume you're entitled to drive it. I wouldn't let my daughter drive my car, that's for sure. It's too big, for one. If you want to be treated like an adult.... behave like one.

 

I am looking for a part time job and should be getting one soon and I can't afford the extra insurance as of right now but I'm working on it.

[SkellyWoozle]

OK. So at the moment you're just getting lifts with them rather than driving with them as passengers? Sorry.... A tad confused by your post X

[avman]

Is it wrong of them to not add me on their insurance and not let me drive their car so I can drive myself places on my own?

 

Maybe they simply can't afford it. My insurance rates tripled when I added my young drivers to it and that is a big hit to the budget. It may have nothing at all to do with you or how your parents feel about your driving. I trust my teens too but that doesn't mean I can afford unlimited costs when it comes to them.

[Batya33]

If you are an adult, then part of that is working towards financial independence. Show them that not only are you a safe driver, but you will pay the additional insurance (or you can save for your own car). Also if you get a job that requires you to use their car they may be more amenable to that since you are using it in order to make some extra money and be an adult.

[j.man]

Very first car I owned was a 1994 Chevy Lumina that I bought for $450. It was a POS, but it got me from Point A to Point B. Was never put on my mom's insurance for her car. Learned how to drive with it, but never drove it independently.

 

It sounds like you're capable of making due, even if it's less than ideal for you. If you've been over 18 for 2+ years, you should be able to afford a beater with a heater by now.

[Vastaux]

Get your own car... Its not wrong of your parents not wanting to risk their insurance or their car which I'm sure they worked hard for on you, they don't owe you anything.

 

You'vegot your liscence, that's great! Seriously, it's awesome you've taken the initiative to get it! But untill you get your own car or find someone who will let you share theirs then that liscence means diddly squat.

[agent1607307371]

I'm an additional driver on my mum's insurance currently. I pay the extra cost to her. If you're not paying the additional, they can't afford it, so you're not on their insurance, then it is what it is. Ultimately, it's their car. Right or wrong doesn't come into it.

 

Would it be easier for you? Yes.But use that as momentum to pay for your own insurance or save for your own car.

[Capricorn3]

They don't want me to add me to to my insurance because it's too expensive for them but the problem is, I need to drive places as an adult and I'm tired of taking the bus and getting rides from my parents. Is it wrong of them to not add me on their insurance and not let me drive their car so I can drive myself places on my own?

NO, it is not wrong of them at all. They have explained their situation and you should respect that. Your are 20 years old and they don't owe you anything.

[journeynow]

It's not wrong. It is expensive in your age range, I'm sorry to say, and if you do have an accident, even a small one, their insurance will go even higher. Plus if it is a car they rely upon and cannot afford additional repairs or to replace, it's reasonable for them to decide that they can't afford the risk

 

However, rather thank focusing on right/wrong, you can offer to pay the extra insurance plus pay them something for wear & tear to help shoulder the cost. And of course pay for gas (and always return the car with the tank full), clean the car, go out of your way to show responsibility for it. You may decide it's not worth it and you prefer the bus, or bicycling, or carpooling.

[Andrina]

Don't know what your situation is and why you're just looking for part time. At your age, I worked full time, went to college full time, owned a car and payed half rent on a tiny place by the beach. My stepdaughter is your age, and she's been out of the house since age eighteen, working 2 part time jobs, going to college, and sharing an apartment with a friend. What's the reason you can't work full time, and have you ever held a job before? Life's expensive. It's up to you to make a plan to be able to afford all of the essentials, and sometimes it takes being tired and working hard and living life to the extreme to get where you want to be. Good luck.

 

Your parents are acting in their own best interests, as they should. Up until age 18, they owed you food, shelter, and an education. Beyond that, they don't owe you anything.

[Wiseman2]

Can you work and pay for your own insurance? Unfortunately it's their car so their choice.

They don't want me to add me to to my insurance because it's too expensive

[DancingFool]

As an adult it is wrong of you to expect your parents to spend a single penny on you and you should be grateful they haven't kicked you out of the house or demanded that you pay rent and buy your own food like an adult should. You are certainly not entitled to their car regardless of how safe of a driver you are. Get a job, get your own car, pay your own bills. If you can't afford to, then you will ride the bus until you can and that's that. That's what you do as an adult.

[dave_1966]

No way should they risk their insurance on a twenty year old driver, no claims discount takes years to accumulate. My first car was like Fred flinstones, I could put my feet through a hole by the pedals. It was rubbish, but I built up my insurance discount driving the heap. You should do the same, start with any age Nissan micra. Truly awful, but very reliable.

[Scoe141]

Aside from the fact they can't afford it, I think there are a couple takeaways here. One, they're not going to spend beyond their means, and I think that teaches you something about finances. Two, they're teaching you independence, money management and a lesson about life. I think that's something lost these days. A lot of teenagers (young adults) are entitled and given everything on a silver platter. Hopefully this will make you appreciate things and will only make you a better person.

 

Ask any Greatest Generation (if they're still alive) or Baby Boomer about growing up and what they may have endured.

 

Good luck.

[ButterflyWrists]

At 26 with 10years road experience my mum is still apprehensive about adding me to her insurance even with me paying. Admittedly I do have a motorbike to get around. But your parents do not owe you their car. You're living rent free by the sounds of it. You want something got earn it or suck it up and take the bus. If there were no buses to where you live you might have some sort of argument for driving their car but even then they are entitled to refuse.

[Zaphod]

Don't know what your situation is and why you're just looking for part time. At your age, I worked full time, went to college full time.

 

I'm trying to work out how you simultaneoulsy worked full time (40 hours a week) and went to college full time (40 hours a week), or do you mean you alternated between them?

 

OP - despite what others say, 20 is a very young age to consider oneself "adult". Also, financial independence is not necessarily part of being adult (ask any married house person whose partner is the breadwinner). Such materialistic superficial things have little to do with being adult. People are in such a hurry to lock down young people into a life of drudgery as soon as possible with this mindset. If you live with your parents and can't contribute financially, then contribute in some other way, for example, labour around the house, etc.

 

Jesus wasn't financially independent, was he? Diogenes wasn't. All adults. All "adult" means is biologically mature. In fact, most adults are a very far way off being financially "independent" - they've simply swapped their parents for the bank (e.g. loans, HP etc.). Having a mortgage is the very opposite of financial independence. Don't feel pressured to rush into all of this.

 

I think what people actually mean is financially "independent" of your parents. Which, again, has little to do with being adult. It simply means you're financially independent of your parents. All these "I moved out of home when I was 18, had a job, paid my way" etc. humblebraggers obviously don't understand that different people have different situations and different problems.

 

There's nothing wrong with your situation. There are no rights or wrongs as regards this particular situation. Your parents probably just don't want the heavy cost of having such a young person on their insurance. Best bet is to do what J Man said and get yourself a cheap car. Small engine, low insurance, old car, learn how to do your own repairs etc.

[Zaphod]

Case in point -

 

I have a friend who's about 45 years old. She doesn't work because she elects to live with her Mum who is ill. She is effectively her carer. Her Mum supplies her with the money she needs, if any. In my eyes, this woman is far more "adult" through her choice to give up her own life to a certain extent to care for her Mum, rather than leaving.

 

Also, the car insurance company obviously doesn't view you as fully adult, otherwise your quote would be cheaper.

 

Like I said before, 20 is an extremely young age to be considered adult. You'll always get people bleating on about how young they were when they left home and how "adult" and independent they are. Take no notice. Every person is different.

[Wiseman2]

You'll always get people bleating on

]

[hyden]

I'm trying to work out how you simultaneoulsy worked full time (40 hours a week) and went to college full time (40 hours a week), or do you mean you alternated between them?

 

I cannot answer their specific stuation, but going to school full time does not equate to 40 hours/week. 4 classes can be considered 'full time'. I personally did 3 semesters of 4 classes (full time), while working my banking job full time (40 hours/week) and having my kids on the weekends. (8 and 10 at the time).

 

OP - At 20 years old, you seem a bit behind the independance curve. While that is ok (meaning I wont judge you for living your life differently than others), it can warp into a sense of entitlement. You say you are saving for a car, but are looking for a part-time job. How are you saving for a car without a job? It sucks not having a car...or money...or a job. Start with the job and work from there. Honestly, if you got a job, they might feel that you are being more responsible and their views could change.

[melancholy123]

You need to either be able to pay the extra cost of you being on your parents' insurance or buy your own car and pay your own insurance. Your parents are not obligated to let you drive their car and they dont need to pay your insurance either. Keep taking the bus and saving your money.

[superfan]

OP, your parents don't have to put your on their insurance. Mine never did and it meant that I couldn't afford my first car until I was 27 years old. It was a 1998 Dodge Stratus and cost me $3000 that I saved for two years to get.

 

Statistically your age is the most likely age to get into a serious car accident and that could cause their insurance to skyrocket or even get denied if you are charged with something like careless driving.

 

Are you male or female? Rates are even higher if you are a male under 30 I believe.

 

Either way, if you want a car then you need to save up the $ and pay for the insurance yourself. Adulting achievement unlocked!

[Zaphod]

Adulting achievement unlocked!

 

If only it were that simple.

[j.man]

If only it were that simple.

If you're living at home without having to cut a rent check, it really should be.