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I added her FB first and she still hasn't accepted my friend request


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I've worked with this girl for over a year, but since both of us like to keep to ourselves, we never sparked up a conversation until a couple months ago. Over this time I noticed her putting more effort into interacting with me, I sometimes catch her looking at me, she asks obvious questions about work for an excuse to talk to me, cute stuff like that. Recently we got on the subject of vacationing and she told me to look up her youtube channel. She said the name of the channel (her first and last name) and made sure I knew that was her full actual name by saying "that's my name ya know". (that gave me a clue that she doesn't mind me knowing something personal about her). Next time I saw her at work I told her I watched it, and through out that day she kept initiating the conversation, telling me to look up the bands in her video, stuff like that. At one point I said "you're on FB right?" She said yea and asked what my name was on there. I told her I did video editing like she does and had a video on my FB that she should check out. We chatted about how she recalled my last name and connected me to my sister that she knows well. So, a couple days after I saw her at work I thought to myself if it would be creepy to add her on FB first. I figured there was a good chance she would add me eventually, but I assumed we would play this game of "you go first" on and on, so I decided to just add her. She hasn't accepted for three days now and I'll see her back at work in couple of days. Hopefully she accepts before I see her at work, or I'm afraid it'll make things awkward. Is it a good chance she doesn't want to look desperate and waiting on accepting me, or did I turn on her stalker warning signal and ruin it?


If she doesn't end up accepting, should I playfully tease her and bring up how she didn't accept my friend request on FB, or should I just pretend I never added her?

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Whenever there is a woman you are attracted to and she is showing some sort of interest, whether it's clear she is interested or just being friendly, don't passively goof around with the social media unless you are in middle school. Continue to use the app called vocal cords located in your neck to build more with a conversation.

If all goes well, and this isn't a permanent job that dating rejection would be a problem you don't want to deal with, then eventually say something simple for the next step such as "I've enjoyed the good conversations we've had but there hasn't been enough time, how about meeting for coffee?"

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So should I cancel the request, or just forget about it?


Relax. Don't do anything. Continue to get to know her. If she wasn't a co-worker I would suggest just asking her out. If you don't care about that, then just ask her out. Don't try to guess why or why she didn't add you. Whatever you do, don't make a big deal over it.

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It won't be awkward unless you make it awkward. Treat it like nothing happened and go about your business. If she never adds you then c'est la vie.


Agree with this and with Naomi -- it is so not a big deal that you never even thought again about the fact that you friended her. That is the sort of thing I would forget immediately. It is only the click of a button. Continue on as others recommend - conversation. Move in very small increments. Pretend she is a guy - that may help you strip unnecessary content from the conversation. Take everything on face value.


E.g., I have a friend whom I invited on fb years ago. He accepted my request a couple of years later. Who knows his reasons. Our shared work environments, his wife, his fb strategy at the time, he fell asleep and forgot about. Who knows. I was friends with him anyhow so what did I care? I did not. Neither should you.


Build a friendship in the normal course, and keep it respectful so that dating can remain a possibility.

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I never really had an issue with becoming friends with someone on FB before. Usually they add me, so I think this is the first time I realized simply adding someone on FB can be a mistake. Thanks for all the input guys, I'll ask her out for some coffee sometime.


Just pretend it never happened. Don't mention it and don't cancel it.



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