Is there hope if he gave me another chance?

[Lumanos]

boyfriend (1 and half yrs) and I recently got back together, he was HELL bent on a break up but I asked him for a last chance. This time it was really my fault and the frustration of my (selfish and inexcusable) past mistakes had been building up, so now even after we are together he's changed, says he loves me but it's hard for him to love me the same. He's willing to give me another chance at us but He's SO withdrawn, distant and irritated. I really want to make amends this time as I've finally realised my mistake but he has a hectic job, so we are unable to meet much. We never texted too much anyway and now it's just awk. He acknowledges that I'm changing and trying but He gives short replies when I call, doesn't talk much and says that I shouldn't 'FORCE' him and let him adjust at his own pace. He says that if I can put up with the changed him then I should stay or leave because he needs time. Is there hope he will eventually warm up?

[Rising100]

And what happened before... For him to act this way and feel distant.

[Wiseman2]

What was the breakup about? It sounds like he's very guarded and just sort of going along with things but not really fully in. Did you to agree on a "see how it goes" situation?

he was HELL bent on a break up but I asked him for a last chance.when I call, doesn't talk much and says that I shouldn't 'FORCE' him and let him adjust at his own pace.

[Lumanos]

I made some pretty selfish mistakes during the past one year for which he kept forgiving me and giving more chances but my tendency to depend on him for the SMALLEST of things that I should let go but didn't (just to get his attention) drained him because i also put myself in pretty dangerous situations even after he warned me.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it would be best to move forward and put this all behind you. Begging someone who is reluctant to be with you is usually an exercise in futility and heart ache. He's not interested and is done.

 

Don't try to "work on yourself" in the context of begging a resentful distrusting reluctant ex to take you back

 

Get on your own two feet stop being clingy, dependent and do some work on learning to be alone and grow. Staying in this will only hurt you because he is not interested in getting back together nor feels the same about you and has told you so.

 

Perhaps work with a counselor/therapist on some self-esteem, boundary and anger issues.

I made some pretty selfish mistakes during the past one year for which he kept forgiving me and giving more chances but my tendency to depend on him for the SMALLEST of things that I should let go but didn't (just to get his attention) drained him because i also put myself in pretty dangerous situations even after he warned me.

[SooSad33]

"he's changed, says he loves me but it's hard for him to love me the same."

 

Will he warm up? Probably not..

- his feelings are changed now.. as mentioned

- the damages are done- from breaking up

- so often when couples may try again.. it's never the same again.. sadly.

[Rising100]

I made some pretty selfish mistakes during the past one year for which he kept forgiving me and giving more chances but my tendency to depend on him for the SMALLEST of things that I should let go but didn't (just to get his attention) drained him because i also put myself in pretty dangerous situations even after he warned me.

Sounds like you really messed up and now he doesnt want you because of what you did or doesnt trust you anymore.

Sounds like you lost him.

[Liraele]

You had to beg him to give you another chance... that's a bad start.

 

Time and changed behavior on your part may cause him to thaw, but you kinda made your own bed here it sounds like...and it doesn't sound like he really wants to be there/believes you'll change.